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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who should pay?

83 replies

ExcitedRabbit · 20/04/2022 12:54

Week before last I gave a friend who doesn’t drive a lift to his office. Office is in the same town as mine but I don’t ever drive into town as my office is on an industrial estate on the outskirts. This means I didn’t know where this office was and my friend was giving me directions. His directions sent me up a bus lane and I have just received a fixed penalty notice.

To be clear I’m probably just going to pay the fine myself and keep quiet about it because 1) I can afford the fine 2) I make more money than said friend and 3) ultimately I was the one driving so I am responsible for where my car goes.

I think friend would probably insist on paying if I mentioned it so not really an AIBU but interested in consensus of opinion re: who should pay?

Mostly just annoyed I was doing someone a favour and now it is costing me 💷🙄

OP posts:
Indicatrice · 20/04/2022 12:55

Morally, he should pay as he sent you up the lane.

Don't keep quiet, tell him.

SerendipitySunshine · 20/04/2022 12:55

If he doesn't drive he wouldn't know it's a bus lane.

GretaGip · 20/04/2022 12:55

How does the vote work on your question, please?

And obviously you should pay.

Allegra82 · 20/04/2022 12:56

You should pay. Irrespective of directions, it’s your responsibility as the driver to follow road rules

Rory1234 · 20/04/2022 12:56

Unfortunately you should - it’s tricky to follow directions in an unfamiliar area but as the driver it’s your responsibility not to drive in bus lanes.

Is bad luck though!

mrsm43s · 20/04/2022 12:57

You, as you're the driver. No-one else is responsible for your driving errors, even if giving directions. You should have recognised it was a bus lane, and declined to drive down it. Would you have driven through a red traffic light if your passenger had said "carry on straight ahead" when giving directions?

MrsSkylerWhite · 20/04/2022 12:57

50/50?

he sent you there but as a driver you should have recognised a bus Lane.

Mindymomo · 20/04/2022 12:58

I would mention it to friend and see if they offer to pay all of it or something towards it, I would.

pinkstripeycat · 20/04/2022 12:59

He can’t “send” you up a bus lane.
You are the driver. If you are looking far enough ahead you’d have seen the bus lane way in advance and said no I can’t go that way, it’s a bus lane.
Bus lanes are clearly marked with lots of huge signs, massive BUS writing on the floor.

AlexaShutUp · 20/04/2022 13:00

You. You were driving, so you were responsible.

AHungryCaterpillar · 20/04/2022 13:00

I think YABU..when I use to go out with my sister she use to park in places she wasn’t suppose to, then get a ticket and expect the rest of us to pay it Hmm

Blossomtoes · 20/04/2022 13:04

If I were misguided enough to drive in a bus Lane I’d expect to pay the fine.

TokyoSushi · 20/04/2022 13:04

If he doesn't drive, he likely wouldn't know. As the driver, you should know, so you should pay.

No good deed goes unpunished!

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 20/04/2022 13:05

If you were saying that he should pay, it would be YABU, but since you are planning to pay the fine, YANBU.

Moochio · 20/04/2022 13:10

You should pay. How did you not notice it was a bus lane?! Should you be driving?

Moochio · 20/04/2022 13:11

pinkstripeycat · 20/04/2022 12:59

He can’t “send” you up a bus lane.
You are the driver. If you are looking far enough ahead you’d have seen the bus lane way in advance and said no I can’t go that way, it’s a bus lane.
Bus lanes are clearly marked with lots of huge signs, massive BUS writing on the floor.

Exactly, you as driver should be fully aware of where you are driving.

PlanBea · 20/04/2022 13:13

I think you should pay it, and after the fact let him know so he doesn't send anyone else giving him a lift down the bus lane - but in a "it's already paid, don't worry about it. Just so you know!" way

ZerotwoZero · 20/04/2022 13:14

You would not be in the area if it was not for him, and yes you were driving but following his instruction.
I would send him a message or mention to him that your are just annoyed you got a ticket with the cost. If he is a good sort I would expect him to offer full or part payment.

If he just says oh well, don't offer a lift in the future and take it for what it is.

PlasticineMeg · 20/04/2022 13:15

It’s still up to you to drive legally and safely, just because he says to go in a bus lane it doesn’t mean you have to if you know no cars are allowed

galacticpixels · 20/04/2022 13:15

You should pay. Regardless of what a passenger tells you to do, you as the driver are responsible for following the rules of the road.

Moochio · 20/04/2022 13:16

ZerotwoZero · 20/04/2022 13:14

You would not be in the area if it was not for him, and yes you were driving but following his instruction.
I would send him a message or mention to him that your are just annoyed you got a ticket with the cost. If he is a good sort I would expect him to offer full or part payment.

If he just says oh well, don't offer a lift in the future and take it for what it is.

So if he sent OP up the wrong motorway slip road and she ended up going the wrong way on the motorway would that be OK? No, OP is in charge of her own vehicle.

EL8888 · 20/04/2022 13:36

You need to pay, as you were driving the car. You didn’t have to drive up the bus Lane. Non-drivers are the worst for giving drivers directions

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 20/04/2022 13:39

If he'd told you to drive on the pavement, or down the wrong side of the road, or off a cliff, would you? Of course not. You drove into the bus lane, he didn't make you.

FallopianTubeTrain · 20/04/2022 13:39

ultimately I was the one driving so I am responsible for where my car goes.

I think this sums it up I'm afraid. Doesn't make it any less annoying though.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 20/04/2022 13:39

It's your responsibility as the driver to make sure you're following the rules of the road, so you should pay.

You wouldn't turn into a one-way street because a non-driver told you to, and this is no different. Passengers who don't drive can't be expected to know all the rules of the road, but as the driver, you should be paying attention and not just blindly following someone else's directions.