Right Mnetters I need you to be really honest with my rn, because I’m feeling quite guilty but I’m not sure if I should.
Friends (not super duper close, but close enough) through DH, get on fairly well. Couple are child free. When I was Pregnant with DC2, we were chatting about names, DH and I mentioned we had a list but we were struggling to agree, the wife then said oh, what about Isabella (name made up as to not being outing) and we said yeah that’s actually on our list you know, funny thing and it’s the only one we both actually like, but we’re waiting until baby is born. Conversation changed and no more was said. A few months later she said she’d had a miscarriage a few years ago, and they were thinking about ivf and ultimately decided against it.
We met up last week and it turns out they’d been through a lot in terms of child loss and infertility, totally unbeknownst to me and she really wanted to call her daughter Isabella. Well now my 1.5 yr old is called it and I had no idea the extent of the back story and I feel really awful. She mentioned that she gave us the name and we hadn’t thought of it before, and she’s ok with the fact we called out daughter it, she thinks it’s nice. I did gently say it’s always been on ‘the list’ (you know the list of imaginary names you have on notes) and was the only one DH and I could agree we both liked. I know no one owns a name but god I feel like a real ass hat. Was I a dick? But I really love the name. Obviously I can’t change my 1. 5 yr old daughters name but crap am I that person.