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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if I can take my DC to hospital with me?

46 replies

keeponpushinglove · 22/04/2022 11:12

Shamelessly posting here for traffic purposes Blush

Positive pregnancy test. I have a Mirena coil.

I had a scan arranged for Tuesday to check what's going on.

However I felt off this morning and now have quite intense period pain to the left side. Bleeding, but more like a light period, not heavy. Feel a bit sick and dizzy with it

I'm wary of ectopic pregnancy risk and think it would be sensible to take myself off to A&E but can I take DC?

DH is on his way but he's 4.5 hours away!

Should I wait or can I take them? I know it'll get asked so no, we absolutely don't have anyone to step in and take them for now whilst I go to hospital

Can I take them with me really? One has special needs. The other is a small baby. In a sling. Doesn't have a pram as she's in a sling. How would they even scan me etc?

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 22/04/2022 11:14

Your baby only has a sling- no maxi cosi?

keeponpushinglove · 22/04/2022 11:15

@OnlyFoolsnMothers She does have her car seat but it isn't light, and DC1 will be in a very heavy pram type thing to support DC so it isn't really doable

OP posts:
RidingMyBike · 22/04/2022 11:18

If you're feeling dizzy how are you going to get to the hospital?

Is there a local Mum friend type person (someone from a toddler group etc?) who could either meet you there at the hospital and sit in the waiting room with them or who you could drop the DC off with? I've done this before to help out an acquaintance from a group.

FusionChefGeoff · 22/04/2022 11:19

A baby who's not rolling could be placed on a blanket on the floor in a worst case scenario but it sounds very difficult- can you phone someone at the hospital / scan dept and ask their advice?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 22/04/2022 11:19

how do you get out and about with them every day?
Re: dizziness and sickness, can you try eating and drinking, sitting down and seeing if it passes.

keeponpushinglove · 22/04/2022 11:19

@RidingMyBike I'm feeling slightly dizzy but nothing that means I couldn't drive

As I said, there is no one. DC1 is severely disabled. You find yourself with very little help in those situations sadly

OP posts:
keeponpushinglove · 22/04/2022 11:20

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

how do you get out and about with them every day? Re: dizziness and sickness, can you try eating and drinking, sitting down and seeing if it passes.
With DC1 in his support pram and DC2 in a sling, hence me saying she only has a sling and no pram etc x

She does have a car seat of course but I can't lug that around whilst also pushing DC1

OP posts:
RoomOfRequirement · 22/04/2022 11:21

If you have no choice of course YANBU. It's not ideal but you are entitled to medical care!

Hope everything is ok 💐

Vsirbdo · 22/04/2022 11:22

Why don’t you phone your GP/early pregnancy unit/community midwives/111 first to see if they advise going to a&e?

Poppins2016 · 22/04/2022 11:23

I'd also be wary with those symptoms.

Could you call ahead to EPU/A&E to make them aware of your situation? They may be able to arrange to scan you as soon as your DH is able to take over this afternoon.

Alternatively, if you feel you're rapidly worsening, I think you have no option but to attend with your children. The risk of ectopic pregnancy is worth taking seriously. The very worst case scenario is that they'll arrange temporary foster care in the event of a serious medical emergency.

keeponpushinglove · 22/04/2022 11:24

I don't have a community midwife. They're based at the hospital but and pass you through to labour ward. The midwife there advised A&E

GP... if I have an ectopic it'll be ruptured before they answer. They are so busy

On hold to 111. Going to see what they suggest

OP posts:
CrotchetyQuaver · 22/04/2022 11:24

I think get your DH back asap then go. If you start feeling much worse then that might have to change

Jellycatrabbit · 22/04/2022 11:24

I've taken dc to hospital with me in a sling, in my case through poor planning rather than emergency. There was a little queue of hcas willing to hold her while I was being treated. Id planned to pop her on a blanket in the corner which I think would probably also have been fine

Hope you get sorted quickly x

Hugasauras · 22/04/2022 11:27

If it's an emergency then yes, you'll just have to take them as the alternative is much worse. You won't be the first or last I'm sure, and I'm sure someone can hold the baby for a few minutes or she can just be settled on a blanket on floor or something for your scan.

Depending on how you're triaged, your DH might get there before they scan you anyway, so it might be more a case of just being in the waiting room or a cubicle with them,

Pythonesque · 22/04/2022 11:30

It sounds like your choice is between getting to A&E now while you can still drive, or waiting and risking having to get an ambulance if things get worse.

If your husband was closer or there was some prospect of other help arriving within an hour or so then waiting could be best, but as that sounds impossible, then making an early call is a good idea.

The risk is if your symptoms worsen while you're in the car. I hope you don't have far to go, and this is the biggest argument in favour of going asap. If you are in any doubt about your own fitness to drive, then DON:T! but consider a taxi.

Someone might be able to carry the babyseat in for you. Fingers crossed all is ok.

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 22/04/2022 11:37

If you feel you need to go I'd go. Not ideal but I'd expect baby can be laid down on a blanket on the floor if they want to do a scan. At least then you're in the right place if you need urgent attention. I've had to take SN DC to hospital for urgent care with me a few times when pregnant with youngest. They could go in a double pram so didn't have that issue, but as for the actual taking them to A&E it happens, not everyone has someone they can ask. SN and disability make it more likely you won't have that.

JurasicPerks · 22/04/2022 11:40

4.5 hrs with a possible ectopic and dizziness, I'd take the kids to A&E.
In less than 4.5 hrs with a diagnosed ectopic I went from "you've just been bumped to tomorrow's surgery list as weve had some emergencies come in" to "you are getting the next operating theatre that becomes available and here's a massive dose of morphine"

RoseAndRose · 22/04/2022 11:41

If it is an ectopic pregnancy, it is an emergency, so I think you should go in.

I would recommend a taxi, though, if you are feeling dizzy and are having pains, because even a minor shunt could delay you horribly, and you cant risk a worse one

Tell the hospital on arrival that your DH is on his way

If they can get started before he is there, then they will look for suitable supervision for your DC. Its a complete PITA for them, but there are ways. And when its something that clearly needs emergency attention, such as establishing whether your symptoms could be an ectopic pregnancy, they'd rather be bothered by the logistics of child wrangling than deal with an avoidable life-threatening incident

thecurtainsofdestiny · 22/04/2022 11:44

They won't turn you away from A&E with those symptoms even if you turn up with children, so I'd say go.

( Have worked in A&E and have seen similar)

Plutoisaplanet · 22/04/2022 11:44

If you are dizzy and potentially deteriorating don’t drive. It would be reckless. Hope you get some help soon.

thecurtainsofdestiny · 22/04/2022 11:45

But I agree with PP, don't drive, get a taxi!

keeponpushinglove · 22/04/2022 11:48

Thank you.

111 advised A&E. and offered an ambulance. I can't get a taxi due to the logistics of it

DS wouldn't sit still in a taxi seat with a belt. It would be so dangerous. And I can't carry her car seat and push his megaton special pram too so I'm going to drive up

Not really dizzy anymore at all but feel nauseous

OP posts:
Teddah · 22/04/2022 11:48

Please go straight away but ideally, don’t drive. There’s a risk you could deteriorate.
all the best Flowers

Whatsmyname100 · 22/04/2022 11:49

I agree, just go with the kids. It's not ideal but if it's very serious then priority is that you're attended to.

Marty13 · 22/04/2022 11:52

Of course you can go with your kids. What would they expect you to do if you were single ? To arrange for emergency childcare in less than an hour ? Just take them and go.

(obviously don't drive if you're not certain you are fit to drive, ask a neighbour or take a taxi).

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