To cancel the summer hols

[Namechangestimes100]

need some outside perspectives on what you’d do. DH and I keep flip flopping.

2 dcs, one 6 months and one nearly 3. DH and I haven’t left the country since 2018 due to pregnancy and lockdown etc. Truthfully, it’s been a real shit show of a couple of years, lockdown with a newborn was hard (severe pnd), several close relatives (DF on my side and a few other auntys on DH side) so a real shit. When Dh secured a lovely new job (nice pay rise) we said ok, let’s go on hols, nothing too fancy drive to France do self catering, but a break, I know hols with little kids aren’t ever too relaxing but we want(ed) to treat them for the feel good factor. We calculated it would be about £2k. We’ve put a £100 deposit down for the cottage.

here’s the snag, my pay is about to go to Smp and whilst I’ve saved for this, basically from the start of my mat leave there have been expenses that ate our savings, dc1 had nearly £1k worth of private medical bills (long story short GP ran lots of erroneous tests because she had blood in her stool once and then practice nurse advised that all signs point of something sinister like bowl cancer and then they refused to write referral letters to paeds and lost them, going out of our minds we paid to go private- another reason to need a break). We need units put in our main bathroom as we’ve just got some Argos / ikea freestanding ones that aren’t ideal for kids, DD needs a new bed, we need to convert the spare room into a spare room/ study so need to get new desks and a day bed, ideally we need to do the garden too but as it’s functional that can wait and then obviously the huge and hideous rise in the cost of living.

we now keep flip flopping, we’ve been at work for 4 years straight (mat leave and work in my case) without a break or holiday and in many senses t to look forward too, we’ve had a shitty time of it and the kids would love it so we know we ‘need’ a break, but then there’s the other expenses and the fact you can only spend it once.

wwyd? Cancel or go?

We started going to France for holidays fairly regularly when the children were small. The weather always seemed to be better and therefore the overall cost was less because we weren't constantly paying for indoor entertainment. I would recommend taking the Eurotunnel if you can. One trip with a seasick child put us off ferries. If you have Tesco vouchers you can use them towards the cost which makes a big difference.

I'd go. There will always be things for the house you want or need to spend money on, but if you can afford it, time away as a family is worth its weight in gold IMHO. It's never really a break if you stay at home and do days out because you can still see all the stuff which needs doing.

We always drive to France and self cater because it's easier just to chuck everything in the car. How much of the 2k cost is the cottage itself? Could you drop down to 1 week if you're currently going for 2? Or look at trying to cut down on the extra costs which are not just the cottage hire?

I wouldn’t spend £2k on a self catering holiday to a cottage, I paid less than that for 3 of us to fly to Australia and back in 2019 (appreciate flight prices have gone up since then but even still). Plus that drive with 2 young ones sounds like hell, it’s a pretty long slog of a journey.

You could easily get a nice all inclusive holiday somewhere for that kind of money. Or if you’re looking for something cheaper, we’re going to haven in June for £216 for the week which is the complete other end of the scale (all we can afford this year as I’m on maternity leave again, oops). I personally think having a shop around for something more young family friendly would be a better solution imho

I'd go. I prioritise holidays above almost anything else, they set you up for the year.

I have just come back from a holiday. Before I went I was close to cancelling as, like you, I felt the money would be better spent elsewhere. Now I am so glad we went. It was so nice to be elsewhere for a change! My kitchen is falling apart but I am glad we decided on a holiday instead!

Also depending on when you are going, you could probably get something a lot cheaper - like a mobile home on a campsite. There are some really nice ones that don[t cost much out of school holidays.

Go! Life is short, the bathroom units will wait! A self-catering break in France sounds like bliss tbh. The fact you have good memories of your dad makes it a no-brainer for me.

2k is everything all in, petrol, cottage, theme park tickets (you can guess where we’re heading haha) money, eurotunnel ticket, euro tunnel etc. Cottage itself is £850/900 inc tourist tax for 7 nights 8 days :)

Oh god yeah me and boats are sworn enemies 😅

im a lidl gal, how does one get tesco vouchers? (Dumb question of the year I imagine)

How old are your kids? I would save money by not going to EuroDisney TBH (assuming that's what you mean). We took DD2 when she was 4 and she was too small for it really.

I'd just get the cottage, buy a cheap paddling pool in Intermarche, chill out a bit, wander round a few towns and get coffee and ice creams, or share a menu du jour for lunch [wistful]....

I would go. We have always driven on holiday. Take regular breaks (our rule is to swap drivers after no more than 2 hours sitting at the wheel). Get DCs out of the car to take a breather. Eurotunnel to Disneyland Paris is only a 3 hour drive so depending on where you are staying you will not be more than 4 hours.

We always found SC a lot easier as we could feed the DCs food they would eat at a time they would eat. France will probably be warmer than Britain but only as far south as Paris will likely not be unmanageably warmer.

My parents always found reasons to not go on holiday. There was always something else to spend money on. The real reason we didnt go was that DF didnt like holidays.

DH's parents were the sort to throw a rug over a hole in the carpet and go on holiday.

Similar incomes just completely different attitudes.

Go, there will always be shit to do and buy in your home.

We’re off to Ottawa in the summer, its been booked two years, when it comes round we’ll be on month 8 of adoption leave so money will be a bit tight as for us its unpaid. I could go on my own and get a refund on the rest, but we’re very unlikely to go to Canada again, so we thought sod it, we’d rather be tight on funds for a few months and keep the holiday.

I can’t see how it possibly takes as long to drive to the south coast as it does to drive to the coast, get over the water and then drive into France? It doesn’t cost anywhere near 2k to get a cottage rental in the UK either. But if you really want to go to France then don’t cancel. Personally I don’t think holidays with kids of that age are really much of a holiday, especially with a long journey. I’d put it off for a couple of years and do a more local break this year.

Will be 3 (nearly)and 6 months. We’d only do a day there and I’ve found tickets for £60 each (kids under 3 are free). Also there’s some nostalgia here too, i went for the first time with my dad at the 5th anniversary and we’d always planned to go again DGP, DH, dcs and I but, guess it wasn’t meant to be, but this year is the 30th anniversary. She likes trains and cars (both the movie and driving little ones) so she‘ll go on a few rides at least

The kids are too young to notice/remember anything Disney.

I'd cancel and have a day at the zoo or a safari park, a trip to the seaside (overnight in a travelodge/premier inn), camping in the garden would be lovely for your toddler.
Spend the money on your home and save the "bigger" holiday for when they're both old enough to recognise Mickey Mouse.

To get to Cornwall is at least 4 hrs from us, it’s about 3.30 to Folkestone where we’d stay the night before the euro tunnel and then another 3.5 from Calais to Paris, we’d stop in Amiens.

2k is all in. I went to Cornwall 2 bed flat in summer 2018, went with a friend couple and it was £1300 for the week, then days out and stuff, and that was just the apartment, nice but not lap of luxury, no pool or amenities just the pure accommodation. Plus in truth I’m desperate to get out of the UK

Baby doesn’t know mickey from a lab rat right now but DD knows Minnie Mouse, she puts her to bed every night. Those tickets aren’t especially expensive so that doesn’t bother me too, much it’s about £120 for DH and I for a day

At 2 and 6 months they're not going to know, or remember where they are. We didn't take them abroad until about 6/7, mostly because we couldn't afford to.
I'd go somewhere cheaper in this country.

Is this a thing? What’s up with France?

How much are you budgeting for the furniture?

Personally, I'd go, and either get furniture second hand as cheap as possible, or leave it longer to make those changes. I think a holiday can do wonders when you've been through a hard time, I'd prioriser it over boring house improvements unless they were completely unavoidable.

I think you WANT to go. Deep down. And I think you should. This isnt just a holiday, it's also about recapturing important memories of your dad, and feeling close to him in some way after a really rough few years.

We always SC with our kids, I find it a million times easier to have the flexibility to eat, nap, scream/shout, wash laundry if needed, and space to run around rather than be squashed a tiny hotel room.

It's hard work whatever you do with kids, and often doesnt feel like a proper holiday like in the old days if you have to compromise around a tired grumpy baby. But I have fond memories of travelling with both my babies and feeling like superwoman because I pulled off the journey without too many meltdowns occurring.

To me it sounds like fun so I'd say yes go for it

Well DDs bed, initially I was thinking just get her a single bed but she still is in her cot because she tosses and turns so much shed be on the floor so I’m thinking get a toddler bed, but that’s £200 tops- Ikea job really.

we’ve already got the desks (ugly as sin and could do with upgrading) but it’s just getting rid of the double bed and some of the ikea furniture (drawers and bedside table) and getting a pull out day bed (also ikea).

super outing but we’ve got oak malm in there right now and I’m thinking do I get the hemnes white day bed and replace everything (I can do it slowly and second hand) or do I keep the oak effect and get there’s a black metal pull out day bed from Ikea and make the room being, black and white sort of Scandinavian style

You are right, I do really want to go somewhere at least!

we saw a deal on tui in Turkey for £1500 all inc which looks lovely but I’m conscious of the heat in June, 30 degrees

Oh my apologies!!! I was reading it like £2k for just the cottage is robbery 😂

Just my opinion but I think a decent all inclusive with kids activities (decent pools, some have slides, good evening entertainment) would be less stressful. No worrying about cooking as you can either eat at the hotel or go out if you fancy, rooms cleaned every day, can choose to have a pool day or go and explore or do excursions, transfers are sorted and travel time will still likely be less overall if you went anywhere within a 4 hour radius. But I appreciate different people like different holidays and many loathe all inclusives package deal holidays! Either that or a cheap and cheerful UK holiday. You can get really good deals on Euro Disney if you go out of season (Jan-March time) and I’d be tempted to wait until they’re older and make a proper break of it, you won’t get to see hardly anything only going for a day in the summer as it will be RAMMED. Yeah

Furniture wise raid Facebook marketplace as much as you can and get some flat pack bits from Argos or ikea if needed.

hope you have a lovely time regardless of what you decide to do! I feel your sentiment of wanting to get out the country, I’m gagging to go abroad!!