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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How to deal with rude staff like today

41 replies

Fjdowkrialkakvk · 19/04/2022 19:37

As an agency worker I go around different places, today was my first time in a new nursing home.

I was on with 2 permanent staff, 2 ladies who were around late 50s. This shouldn't be relevant but I think it was, for starters they seemed to speak to me and treat me as if I were a very young girl.

I am 31 but get mistaken for younger, and I think sometimes in new places I can be a bit shy which doesn't help.

I overheard the main rude one saying that they would be able to 'take advantage of' agency staff, which instantly lowered my confidence level.

There were one or two occasions where they were polite and asked if i was ok etc. But I sometimes felt like more of a hindrance than a help.

It is hard when you're new and you don't know where things go etc., I tried to use my initiative as well as ask questions. I was asked for a particular breakfast by a resident, I didn't know if they had it in stock so I asked one of these staff members. She basically replied with a sense of, can't you see I'm busy right now. All i did was ask if they had it available for her.

I felt that they thought I was completely incompetent as at one point I was told "You need to wash that spoon now as you've put it in X cup" and I was thinking..well thanks for stating the obvious?

Then i saw them both looking at me at one point and whispered 'look how she's doing that". I asked if everything was ok, they asked me if I was going to do X, again, something very obvious.

I was doing a kitchen job and at one point one of them came in and just took over from me without saying anything, so i just let her do it and walked away.
I had hopefully done it properly, i assume they would have told me if not.
Then I overheard her effing and blinding to the other colleague saying that she would 'fking do it herself next time, Jesus Christ, etc".

I went and checked what i had done but couldn't see any mistake.

Later on i heard the same one whisper something when I dropped my phone then the other laughed.

I was so done, said bye only to the manager, neither of the two floor staff said thanks or bye or anything.

I've only been agency for a couple of weeks and fortunately this is the first poor experience I've had.
I'm so rubbish dealing with it though. What would you have done in that situation? I just end up being quiet. The good thing is that I don't ever have to go there again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fjdowkrialkakvk · 19/04/2022 19:41

I've had positive feedback from other care homes and told that I worked hard etc. So I hope it was just a bad day
However I have found staff in other homes much friendlier, felt like i had zero confidence with those two today

OP posts:
ButterSageSpaghetti · 19/04/2022 19:51

Sorry you had to deal with fuckwits, OP.

Personally, I would feedback to the agency, with some of the examples you have given here.

Original poster
Fjdowkrialkakvk · 19/04/2022 19:54

Getting a few YABUs so would be interested to hear the feedback?
Yes you're right I should tell them. I'll likely just not go back to that home, praying it doesn't happen anywhere else as I've had 3 genuinely lovely shifts before this

OP posts:
ButterSageSpaghetti · 19/04/2022 19:57

You sound lovely and a hard worker, OP, so keep the faith.

Even if you did a crap job, which doesn't sound likely at all, their response was immature, bitchy and unprofessional. No-one should ever make any staff member, agency or not, uncomfortable at work.

They need the feedback. You deserve to be treated with respect at work.

They'll find themselves with no-one willing to work there if they carry on like that!

Moochio · 19/04/2022 19:57

I'd tell the agency why you won't be going back there

reallypuzzledoverthis · 19/04/2022 19:57

Ask your agency not to send you there again and tell them why. I can understand that numerous agency staff can be frustrating but they were just horrible and rude when you are there to help them out.
Just remember that they have to live being miserable everyday, you don't :)

MissyB1 · 19/04/2022 19:59

I would feedback, tell the agency you won’t go back there and why. Ask them to feed it back to the home.

PinkiOcelot · 19/04/2022 19:59

YADNBU OP. Would love to hear the reasoning of the 33% who say you are. There’s no need to treat people like that at all. You definitely need to speak to the agency and this could be communicated to the home if/when they require agency staff.

Original poster
Fjdowkrialkakvk · 19/04/2022 20:00

Thanks very much, I feel a lot better reading these replies.
I do understand that they get a lot of agency staff and that it's boring having to explain things again and again but agree they were very rude.

OP posts:
MissyB1 · 19/04/2022 20:00

And I don’t think you could have done anything different. Nasty idiots are nasty idiots, they are pathetic.

Original poster
Fjdowkrialkakvk · 19/04/2022 20:00

I'm nervous about telling the agency as i don't want to seem like some sort of troublemaker

OP posts:
Cauliflowersqueeze · 19/04/2022 20:00

I would have sidled over at the end and said “Thanks ladies it’s been very enlightening here. I am actually undercover and working for head office. I’ll update them with my feedback tomorrow and you should be updated in due course”. Then widen my eyes, give a tight smile and walk out.

Staffy1 · 19/04/2022 20:02

Oh, how horrible. I think I would have been the same as you at your age, but being older now, even reading this makes my blood boil, I would have to say something to them, like “Is there is problem?” and they would have got a death stare at the very least for laughing at the dropped phone.

Original poster
Fjdowkrialkakvk · 19/04/2022 20:02

Ha, that would have been amazing Grin

OP posts:
Staffy1 · 19/04/2022 20:02

@Cauliflowersqueeze

I would have sidled over at the end and said “Thanks ladies it’s been very enlightening here. I am actually undercover and working for head office. I’ll update them with my feedback tomorrow and you should be updated in due course”. Then widen my eyes, give a tight smile and walk out.
Brilliant!
Original poster
Fjdowkrialkakvk · 19/04/2022 20:02

I heard them at the end of the shift talking with another older carer and one said 'I say it like it is, don't care who i upset'. That said it all really

OP posts:
Cauliflowersqueeze · 19/04/2022 20:03

I actually think it’s important in that role that you do tell the agency. They are carers. If they are rude to you they will be rude to elderly residents. It’s not like you’re complaining all the time - as you said the other places have been really nice. The residents in those care homes deserve to be looked after by pleasant people.

Moochio · 19/04/2022 20:03

@Cauliflowersqueeze

I would have sidled over at the end and said “Thanks ladies it’s been very enlightening here. I am actually undercover and working for head office. I’ll update them with my feedback tomorrow and you should be updated in due course”. Then widen my eyes, give a tight smile and walk out.
Hahaha! Brilliant
Original poster
Fjdowkrialkakvk · 19/04/2022 20:06

All day it was, no that doesn't go there, no that doesn't go like that, no you don't do that like that, no that's not right.

OP posts:
Lem0nDrizzle · 19/04/2022 20:14

I'm sorry op.

I agree to tell the agency.

Some people just hate new staff tbh, mind boggles I know but you done everything you were supposed, had great feedback from others, it's them.

Are you there tomorrow?

Cauliflowersqueeze · 19/04/2022 20:14

They’re dicks. No wonder they’re short staffed. Be thankful you’re not working there permanently.

Feilin · 19/04/2022 20:17

Sounds like you were working with a "clique" . Keep your chin up youve done nothing wrong except forgetting to read their minds...

Speakuptomakeyourselfheard · 19/04/2022 20:20

As others have said OP you really do need to tell the agency how you were treated, and tell them that because of that you won't be going back there again. This sort of childish, bullying behaviour is unacceptable in the work place, you'd think they'd be grateful to have the extra help, not make life difficult for you. I also can't help thinking that if they're like that with you, how do they treat the people in their care if they get on their nerves, which is extremely worrying. Please report this, it's important.

Original poster
Fjdowkrialkakvk · 19/04/2022 20:20

I'm not there again thank goodness.
I find care homes (and nurseries) can be very cliquey sadly. I'm not really a clique person.
I will phone the agency Tomorrow.
Very very grateful I'm not permanent there

OP posts:
Original poster
Fjdowkrialkakvk · 19/04/2022 20:22

Bullying is rife in many workplaces yet it's totally unacceptable. Some people have never moved on from school clearly

OP posts:
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