What's so great about having two kids?

[anatomyoftiredness]

There's been lots of threads about having a third child recently.

I would love to have a third but for a number of reasons, and with a very very heavy heart, will be sticking with my two.

Tell me all the reasons why two is the magic number and that I definitely won't be full of regret on my death bed.

I think there arent enough good reasons to have three
And that is a great reason to stick to two

I’ve got two hands.

One for each hand.
Cheaper/ easier for logistics; cars, holidays, admissions, childcare
Reduces age range from oldest to youngest
Fewer years of listening to Kipper, Biff and Chip and signing reading records

I'd have liked 3 at one point and came close to TTC once my beleagured pelvis had had some recovery time, but they were just getting easier and I didn't want to restart and trash my body for another year again. 2 children, no regrets.

If you have a partner, there’s one to one ‘marking’.

Each child has a sibling/friend.

Less guilt about not paying each child enough attention.

No chance of middle child syndrome.

It’s less expensive.

Cars fit two children in the back easily.

Hotel rooms etc can often accommodate two children with no problem.

Easier to get restaurants bookings.

loads more.

In truth, all numbers have their advantages and disadvantages. I am certainly happy with two. Hope you can make peace with your decision OP. x

A third is financial suicide!

I always thought it might be nice to be surrounded by a big brood but my Grandmother warned against it and it stuck with me.

She had three and said although she coped fine with two, three was too many and she felt she just couldn't divide her time enough. That stuck with me. A friend with three has said similar. Also, since having her youngest child, her two elder children have been diagnosed with SEN which makes life harder too.

Having two is much more practical. You can manage two easily when out and about; if there are two parents in the household then there is more opportunity for each child to have 1:1 time; holidays are much easier to book for 4; most standard cars seat 4 more easily than 5; you can afford to pay for more experiences/activities with.

I'm sure there are lots of happy 3-children families but for me two is perfect. They have each other for company but also get more of my attention than if I had more.

More money, more time, less environmental guilt.

I get broody when I see little squishy babies, but really I know I'm done at two. Two hands, two whole LIVES to understand and listen to and retain the important info for (who needs what for school on what day, how do we do the logistics of everyone's extracurricular stuff, play dates etc). Money, tbh, particularly in terms of space - mine will eventually have a bedroom each but if they were three there'd either be endless sharing or me giving up mine, which isn't the end of the world but is quite a big decision to make on their behalf. It'd cost us all our luxuries for several years, no more holidays or days out or takeaway, and again, those things aren't essentials but we do value them.

Also though, the bits of my family with three siblings are all quite dysfunctional - at any given time one is the excluded party. I don't think that's universally true, but it does give me pause (as I suspect it'd be easy to replicate a family pattern). When I am really tempted, the temptation is to have two more rather than to have a third, for this reason.

I do know happy families of three, but I also know we're really well balanced as we are and I worry about messing with that!

The third might be twins. Or triplets.

Oh gosh, I love cuddles where I get my arm round one on one side and the other on the other side - can't do that with a third!
You can fit three in a selfie easily, but 4 is harder. You can divide a treat into halves for them to share. You only have two birthdays to plan for.

And what if the third child is twins?

One of the things that has made me most happy in my life is the relationship between my two children. They wouldn't openly admit it to anyone else but they are best friends, which is pretty amazing since they are an only just 14yo boy and a nearly 17yo girl.

We recently had the possibility of a complex relocation which might have involved me and dd staying put for a year and dh and ds relocating ahead of us. The brief anguished look that passed between ds and dd when we mentioned that possibility brought tears to my eyes (and I'm quite a hard nut!). I couldn't imagine them having quite that bond if there were a 3rd sibling in the mix.

Time, money, energy, sleep.

The baby and full-time-childcare years are over sooner.

You don't need to get an extra-large car (as average size cars can't fit more than 2 child seats in the back) on an extra-large house.

Things are generally geared around families of 4, so sad to say it's helpful for holidays, activities etc.

In an ideal world I think I'd have had 3 as well, as I'm youngest of 3 and liked being part of a family of 3 kids but I couldn't face more time paying for childcare, or the bigger house and car thing! Youngest is 10 now and I have no regrets whatsoever about not having another, in fact if anything I'm glad I didn't. Not because my kids aren't wonderful but we feel very complete as we are.

Man marking (assuming you have a partner, but failing that you at least have two hands).

You have a decent amount of time and energy for each child, balanced with the fact they have a sibling.

You have less chance of getting fed up with parenting before you are done

you have more chance of maintaining a life

you have more chance of keeping up a career and decent earning power

the world is geared to families of 4 - cars, family tickets etc

the planet

You can divide & conquer so each child gets some one on one time with a parent; it’s also easier for one parent to take them both for a day/weekend/evening so you can get some solo time.

everything’s not all about the kids, you’ve got time for yourself as well.

easier logistically and financially, you’re not going to need a gigantic car or bunk beds.

What I love about having 2 is that I can give them both loads of my time and attention. I get to have lots of quality time with each child. It's great. I think the more you have the harder that becomes.

I have 3, all under 5 and the lack of hands/lap space is becoming a problem. I’m considering those extendable dog leads once the youngest starts walking.

Car seats are a really tricky to fit in 1 car, we needed a new car. Hotel rooms in the future will be difficult as most are set up for a family of 4, as are most things really. I spend a ridiculous amount of time each day picking up, washing and putting away clothes. And when one gets ill, all 3 get it. Sickness bugs are my worst nightmare. It’s harder with 3 to just go out and leave the other parent with them all, especially when they’re young and still needing naps.

The third might be twins. Or triplets.
this is the best reason. I didn’t even think of it, then got pregnant and realised 2 people I know had twins on a third ‘go’ and spent 12 weeks really anxious that if it was twins I wouldn’t cope.

You're not outnumbered, many benefits to that.
Normal sized cars
Cheaper

My gran always said never to have an odd number of children as one will always be left out at any given time. (She had three.)

Plus, the planet.

Holidays are mostly 2 adults and 2 kids. A third kid makes holidays extra expensive.

I totally need this thread too! Am 38 with a 7 and 4 year old and have been broody for about 6 months despite having always thought I would only have 2 DC. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to have a third though - life is pretty busy already with primary aged DC and their activities combined with a full time job. I also find it weird that I can simultaneously be broody but also a little bit bored of some aspects of parenting, eg patiently listening to my DC tell me in detail all about Minecraft or whatever their current favourite interest is.

One of the reasons I always thought I would only have two is because I am the youngest of four, and just remember my mum working full time and being very busy doing all the domestic chores and never sitting down. I loved having siblings and the busyness of the house when I was a younger child, but then once I was in secondary school the two oldest siblings (5 and 7 years older) left for university and my parents divorced. The house became very quiet and my mum was too tired or parenting or too depressed to spend much quality time with me and my sibling.

I know at least 3 families where baby number 3 was twins. Enough said I think.

I have three and that seems to me now to be the perfect number,although at one time two was the ideal. The truth is that however many you have, you come to see that number as just right.

With 2, you can still have 2 working parents coping. Once it becomes 3, the logistics because much more difficult. Without childcare on tap or a large age gap, one parent may have to give up work or take on a very pt or non-job.

2 > 3 tips the logistics balance for 2 working parents.

Two children can be friends - there's not much choice! With three one can be left out.
I'm one of 4 and it was an absolute riot - we got away with loads as teenager as there was always someone else to deflect attention. It wasn't particularly healthy though.