Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Living at home at 22

50 replies

debreskabyy · 20/04/2022 21:57

My DS is 22 and lives at home after returning to uni. He has a full time job and pays board. All the family has a great relationship with him and I love having him at home.

I just wondered how many people of a similar age live with their parents? I think it’s a lot more common now because of how expensive and hard it is to save for a deposit nowadays.

All of DS’s friends live at home with parents.

OP posts:

romany4 · 21/04/2022 12:56

I have 2 adult ds.
Eldest left at 17
Youngest left at 19

desiringonlychild2022 · 21/04/2022 13:01

DH and I lived with his mum for three years in our 20s before buying our flat (London). I would say I know very few native londoners who don't live with their parents before buying!
His youngest sister who is 24 lives with MIL and would probably live with MIL until MIL's home is sold to pay for care home fees or something like that.

HomeprideSaucy · 21/04/2022 13:04

Is renting a room in a shared house really that much more expensive than board at home, if you're working fulltime?

Is that a joke? Exactly how much rent & board are you charging your kids?

Onthegrid · 21/04/2022 13:07

I didn't go to uni and stayed at home with my parents until I bought my first house at 25, my siblings did similar. We all paid a nominal amount of board as our parents didn't need the money.
I have 2, 20 somethings now neither live at home. One went to uni and stayed after graduating and rents with friends, it is unlikely they will come back home, however we live in the London commuter belt so it is always a possibility.
The other is back at uni (living away) having spent 2 years working and living at home, graduation is 2 years away still.
My 21 niece still lives at home and is not looking to move out as are plenty of friends kids who have not been to uni. Those that have graduated are about 50/50 split.

desiringonlychild2022 · 21/04/2022 13:16

DH's sister who moved out of the house straight out of university and moved to another country currently rents her apartment for the equivalent of £1000 per month. She is married and now pregnant.

The country she moved to has fairly expensive property prices (on par with London). Even in her relatively cheap area, an apartment is the equivalent of £300k and the property prices are rising at a far stronger rate than in the UK. And the local banks there only give out 75% mortgages, yet it is a home owners' society (most people own rather than rent as rental is precarious), the reason for this is bank of mum and dad is a really big thing there. So she has to raise at least £75k to buy a home in her area in addition to paying £1k rent, running a car (the public transport system is dire in that country) and also baby related costs. I don't think they earn little, but as they work in arts/media, I don't think they are super highly paid at all.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 21/04/2022 13:18

I didn't move out properly until I was 29. It's fine.

Flatandhappy · 21/04/2022 13:24

22yo DS lives at home, he never left as it is very common here (Sydney) for kids to go to Uni in their home city and rents are extortionate. He is part way through a Masters so will be at home for a while yet. He has a part time job and we don’t take money from him in the knowledge that he saves a lot of his earnings (very contentious on MN I know). I would like him to have some money behind him when he does move out and we don’t need it, if we did he would be expected to contribute. He is easy to live with and has a younger sister at home, they get on really well so everyone is happy.

10HailMarys · 21/04/2022 13:30

Totally normal these days.

Even if he could afford a house-share, house-sharing isn't for everyone. Not every 20-something wants to live the way they lived when they were a student, and would rather have a nice place to go back to that doesn't have loads of other people coming and going and pinching your milk and stuff. I'm in my 40s now but when I left university I was pretty clear in my own head that I was never going to share a house again. I practically bankrupted myself renting the world's tiniest studio flat when i was your son's age, rather than house-sharing. I'd probably have lived with my parents for a couple of years if it had been feasible, but my job was too far away from them to make it work.

Wilkolampshade · 21/04/2022 13:31

Yeah, my 22 DD is back with us in similar circumstances. She doesn't pay board but saves 1k + a month instead to add to her savings/deposit. We'll never be able to help substantially with a deposit but can subsidise her practically instead. 🤷‍♀️
She's likely to move out at some point in the next few years so I'm not worried.

BigFatLiar · 21/04/2022 13:33

I stayed at home till I married. OH 'left home' when he got a job down here otherwise he'd have stayed at home with his parents. We both got on well with our parents (and each others). I was treated like an adult and could come and go, of course I let mum/dad know where I was, simply good manners.

miamiaow · 21/04/2022 13:35

I left home at 16 and it was the worst thing I ever did. Too much too young working and paying rent. I’m 42 now and I don’t feel like I ever got the chance to be “young”.

My ds is 20, good job, still at home. I hope he will be for a while longer.

We’ve got a good set up here though, his room is in a ground floor extension, room for a sitting area in it etc. so he’s got privacy away from the younger children and he can come and go as he pleases without disturbing anyone.

34knockonthedoor · 21/04/2022 13:43

DS26 back living with us after house share with friends ended. It's the only way he'll be able to (hopefully) save enough for a deposit to buy somewhere although with house prices now that seems a very long way off.

desiringonlychild2022 · 21/04/2022 14:32

@34knockonthedoor I have been there. It wouldn't take as long as you imagine! I think its easier to do it in your 20s pre kids. Once you have a kid, you have to rent as most families wouldn't have space for 3 people. And children are expensive and its a double whammy in a way- harder to save a deposit and the bank wouldn't lend you as much as they would factor in childcare expenses.

XenoBitch · 21/04/2022 14:36

22 is no age to be living at home. I moved out at 24, but that was because I was moving in with a boyfriend.

Crimblecrumblerules · 21/04/2022 14:58

My daughter and her boyfriend currently living with me aged 23. pay minimal rent which is fine by me, saving hard to get a house deposit. With house prices at almsot £300K for a 2 bed round our area they need all the savings they can get to have any chance of buying a property, and wouldnt be able to save at all with rentals at £1k a month. I enjoy the company, they can stay as long as they like.

desiringonlychild2022 · 21/04/2022 15:29

@XenoBitch you are probably older! Never mind saving for a house, i was reading in the paper about how some young people in Cardiff (not even London) were saying they wouldn't be able to pay bills and rent on their salaries with the cost of living crisis. And you can say the children of all the posters here are also insulating themselves from future inflation/cost of living crisis. I have a much easier time than renters as my mortgage is fixed for a few years. That is an extra £250 per month! And I only bought in 2019, if i had bought earlier, I would have had more years of overpayments to reduce my LTV which would enable my interest rate to be lower and also lower my mortgage payments...

Whatsmyname100 · 21/04/2022 16:20

I moved out at 24, think dh 25. For us culturally, it's about staying home and saving to make better financial decisions. I'm not sure why alot of people see this as a route to dependence and not being an adult. We obviously contributed at home, but the deal was to study and save. So grateful to have had that support, met dh and we rented for only a year and then bought our first place. Felt even more grateful, when I saw friends having to make their way as soon as they turned into 'adults' and really struggle it out.

OnlyTheBravest · 21/04/2022 16:33

DS moved back after uni as all his friends have done. They all have jobs and are saving for house deposits. Most people I know can not afford to give substantial help to their children's house deposits after supporting them through uni but are more than happy for them to remain in the family home until they are financially stable and ready to fly the nest.

nokidshere · 21/04/2022 16:36

My 23yr old is living at home for now after returning from uni. He's a joy to have around, pulls his weight, lives his own life. The cheapest rental in our area is around £600 a month for a studio place or £500 for a shared house. Here He pays a portion towards the utility bills, does a 'big shop' once a month and puts as much of his pay away as possible. He's hoping to move out next year but, as far as I am concerned he can stay as long as he likes.

20yr old finishes uni in May and will come home for a while but then will be off again to do a masters. After that who knows. Given the rising cost of living and poor salaries I'm expecting them to be around for a while. All their friends are either at uni or back living at home.

zingally · 21/04/2022 17:15

I moved back home for a year after uni, worked, and then went back to uni for teacher training. I was moved out for good at 23.
My sister didn't leave home until she was 27. Then she was basically forced out by my parents saying, "we're moving away, and you're not invited!"

Lizziekisss · 21/04/2022 19:38

24 year old living back at home after uni, saving to buy a flat. Rent free as we can afford to help in that way, and can see that he's a saver. (would charge rent to save for him if he was a fritterer). Very few house shares where we are and renting is extortionate. Love having him here but understand he wants his own space too.

Dogsinpajamas · 21/04/2022 20:08

24yr old moved back after uni until settled in their job ( and through lockdown) now living in a share with school friends who all did the same.
21yr old didn’t go to uni, earns minimum wage and won’t be able to afford to move out for a long time.

Middersweekly · 21/04/2022 21:14

I wouldn’t have any issues with DC moving back home again after Uni providing they’re working and contributing to the household.
I think in the current climate many young adults need to stay living with parents to save deposits for their own homes.

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/04/2022 21:15

I think young people should house share for a year or so, rough it a bit.

It can be a good laugh and character forming. It’s not a waste of money, it’s about living as an adult. Also increases job opportunities. lots of young people complain they can’t progress in their career but then don’t want to move out of the area, move beyond their comfort zone so what do they expect?!

Staying at parents nice home and getting too used to creature comforts isn’t a good thing. I think lots of young people’s expectations are too high these days, they think they go from living at parents house to buying somewhere similar on their own or with a partner, which is unrealistic.

Joystir59 · 21/04/2022 21:16

It was always hard and expensive to save for a deposit but I never cared about buying a house when I was 22, I was out there in the world living life.

Flip

1 2