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AIBU?

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Original poster

Living at home at 22

50 replies

debreskabyy · 20/04/2022 21:57

My DS is 22 and lives at home after returning to uni. He has a full time job and pays board. All the family has a great relationship with him and I love having him at home.

I just wondered how many people of a similar age live with their parents? I think it’s a lot more common now because of how expensive and hard it is to save for a deposit nowadays.

All of DS’s friends live at home with parents.

OP posts:
ConsuelaHammock · 20/04/2022 22:01

I moved back home after university as did all of my siblings. We only moved out permanently when we got married. My husband lived at home until we got married. He didn’t go to university.

Sunpotter · 20/04/2022 22:02

Is renting a room in a shared house really that much more expensive than board at home, if you're working fulltime?

I do think it's a shame young people now don't seem to be able to enjoy a proper 20s. I lived in some dodgy places but it was fun and the point was being away from my hometown/parents but recognise even a dodgy share may be pricey now!

HollysBush · 20/04/2022 22:02

My two twenty somethings have moved back after uni.

decentchap · 20/04/2022 22:05

Son lives with us but in a cottage in the grounds he's 29. I left home never to return at 17 many kids stay home as its cheaper and less involved than owning your own place.

TracyMosby · 20/04/2022 22:06

I moved back after uni. I then bought my own house. It makes sense to move home if there are jobs in the vicinity.

Emmelina · 20/04/2022 22:07

I moved back home for a few months after university, while my boyfriend (now DH) and I saved for a rent deposit together. It’s not uncommon!

VladmirsPoutine · 20/04/2022 22:10

If you live near a main city in other words, London, Manchester etc then moving home at 22 is really to be expected. I've known some 30-somthings to still be at home and feel no shame about it. Houses no longer cost tuppence and a weekly foodshop can't be covered on bread and water alone. I'd enjoy it if as you say he's a pretty good egg all round. My siblings and I all moved back home after uni as we literally could have otherwise not afforded to save in the cities which we grew up in.

Seafog · 20/04/2022 22:14

DS , 22 , lives with us, pays R&B
We live in the third most expensive city in Canada, with a vacancy rate of 0.5%, and he has autism which for him, means he isn't great with living with strangers .
He is super tidy, pays rent on time, helps around the house including doing his turns cooking and dishes, proactive about doing the litter box/cleaning a mirror/what he sees needs doing.

Rewis · 20/04/2022 22:16

In my experience people move home after uni till they get a job and the move on their income again (or first time). I know its common for working young adults live with their parents but I don't see it around me and it wasn't a thing in my age group (when I was in my 20's a few years ago). But it's locally cultural/are differences.

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 20/04/2022 22:20

If he’s happy and you’re happy let him stay but only if he’s saving for his own place so you know there’s an end in sight.

I’m not a fan of taking rent money off kids if I’m not desperate for it though. I’d rather they used that money to save for their own flat.

BeerLoas · 20/04/2022 22:22

My nephew will be doing this shortly, same circumstances / age. He has a great relationship with his parents and seems happy to do this than any alternative which right now is financially restrictive.

I went to uni and never came back. Had a great time in lots of dodgy and not so dodgy house shares and with BF etc. and that was all part of the experience. In some ways people seem
more sensible now moving home to save, or maybe things were a little cheaper for us. I’m some ways I think it’s nice.

bigbluebus · 20/04/2022 22:23

DS moved back home after Uni whilst looking for jobs. He applied for jobs all over - but mainly in his Uni city and county as well as in this area. He didn't really want to be living here - rural area = boring after living in a city apparently but as he's now started a job here then he'll be staying for now. House shares aren't really a thing around here and rental properties are as rare as hens teeth and get snapped up immediately. He'll just have to save up until he can afford to buy - no doubt with more help from the bank of mum and dad!

EekThreek · 20/04/2022 22:24

If you're happy with the arrangement and you all get on ok, and I ask this kindly, why do you care what others think?

It's really not uncommon, and hasn't been since I left uni 15 years ago. As long as he's using the time/money productively to save for moving out/starting up properly, crack on!

Maydaysoonenough · 20/04/2022 22:25

My ds went to college. Got a full time job in his chosen field at 18. Paid board and saved. Bought a decent house a few weeks off 24. He is still a lovely lad at 27!!

WulyJmpr · 20/04/2022 22:29

I lived with my folks for 6 years after graduating from uni over a decade ago. I was undertaking a professional qualification whilst working full time and I paid them £60 a week.

When I came to move out to live with my boyfriend in another city, quite unexpectedly my parents gave me back all the money I had paid them over the years!

They'd saved it up for me to add to my house deposit savings pot.

I really cherish the memories of living with them and will never forget their kindness of letting me back in the family home when they definitely didn't have to!

5128gap · 20/04/2022 22:34

Sunpotter · 20/04/2022 22:02

Is renting a room in a shared house really that much more expensive than board at home, if you're working fulltime?

I do think it's a shame young people now don't seem to be able to enjoy a proper 20s. I lived in some dodgy places but it was fun and the point was being away from my hometown/parents but recognise even a dodgy share may be pricey now!

Well you don't need to feel too sorry for my 20s DS. He has £1500m disposable income (after board) a new car, a bedroom, home office, bathroom and sitting room for his sole use (I'm not wealthy but there's only the two of us left in the house now, so he can spread out) and comes and goes as he pleases. He has three holidays booked this year and the deposit for a house sitting in the bank. (Though covid restricting his activities did help with the saving, in fairness.) We enjoy each others company, and he loves where we live. All his friends also live at home, it's very normal in our circles, so I don't think there is a 'proper' way to enjoy your 20s.

girlfromtheloch · 20/04/2022 22:34

@EekThreek she’s not asking what other people think, she’s wondering how many people of a similar age live with their parents. She didn’t ask for opinions.

My 21 year old year daughter and her boyfriend life with us whilst they save money until they get on the housing ladder. All of her friends still live with their parents.

WhenTheNightFalls · 20/04/2022 22:35

I know a lot of 20/30 somethings living at home. In this day and age, it's to be expected. Gone are the days of affordable property especially for single people.

FloraPostePosts · 20/04/2022 22:44

I moved home after university, as did most of my peers, and worked locally at the sorts of jobs we’d had before and during university, while we secured our first ‘career’ jobs. Mine took me a bit less than a year, and I was able to save enough for a deposit on my first flat rental in London, have some savings towards living costs, and some suitable clothes! (This was 30 years ago). Then until I was 28 I lived in London, before leaving for a career change, so at that point I bounced back to my folks again for about 18 months - I left again at that point because I’d met now DH and we moved in together. DB similarly bounced back home a couple of times when he moved jobs (has worked abroad and therefore didn’t always have a UK base of his own). My folks always loved having us and told us there was always a home for us with them when we needed it.

If we were starting out now, my parents wouldn’t be able to afford to help us with deposits or anything, but would always give us a rent free home so we could save. We would always contribute with food and treats for all of us, but they would never accept payment for board.

EekThreek · 21/04/2022 08:22

@girlfromtheloch she asked in AIBU which is literally where you ask for opinions...

OP YABU for not using the board properly 😉

BluKorner · 21/04/2022 08:27

I live and grew up in London. Everyone I know who went to university in London or went away but moved back to London lived with parents for a good few years.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 21/04/2022 08:38

I left home at 17 and couldn't get on the property ladder until 29. I hope my DS stays at home to save up for a house. There's nothing fun about living in a shitty room in a shared house, I hated it.

AnchorWHAT · 21/04/2022 12:49

Happy having my son at home aged 26, he went to uni, came back, went travelling, came back and hopes to be off travelling again next year before looking to buy his own place. He pays board and helps around the house, is good company for us and we all get on well.

SiliconHeaven · 21/04/2022 12:56

My son went to university in a northern city when he was 19, he had a year in halls then I was able to buy him a little house. That meant he was able to stay and get a job there without having to come ‘home’ I realise we were lucky but I’m glad it was possible.

Wouldyabeguilty · 21/04/2022 12:56

God I would have thought the vast majority of 22 year olds still live at home these days.

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