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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel the summer hols

62 replies

Namechangestimes100 · 20/04/2022 13:52

need some outside perspectives on what you’d do. DH and I keep flip flopping.

2 dcs, one 6 months and one nearly 3. DH and I haven’t left the country since 2018 due to pregnancy and lockdown etc. Truthfully, it’s been a real shit show of a couple of years, lockdown with a newborn was hard (severe pnd), several close relatives (DF on my side and a few other auntys on DH side) so a real shit. When Dh secured a lovely new job (nice pay rise) we said ok, let’s go on hols, nothing too fancy drive to France do self catering, but a break, I know hols with little kids aren’t ever too relaxing but we want(ed) to treat them for the feel good factor. We calculated it would be about £2k. We’ve put a £100 deposit down for the cottage.

here’s the snag, my pay is about to go to Smp and whilst I’ve saved for this, basically from the start of my mat leave there have been expenses that ate our savings, dc1 had nearly £1k worth of private medical bills (long story short GP ran lots of erroneous tests because she had blood in her stool once and then practice nurse advised that all signs point of something sinister like bowl cancer and then they refused to write referral letters to paeds and lost them, going out of our minds we paid to go private- another reason to need a break). We need units put in our main bathroom as we’ve just got some Argos / ikea freestanding ones that aren’t ideal for kids, DD needs a new bed, we need to convert the spare room into a spare room/ study so need to get new desks and a day bed, ideally we need to do the garden too but as it’s functional that can wait and then obviously the huge and hideous rise in the cost of living.

we now keep flip flopping, we’ve been at work for 4 years straight (mat leave and work in my case) without a break or holiday and in many senses t to look forward too, we’ve had a shitty time of it and the kids would love it so we know we ‘need’ a break, but then there’s the other expenses and the fact you can only spend it once.

wwyd? Cancel or go?

OP posts:
anon2022anon · 20/04/2022 19:06

Well, given you've shot down every idea on here that isn't 'go on holiday', I'd stop asking for alternatives and instead ask- what can I do to help us afford this holiday in a few months 😂

BungleandGeorge · 20/04/2022 19:48

anon2022anon · 20/04/2022 19:06

Well, given you've shot down every idea on here that isn't 'go on holiday', I'd stop asking for alternatives and instead ask- what can I do to help us afford this holiday in a few months 😂

Agree 🤣
you could easily get a cottage for a lot less than 1k a week on the south coast and much shorter travel than heading all the way into Cornwall. But you’ve set your heart on France so go. It would be the journey that put me off but all kids are different if you’re are good travellers why not go. Not the end of the world to keep your bathroom as it is, I’d rather a holiday than built in units

Namechangestimes100 · 20/04/2022 20:01

BungleandGeorge · 20/04/2022 19:48

Agree 🤣
you could easily get a cottage for a lot less than 1k a week on the south coast and much shorter travel than heading all the way into Cornwall. But you’ve set your heart on France so go. It would be the journey that put me off but all kids are different if you’re are good travellers why not go. Not the end of the world to keep your bathroom as it is, I’d rather a holiday than built in units

im open to alternate hols but truthfully I’ve never been a fan of UK holidays, always find them over priced and the weather unpredictable.

I read a few MN posts and the overall opinion was going kids, avoid hotels and do euro camps
or centre parks. I wasn’t sure how transfers would work either re car seat safety. All inclusive initially seemed a dream as the kids can be fussy as they want and there’s always an option. I’m searching tui as we speak.

OP posts:
Solmum1964 · 20/04/2022 20:45

@Namechangestimes100 You earn Tesco vouchers when you have a Clubcard and earn points for every £1 spent in store. These are converted quarterly to vouchers you can spend in store or for 3x their value with 'Rewards' partners.We've had Tesco Bank Accounts over the years that have given us double points on our spending and used the vouchers for days and meals out, jewellery from Goldsmiths, Denby china and Eurotunnel tickets.
I agree self catering works well with young children and we've always had a lovely time in France.

Overthebow · 20/04/2022 21:00

The question is can you easily afford it? Do you have a savings buffer?

If yes then go for it and don't worry about it. If not then there's no way you should be spending £2k on a holiday, no matter how much you think you need it.

MaryShelley1818 · 20/04/2022 21:08

Absolutely still go on holiday, life is short, your plans sound amazing and you'll have an incredible time.
With the right mindset holidays with young children are amazing, full of wonder and adventures, I've travelled extensively all across the world but nothing beats seeing my kids discover warm sand or the sea for the first time, or their first ride, late nights with ice cream and trying new food.

We're driving to Disneyland Paris in 3wks with DS (4) and DD (15mths). Driving from the North East so a huge drive too! It will be DS's THIRD visit and he remembers absolutely everything about his other trips (at 18mths and 24mths). He remembers the characters, the rides, the fireworks, the food, everything....he's talked about it non stop for 2yrs and can't wait to go back. He's already planning his rides order and snacks to try. DD won't know any characters but I'm sure will love the music, parades, rides and food! We'll have 5 days there though, in reality you need an absolute minimum of 2 days or you'll miss a huge amount.

Other holidays are great too though, we've also done Majorca and Menorca when they were babies and loved them. Plus caravan/CenterParcs/weekend breaks in the UK. We've got Salou and Barcelona booked for summer.

Only think I'll say is that on coaches children travel on either their own seat or on your lap. Same as any public transport in this country. I've never known anyone not hiring a car take a car seat on holiday, it's just completely impractical and definitely not safe to try and use on a bus/coach.

Namechangestimes100 · 20/04/2022 22:09

Overthebow · 20/04/2022 21:00

The question is can you easily afford it? Do you have a savings buffer?

If yes then go for it and don't worry about it. If not then there's no way you should be spending £2k on a holiday, no matter how much you think you need it.

What would you consider a good buffer @Overthebow ?

we definitely have savings, but then we’re actively saving for a few things (i started invasilgn a while ago, and im paying for it bit by bit, our HTB etc) but together I’d say we have £25k. But I’m one of them, when it’s in savings- it hurts to take it out again lol

OP posts:
Keepitonthedownlow · 20/04/2022 22:19

You have £25k in savings and you're worried about a holiday and bed????

Keepitonthedownlow · 20/04/2022 22:21

This site gives me the rage sometimes

Namechangestimes100 · 20/04/2022 22:23

Keepitonthedownlow · 20/04/2022 22:19

You have £25k in savings and you're worried about a holiday and bed????

But I also have a 50k equity loan to pay back ;) and 6k of dental work, need to get a new car and the other expenses I listed in the OP

OP posts:
HelloDoris · 20/04/2022 22:41

We've booked a week in Belgium (in centre parcs crappier sibling)including ferry and a day trip to a Dutch theme park for just over £1200, to go in August. We couldn't find anything cheaper in the UK, that comes close to what we have booked.

I'd go, enjoy it, you can always save money on things when you're there. Life is too short for what ifs. Scour gumtree/eBay/FB marketplace for furniture to save cash!

GnomeDePlume · 21/04/2022 20:46

We have been driving to France on holiday since DCs were tiny. In fact our first family holiday was when oldest DD was just starting walk and we took our own tent.

The holidays with the DCs are a continuation of something started by DH's parents who were driving down to Spain in the late 1960s.

Our DCs are now grown up but still love looking at the photos of the holidays we took.

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