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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH and Covid

45 replies

Unsure14 · 22/04/2022 08:50

I know I am but need to vent.

DH ill in bed with covid since Monday. Will only grunt at me or send a text to ask for things to be left outside the spare bedroom door.

In the meantime I’ve just been offered a new job and really wanted to celebrate. We’re going on holiday next week and I’m desperately trying not to get ill. Wanted to have a nice weekend prepping for holiday but that’s not going to happen now. DC’s birthday tomorrow and have to organise and run the party single-handedly on top of working full time, disinfecting the house and everything else.

Im being unreasonable aren’t I?

OP posts:
PhileasPhilby · 22/04/2022 09:21

It’s rubbish isn’t it but if you don’t want to risk catching it he’s doing the right thing by staying away.

It’s ok to say gah this sucks but not to blame your DH, he can’t help having covid. At least you aren’t all having to isolate like you would have last year.

Pyri · 22/04/2022 09:23

Congrats on your new job. You can put celebrations on hold until he’s better and you’re on holiday next week.

A birthday party is also a really nice cause for celebration. Tbh, it’s only nice positive things happening for you so try and turn your mood upside down.

No need to disinfect the house either. Covid is airborne not contagious via surfaces

MajorCarolDanvers · 22/04/2022 09:25

Congrats on new job.
Not DH's fault he is unwell.
No need to disinfect the house.

ThreeLittleDots · 22/04/2022 09:51

Covid is airborne not contagious via surfaces

It's both

Theunamedcat · 22/04/2022 09:55

Is he actually that ill? I thought it had got milder?

Maybeitstimeforachange · 22/04/2022 09:57

Theunamedcat · 22/04/2022 09:55

Is he actually that ill? I thought it had got milder?

Ahh that’s right everyone reacts in exactly the same way to it 🙄

Scandishores222 · 22/04/2022 09:59

Theunamedcat if I hear that one more time!! It might be mild for some people but it's obviously not going to be the same for everyone. We have the highest number of covid patients in our local hospital at the moment, hugger than any other time during the pandemic. It's no joke. It's not mild.

Look after your DH is he needs it, the rest can wait. I've got covid at the minute and it's absolutely horrible, if my DH was whinging about how it's effecting him and his plans while I'm struggling to even get out of bed I'd think he was a selfish bastard.

SoupDragon · 22/04/2022 10:02

What do you expect him to do?

miltonj · 22/04/2022 10:03

Doesn't matter if it's mild for her DH or not though, she needs to not catch it as some countries still require testing to get in and she doesn't want to cancel holiday, that's why they're staying away from each other.

Yes all that sucks Op. just gunna have to solider through and then holiday and celebrations can commence!

Theunamedcat · 22/04/2022 10:04

I got it seriously but I have preexisting medical conditions that effect it my point was if he wasn't that ill he could be on facetime or something

It was just a question

Lottie4 · 22/04/2022 10:56

Congratulations on your new job.

It can't be easy, but I'd just be grateful you don't catch it, DC and have their party and you an go away - this comes from one who's DH tested positive four days before we were due to go away. We'd been distancing anyway as we knew he'd had minimal contact (five mins on a doorstep!). I went down with though. Neither of us would have been well enough to travel and hibernate in the accommodation even if we wanted to.

Can DC's part be mainly outside, so you just have to clean the bathroom and maybe wipe door handles?

romany4 · 22/04/2022 11:12

Is he actually that ill? I thought it had got milder?

Maybe for some..
I've just had it for the 2nd time. Was bedridden

NotMrsTumble · 22/04/2022 11:15

You're not being unreasonable to resent having to do all this single-handedly. I get it. It's crap having to do everything while DH isolates, and lonely too. You are being unreasonable if you are directing your irritation at DH. Presumably he is isolating from the rest of the family so he doesn't spread the lurgy to the rest of you and jeopardise your holiday. Unless he deliberately went out to catch covid, it's just bad luck and you need to suck it up, with the goal of getting your holiday to keep you going.

10HailMarys · 22/04/2022 11:50

He's doing exactly the right thing to avoid giving Covid to you and the kids, in advance of a holiday and a children's party. So yes, you are being incredibly unreasonable.

Original poster
Unsure14 · 22/04/2022 12:10

I know he’s doing the right thing by isolating in fact it was me who banished him to the spare room! If it was up to him he would be languishing on the sofa and wandering around getting snacks and paracetamol. Surely it wouldn’t be difficult to acknowledge that I’ve got a lot on as well.

OP posts:
BurnDownTheDiscoHangTheDJ · 22/04/2022 12:12

Milder just means you don’t end up in hospital, its still unpleasant for most people.

ChittyChittyBoomBoom · 22/04/2022 12:13

What’s he asking for to be left? Could you give him a big bottle of drink, snacks and medication to last the day then you only have to drop meals off?

WhackingPhoenix · 22/04/2022 12:39

Unsure14 · 22/04/2022 12:10

I know he’s doing the right thing by isolating in fact it was me who banished him to the spare room! If it was up to him he would be languishing on the sofa and wandering around getting snacks and paracetamol. Surely it wouldn’t be difficult to acknowledge that I’ve got a lot on as well.

But what do you want him to do? He can’t help! Surely you aren’t having the party at home?

MummyBlueSky · 22/04/2022 13:09

Be grateful that he's keeping out of the way. I have covid at the moment, I'm fit, healthy with no underlying conditions and it's been absolutely horrible. Try to avoid it. I hope you can get on your holiday and celebrate.

Topseyt123 · 22/04/2022 13:22

I have Covid at the moment. It isn't too severe but I still feel like shit. It's good that he is keeping away from you as much as possible, although I know it must be very frustrating.

squiller · 22/04/2022 13:25

With an impending birthday and holiday it’s definitely for the best that he stays away from you all, hopefully none of you catch it. It’s a shame he’s so sick with it. I’ve had it twice in 3 months now and both times felt totally fine. Weird how it affects people so differently.

tomatoandherbs · 22/04/2022 13:27

How old are yourDC? What you got planned for the party?

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 22/04/2022 13:35

If you're the one who's banished him to the spare room, maybe he thinks you're happy to just get on with everything without his help or support.

Maybe just talk to him and say some sympathy would be nice, lol.

Sunshineandflipflops · 22/04/2022 13:42

I would have thought he would be testing negative by now, in which case he doesn't need to be isolating and can probably help out a bit.

I am a single parent though and if I am ill, I have to get on with it so I don't really have that much sympathy for those who opt out when unwell.

In fact my dc's dad currently has Covid and they have gone to his still (one has already had Covid twice and the other also currently has it). He isn't well but he is also a parent.

gamerchick · 22/04/2022 13:45

Would he hold the fort while you took to your bed?

Since Monday, I'd be testing him again. He should be over it by now.