To think big days out aren't worth it?

[tiedyetie]

Took the kids to a science museum/zoo type place. Cost loads, cost for parking too. Plus gas.

Drove there = 40 mins each way. Kids hyper in the car. On the way back too.

Museum was packed full of folk. Kids rushed round super quick, barely glanced at the animals.

Went outside, someone had set up some inflatables outside = fiver a child for one hour. Moaning because I wouldn't let them on it.

Had a picnic - found a really steep hill which the kids ran up and down for an hour! Best bit of the day apparently!

AIBU to think big days out are overrated???!!!

Expensive day out at Theme park garners zero memories, however, getting a McDonald's drive thru breakfast en route they remember because the hash browns were "worse than school ones"

This can definitely be the case. My 2 teens were actually great company and always loved wherever you took them when they were little- whether that be a theme park or scootering along a big, long path! They're still a bit like that- very happy mountain biking or just going on a hike, but love a theatre trip/ big day out in the city. We're also lucky to live in a big city with loads of parks and free museums.

Unfortunately, DS3 has ASD and ADHD and it's much, much trickier with him,

: lots of planning and he needs to know exactly what's going to happen. He's going through a phase of not wanting to do anything really, which is very frustrating, but we're going with it in the main.

Funnily, my friend's 2 girls were always holidaying in Dubai/ Las Vegas/ Malaysia/ 2nd home in Turkey but they're favourite memories of a holiday are when we all went en masse (4 mums and 10 kids) for an Easter week in caravans at Whitley Bay. They still talk about it!

@Coasterfan

Same. We get Merlin passes every other year and I love them.

We go early in the day and if we decide to leave after lunch because it’s really busy then no harm done.

@BitterTits it is, although I may well be in the minority as everyone I know thinks I m utterly insane at 42 to spend all of my free time running around alton towers with my teens like an overgrown 9 year old but it works for us 😀
I definitely think annual passes are the way forward for whatever it is appeals to the family as then there’s no pressure to have a great time, sometimes it’s amazingly quiet, sometimes we get on 4 rides. If I d paid £150 for the day I d be fuming!

@zoemum2006 that’s the joy of it, you can go for a bit or the whole day and it doesn’t matter how much you do. Last may bank holiday we went to Chessington and it was insanely busy, only did 3 rides but made the most of the zoo and sea life and relaxing in the sun. Just back from 4 days at Thorpe and legoland, expected it to be rammed and we didn’t queue more than 30 mins for anything any day over Easter!

My DS took DN to Disneyland Florida a few years ago. Massive expense, holiday of a life time. When they got back I asked him what he favourite part of the holiday was. His answer was the toy he’d gotten… from McDonald’s 5 minutes from his house on their way to the airport 🤣

Mine are teens and at stage where they don't always come so I look back and I'm glad we did as much as we did.

However we did a mix local and bigger things. Also as we were on public transport had to pace them and often leave earlier and made use of annual passes were we could and had food, drinks with us.

We haven't done that many theme parks. We personally found science musuem very varriable some seem to have lots of buttons often out of use others are great, musuems again varriable and frequently not a full day and zoo rarely done as well.

As we don't dirve there' often been walks so they did left off some steam our worst bits were often journey back when tired and having to naviagte trains, buses walks with tired kids.

I think we also had to be prepare to spend some aditional money if things weren't going great on - either gift shops or extra food and drinks - so salvage the day which wasn't always easy to do finacially but as the trips weren't frequent could be justified.

Edinburgh zoo - we used to have an annual pass but the kids favourite part was always the play parks. Best entertainment in Edinburgh used to be a glass-sided bridge over the railway line in Princes Street Gardens where the train drivers would often toot for the kids. Gate to it was often locked though - I was always as disappointed as the kids…

Reminds me of school trips when I was an infant teacher. Didn’t matter where we went, the best bit was always the coach ride and the picnic! We could have missed out the venue , driven around for half an hour, parked by a bit of grass, ate the picnic, raced around and driven back to school.

My DCs need pacing. Lots of big days is a guarentee for meltdowns (DS1 is autistic) but DS2 can get cranky too. We'll do something big in the holidays, but also lots of low key afternoons out. Afternoons work best for us as younger families tend to favour mornings before nap time, and my two appreciate a leisurely start to the day.

I asked my two what have been the best days out and they did mention things like the living museum and climbing centre so they've clearly been worthwhile, but we can easily have too much of a good thing.

Annoyingly for them, I'm a get out of the house mum, and highly rate the benefits of fresh air and tech-free time, but that does include a lot of pootling around play areas.

They may not remember everything but it is in their unconscious and I am sure it still has an effect/benefit their development and their adult life.

@MaryAndHerNet

My kids 9 I ask her what she remembers of days out in the past.

She remembers the tiny insignificant things.
I took her to Richmond and stayed in a Hostel, went for explores all over.. she doesn't remember any of that, she does, however, remember a tiny stream in the grounds of the hostel that she dropped stones in.

I took her to the zoo, hours spent there, lots of expense. We had a picnic lunch that day. She doesn't remember the zoo or the animals etc, but she does remember sitting on the grass and a small Jack Russell running off with half her sausage roll and us laughing about it.

I could go on.
It makes me want the 1000s back I've spent "making memories" that she's forgot... 🤪

I don't really understand the making memories thing, surely she enjoyed it at the time and that's the point?

We stopped having days out like this about 18 years ago because nobody enjoyed any of it.

How old are the kids? You say they rushed round and barely looked. Where were you? We took ours and talked about each exhibit in a fun way so engaged. Kids won’t ever take themselves round, you need to basically explain as you go and make it fun and exciting.

I take mine on the bus to the local cities and free museums. They love it.
Refuse to spend loads on big days out now.

@Rosebuud

How old are the kids? You say they rushed round and barely looked. Where were you? We took ours and talked about each exhibit in a fun way so engaged. Kids won’t ever take themselves round, you need to basically explain as you go and make it fun and exciting.

You know, I'll bet the OP never thought of engaging her kids, or even talking to them. Such wisdom. I always totally ignore mine then wonder why they're bored/ misbehave. Amazing insight, thanks. I'll definitely be more like you in future.

I disagree, we've had some fantastic big (and small) days out with my 2 boys.

They both have ADHD so we choose days where they can get have time to run around and let off steam on the way, whilst there and on the way home. Over the years we've had big successes with aquariums, theme parks, museums (science, natural history, dinosaur, military,...), art galleries, zoos...

Also popular: skate parks, huge play areas, trampoline parks, soft play (when visiting grandparents cos they don't have them where we live), cycling,...

We live in a flat without a garden in the centre of a capital city so we have to get out every weekend day plus every school holiday day. It's much easier on days out than days at home (2 boys with ADHD in a flat during a strict lockdown was not fun)

I took dd to BirdWorld when she was about 5 as we were queuing to get in she saw a seagull in the car park and got very excited by seeing a bird. Every bird after that was less interesting, but she did like the gift shop where we bought her a cheap bird pen.

Depends. But, yes, they absolutely love the extras like icecream, face painting, playgrounds/inflatable castles.....

We spent some money on a few things in the last year:

• legoland: forgotten (they're too young....)
• cadbury's world: wow!!! They loved it!! They keep talking about it all the time still. Absolute favourite thing. It involved eating more chocolate than they do any other day, of course 🤦🏻‍♀️
• frozen musical: wow!! Loved it! Super Elsa fans, really enjoyed the theatre
• zoo anual membership: depends on the day....

Yesterday we went to a theme park. They adored it. Only time they got antsy was the 1 time we queued more than 30 minutes. But after each ride they came off beaming saying it was fantastic

It all depends on your objectives for the event or day

How old are the kids op? My ds 6yo absolutely loves day out like these. If we go to a museum we usually look at the website before so that he can get a bit excited and plan out what he would like to see. I feel we are more prepared this way and he is enthusiastic about exploring. He loves the theatre as well. We always watch the movie/read the book before so that he can follow along and be engaged.

There are plenty of things to do which are free or very cheap, and often a whole day is too much.

It's a shame to spend £100 on a day at the wildlife park only to tell granny later on the phone that "I saw a duck". We could do seeing ducks for free on the local pond

@Holidays27

They may not remember everything but it is in their unconscious and I am sure it still has an effect/benefit their development and their adult life.

I'd hope for this rather than "making memories" which is random and beyond parental control.

Though as an adult childhood memories have been triggered by things we've done with our own children - did a few places we'd gone to with our own parents.

I do remember once I started secondary trips pretty much stopped- I was middle child as did many other child related things like pumpkin carving or fireworks, easter cakes or christmas related things even baking. I don't want that for my DC - so even though oldest is increasingly opting out we're trying to adapt family traditions.

I think I agree with you OP. Have a teen now but I remember being busy every weekend and mostly successful (and cheap) and we would usually take a friend along. Of the expensive days, Noddy became fucking noddy after a miserable and overpriced experience at Harewood House. We are lucky because we live in a major city so plenty of cheap but fun days out at urban farms etc. We also have always done lots of holidays and went to a toddler break at Butlins because it was near my parents and stayed on lots of caravan sites because they are near other family members. These were the best breaks ever! Just lots of running around safely, mini discos and making a little gang of friends. All very cheap (back then-prices have sky rocketed even outside school holidays).

We took DD to Lapland when she was 7 and stayed for a week over xmas. I booked flights and an amazing cabin in saarisiselka for under £1000 then turned up at the Inghams welcome meeting to book on their excursions (usual Santa village, reindeer rides etc). There were several families who must have paid several 1000s to create magic but several children were overtired, fed-up and bloody grumpy. Many were just too young and expectations were too high.

I had parents with National Trust membership. I would never subject DD to that. Look for cheap things happening locally. Open days, fetes - they all love a tombola. As DD got older I took her to local water parks. The favourite between her and her friends was a council run pool in the next city which has since been closed down (Richard Dunnes for those of you who remember it). It was pretty grim but they loved it!

We’ve just come back from a holiday in the Peak District and o feel I definitely overspent on ‘big days out’. In hindsight, the most successful activities were the hike up a big hill (free), a little museum that we stumbled across (not free but cheap), and a huge adventure playground in woods (just paid for parking). We spent £80 on one attraction (family of 5) and, whilst the kids quite enjoyed it, they enjoyed the other days more. You live and learn!