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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How to deal with rude staff like today

41 replies

Fjdowkrialkakvk · 19/04/2022 19:37

As an agency worker I go around different places, today was my first time in a new nursing home.

I was on with 2 permanent staff, 2 ladies who were around late 50s. This shouldn't be relevant but I think it was, for starters they seemed to speak to me and treat me as if I were a very young girl.

I am 31 but get mistaken for younger, and I think sometimes in new places I can be a bit shy which doesn't help.

I overheard the main rude one saying that they would be able to 'take advantage of' agency staff, which instantly lowered my confidence level.

There were one or two occasions where they were polite and asked if i was ok etc. But I sometimes felt like more of a hindrance than a help.

It is hard when you're new and you don't know where things go etc., I tried to use my initiative as well as ask questions. I was asked for a particular breakfast by a resident, I didn't know if they had it in stock so I asked one of these staff members. She basically replied with a sense of, can't you see I'm busy right now. All i did was ask if they had it available for her.

I felt that they thought I was completely incompetent as at one point I was told "You need to wash that spoon now as you've put it in X cup" and I was thinking..well thanks for stating the obvious?

Then i saw them both looking at me at one point and whispered 'look how she's doing that". I asked if everything was ok, they asked me if I was going to do X, again, something very obvious.

I was doing a kitchen job and at one point one of them came in and just took over from me without saying anything, so i just let her do it and walked away.
I had hopefully done it properly, i assume they would have told me if not.
Then I overheard her effing and blinding to the other colleague saying that she would 'fking do it herself next time, Jesus Christ, etc".

I went and checked what i had done but couldn't see any mistake.

Later on i heard the same one whisper something when I dropped my phone then the other laughed.

I was so done, said bye only to the manager, neither of the two floor staff said thanks or bye or anything.

I've only been agency for a couple of weeks and fortunately this is the first poor experience I've had.
I'm so rubbish dealing with it though. What would you have done in that situation? I just end up being quiet. The good thing is that I don't ever have to go there again.

OP posts:

Pawtriarchal · 19/04/2022 20:30

I don’t think you’ll seem like a troublemaker if you say how lovely the other places have been but how you have concerns about this one. Care homes can vary massively in my experience but I don’t think colleagues like this are often any kinder to the residents.

RedWingBoots · 19/04/2022 20:32

OP each time you get treated that poorly please tell your agency that:

You would not want to work at that care home again, and,
Your reasons why being as constructive as possible

Then leave it.

If your agency has less workers on their books than bookings then they won't bother to send others there (unless the care home pays them a premium) as they will want to keep their workers.

whynotwhatknot · 19/04/2022 20:51

You sound nice op and they dont simple as that

if they dont like that they have to have different people in to explain thigns to everyday thats their problem with management not yours

my dsis is an agency worker not carer some places are nicer than others staff etc one of the good things is she doesnt have to work permanently in the places she doesnt like

Original poster

Fjdowkrialkakvk · 19/04/2022 20:55

I honestly felt like a naughty child, I understand things need to be right but felt like they were picking at every minor thing.
Hoping for more positive experiences like the previous homes

OP posts:

Feilin · 19/04/2022 22:02

People get "settled" they develop a way of working . They prefer that. These women expected more of you and you didn't fit their niche clique . That was harsh for you. I've done agency in a few homes and worked for longer than I care to remember in another. One home I worked 2 shifts . First was lovely. 2nd was different section with another member of staff who other staff seemed to hate . I followed what they directed me to do and unbeknownst to me it put extra pressure on others who saw fit to square up to me in the dining area in front of residents!. Then as I was leaving on a half day they were rowing with her in the corridor. Never again.

Feilin · 19/04/2022 22:03

I made the jump into the trust/nhs best thing I ever did

Original poster

Fjdowkrialkakvk · 19/04/2022 22:18

I dressed one lady in the morning who then told me she'd like to sit on her chair in her room for a short while. So I returned to the lounge and this staff member asked where the resident was. I explained she had wanted to stay in her chair for a bit. The staff member looked at me like I was a piece of dirt and told me, ermm, NO, she doesn't. And insisted that I go get her up right now...

OP posts:

Spinninsweetness · 19/04/2022 22:28

@Staffy1

Oh, how horrible. I think I would have been the same as you at your age, but being older now, even reading this makes my blood boil, I would have to say something to them, like “Is there is problem?” and they would have got a death stare at the very least for laughing at the dropped phone.

Oh wow! Yes!!!

MikeandDave · 19/04/2022 22:34

That does sound like they may not be treating residents very well. If someone wants to sit in their room that should certainly be allowed providing they are safe there

worriedaboutmoney2022 · 19/04/2022 22:37

@Fjdowkrialkakvk

Firstly these people sound awful and I'd definately tell the agency you aren't prepared to go back there that's for sure

Secondly go back to the places where people are nicer would be my rule

Thirdly - your doing a great job looking after people and people just don't realise what it entails ❤️

Original poster

Fjdowkrialkakvk · 19/04/2022 22:42

I understand wanting to encourage people to not stay in bed all day, it's not good for them, however at the end of the day it is their choice

OP posts:

Original poster

Fjdowkrialkakvk · 19/04/2022 22:43

I'm trying to imagine being elderly in a home and having the time I get up and get ready dictated

OP posts:

Ohwellnevermindthen · 19/04/2022 22:48

@Fjdowkrialkakvk

I heard them at the end of the shift talking with another older carer and one said 'I say it like it is, don't care who i upset'. That said it all really

People who churn out that line are 5 star dickheads, so I'm guessing that you did nothing wrong there. Perhaps the culture in that home means that staff turnover is high and that's why they rely on agency staff.

Goldfishbowls · 19/04/2022 22:58

Do feed back to the agency, OP. You didn’t stand a chance with these workers, they wanted to make your day difficult. Luckily you don’t have to go there again. The home will have a problem retaining staff which will affect care standards. Not allowing the residents choice to stay in their room for a while doesn’t seem right.

NeedAnOffSwitch · 19/04/2022 23:07

I agree with others. You really do need to speak to the agency as it's really unacceptable. I work in the same field and I think speaking to the nursing home manager would have been useful too.
We're understaffed right now and a bitchy staff certainly factor in as to why we're understaffed. No one wants to stay in that type of toxic work atmosphere. The manager might like to know about that.

Ohmybod · 19/04/2022 23:10

I think you need to develop a thicker skin for this sort of agency work. It’s not right but it’s going to happen again somewhere. There are dicks in every workplace and as you move about a lot you encounter more than your fair share. It’s one of the downsides. Focus on the positives to get you through.

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