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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think big days out aren't worth it?

117 replies

tiedyetie · 19/04/2022 15:26

Took the kids to a science museum/zoo type place. Cost loads, cost for parking too. Plus gas.

Drove there = 40 mins each way. Kids hyper in the car. On the way back too.

Museum was packed full of folk. Kids rushed round super quick, barely glanced at the animals.

Went outside, someone had set up some inflatables outside = fiver a child for one hour. Moaning because I wouldn't let them on it.

Had a picnic - found a really steep hill which the kids ran up and down for an hour! Best bit of the day apparently!

AIBU to think big days out are overrated???!!!

OP posts:
breakdown19 · 19/04/2022 19:05

I haven't read the thread but based on the title I am with you OP 😤😱🤪

Off to read it now 😂

breakdown19 · 19/04/2022 19:07

@yellowsuninthesky

Don't compare yourselves to other seemingly perfect families

This! I was at a stately home in Devon yesterday and a family were there with two little girls. Gosh they were so well behaved and bright (there was a fair bit of performance parenting going on, but still the children have to go along with it, otherwise it doesn't work!). I did wonder how the mother and father had managed to produce such perfect kids ;)

Ha! And then those children will be on the "children of narcissist parents " threads in the future.... 👀😭
superplumb · 19/04/2022 19:08

Agree. I feel the same about holidays. I'd not bother taking them abroad yet. Last year we drove for 7 hours to Scotland. Spent a fortune . Their favourite place was the trampoline park of which we have many where I live

Pasithea · 19/04/2022 19:08

Was going to take grandchildren to beamish. Over £100. No way. I know you can use them for a year but they only come once a year.

Lifesonebigparty · 19/04/2022 19:13

I think it completely changes the dynamic of the day if you're already annoyed at the cost of the entrance/car park & gas.

We are fortunate enough to have big days out regularly and whilst it's expensive, qe always have fun and for me, it's all about creating memories. Even if my children can't remember them (Both have good memories) there are always pictures to look back on.

Blinkingheckythump · 19/04/2022 19:43

@AHungryCaterpillar

At least they are going to the park. Its better than being stuck inside all the time. And potentially the parents can't afford to take them anywhere else. Not everyone can drive or even if they do they can't afford petrol, so even other parks or the beach are off the cards if you can't easily walk to them

We’re in London, most people I know with kids don’t drive, great transport links and free for kids!

It's not free for the parents though is it? I've been unable to make a medical appointment before because I couldn't afford the bus, I can certainly understand not being able to pay for public transport to take the kids further afield, can't you?
CountTheStars · 19/04/2022 19:46

I do think on the whole, that big, expensive days out are massively overrated. You pay so much on entrance fees & petrol you feel stiffed before you even get in. Crowds/queues everywhere you look, the kids don’t value the attractions half as much as you imagined - & if you’re having a real bummer of a day not at all, queues for drinks/ice-creams, and finally funnelled back out through the shop which is always overpriced.

My two kids are way happier going outside, to a park or gardens, or a walk near a lake where they can find long sticks & “go fishing.” Usually this means flinging weeds at each other but they’re so happy it’s unreal. Or if we go to a National Trust garden they have great woodland play areas, the cost of annual membership is the same charge as I’d expect to pay for one or two days at themed attractions, & everything about it is so much nicer. Less people, more free-range exploring, I get to relax too because they’re happy.

I went to one of our local farm parks over Easter - haven’t been for ages - and immediately remembered why. So many people, so expensive, long, long queues & grumpy, frustrated kids.

Goldenbear · 19/04/2022 19:46

I wouldn't say so with older children. Mine were happy with NT and walks when little, my DD lived picking up slugs and butterflies landing on her etc. The beach and making sandcastles for playmobil figures. However, my eldest is 15 and ultimately wants the money to go and buy vinyl with his friends or to eat some kind of junk food. He will go on days out like a football match to support his Premier league team which costs at least 70 for the tickets for him and his Dad. My youngest enjoys parks/ walks with her friends but gets bored otherwise. She loves the theatre, so I will pay out for West end shows but again these are not cheap. Neither of them are overwhelmingly bothered by theme parks anymore so no huge costs there .

AHungryCaterpillar · 19/04/2022 19:47

Plenty of others playgrounds within walking distance, we don’t live in the middle of nowhere! Yes I feel sorry for kids that are never taken anywhere.

Windflower92 · 19/04/2022 20:28

See I agree with the poster that says it must form some part of your subconscious memory/personal development to go on these days. I probably only remember a couple of weeks of school in total, but does that mean it wasn't worth going the rest of the time? I went to Disneyland a few times growing up, and I remember 'the trip' to the toyshop at the end, it was one of the highlights! But does that mean the rest of the trip wasn't worth it? I LOVED all of it, but you have to have a highlight! Set your expectations; have the main part of the trip, decide on your food and then plan in something more chilled like a playground. They won't remember all of it anyway, but it's better than sitting at home!

breakdown19 · 19/04/2022 20:33

@Lifesonebigparty

I think it completely changes the dynamic of the day if you're already annoyed at the cost of the entrance/car park & gas.

We are fortunate enough to have big days out regularly and whilst it's expensive, qe always have fun and for me, it's all about creating memories. Even if my children can't remember them (Both have good memories) there are always pictures to look back on.

It's true about the dynamic. But for some the cost is a massive deal
BoredZelda · 19/04/2022 21:57

Was going to take grandchildren to beamish. Over £100. No way. I know you can use them for a year but they only come once a year.

I loved Beamish as a child. We went a couple of times and I always look back on it as my favourite thing when I was little. I took my daughter and hated it, but that’s probably because it is shit for accessibility. She loved it too.

RishiRich · 19/04/2022 22:07

Agreed. We spent a lot of money taking the DC to Legoland once. Their favourite bit was the water play. We have a free water playground a 20-minute away Hmm

Fairislefandango · 19/04/2022 22:11

YABU. We've just had a rare family day out to Chester. We did the zoo, then mooched around the city centre and had a nice early evening dinner before heading home. Everything was fab and well worth the price. Lovely weather helped!

DementedPanda · 19/04/2022 22:14

Best day out for mine was a hot day in the summer, I took 11 kids out to the woods with a picnic, they spent the day splashing in water, catching minnow and releasing them, playing football in the open spaces etc. We where there from 10am till 6pm and they all still talk about it.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 19/04/2022 22:20

I know what you mean. I always think of that ABBA song, Slipping through my Fingers, where she sings about all the adventures she planned, and how "some we did, but most we didn't, and I don't know why." I always think "Oh I know why Agneta, it's because your kid made shit of the first ten adventures and after that you got beaten down and just took them to soft play again." I mainly think about this on the way home from a day out.

I persevere anyway because the local soft play closed down.

SpiderVersed · 19/04/2022 22:26

It depends on the children and the activity. Some are worth it, some not so much.

My eldest was happiest at a zoo or aquarium. From age 3 to 15 he could spend hours and hours there and they were his favourite days out. He talked about them forever. Expensivr but always worth it for him.

The other two absolutely love theatre. Yes, it's expensive but they remember things they saw 8 years ago.

It's about choosing what suits your family. Loads of great things are free but loads of expensive things are worth it for some.

Disneydatknee88 · 19/04/2022 22:31

I don't think big days out are worth it, no. It always ends in tears anyway. We end up resenting the parking costs. The food costs. The entry fees. The souvenirs in whatever form they take. The kids will inevitably find something about the day to moan about and it never seems worth it. I'd much rather they moan about going on a long walk that costs nothing where they just find a big stick and throw rocks in the puddles and we have a subpar picnic that they want before we even take 3 steps from the car. They remember the beach and the forest far more than the long queues and the stressed out parents at expensive whole day events!

chisanunian · 19/04/2022 22:41

We took our dd to London to see the sights when she was small, and the only bit she remembers was when we sat on a park bench to eat our picnic, and we were mobbed by squirrels who stole her fruit cake!

Ionlydomassiveones · 19/04/2022 22:51

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Parkmama · 19/04/2022 23:02

I sometimes wonder who the big days out are really for . . . sometimes I have taken my kids to London for example to see the sights and go for an interesting meal because it's actually me that enjoys going and I want to share it with them. The could easily have enjoyed similar activities for a lot less £££ and more locally but I want to experience these things together. I also believe that 'making memories' is t always the objective, it's about exposing them to different activities and interests which will eventually shape and influence who they are. I think this is hard to measure and is based on small events in their lives which give them a taste for going to the beach, fishing, NT houses, fancy gardens etc I think it potentially teaches them how to enjoy these things. I try not to spend a fortune getting in things, as great as they might be x

InvincibleInvisibility · 20/04/2022 06:09

I really am surprised by almost every PP saying its not worth it.

The "simple" days out you describe of going to woods, playing with sticks, splashing in puddles etc. we've done ad nauseam most weekends. Ditto all the free parks and museums.

The big days out really are different and our boys have loved every single one. I'm not a fan of zoos and aquariums but my boys adore them so we've been to every one within walking and driving distance, as well as the occasional one whilst on holiday.

With theme parks we didn't go until the youngest was 5 and big enough to go on lots of rides. Again, they have fantastic days out.

WalkerWalking · 20/04/2022 06:36

We don't really do those sorts of days out any more. I hate it when you've paid a tonne of money to go somewhere expensive, and then the kids are bombarded with "extras" once you're in. And we personally just can't pay for any of those, so the kids come away feeling like they've missed out, not like they've had a great day.

I'm a big fan of somewhere (anywhere!) quiet, where the kids can play and explore safely.

Phyllis321 · 20/04/2022 06:48

This reminds me of my colleague spending 1000s on an exotic holiday for her family. The best bit according to her children was the breakfast in a Little Chef on the way to the airport..

Jellycatspyjamas · 20/04/2022 07:35

My two love a big day out, they’re older primary age and when they were younger a day at the beach or at the park was great but they’ve always loved going to child friendly museums or theme parks etc. Yes there’s the usual grumbling that comes with being 9 and 10 but they count big days out as some of their best experiences.