To milk it while I have surgery?

[Bluebirds1987]

I've just got a date through for gallbladder surgery.
I am currently on mat leave and will have a 10mo and nearly 3yo. Told DH and his response was:

"Do you think I'll need to take some time off work?"
😂🤦🤷

I'm currently breastfeeding so I do all night feeds, DC2 is in nursery 3 days a week so I just have the baby and I do the nursery runs, and have both kids the other 2 days. DH often works away and won't know where he will be working.

Am I doomed to be expected to jump right back in to mum mode the second I get home?

If anyone's experienced gallbladder surgery - how much do I need to milk this to make sure I actually get to recover... ?!

And realistically, will I actually need anyone to look after me, let alone the kids?

I'm admittedly a bit disappointed that it's day surgery so likely not going to involve an overnight stay 😂 so I can just see that once I'm home I'll be just thrust back into mum mode, stitches and all, and that'll be it!

Do I need to tell him it'll take longer than it actually will to recover to ensure I at least get the bare minimum? 🙈

You’ll need looking after and recovery time. It obviously varies depending on how your gallbladder is when they remove it…depends how much they do. But yes, although it’s now day surgery it was an overnight stay or at least a minimum of 6 hours in after surgery until recently. You’ll probably be sore for a couple of weeks and he will need to take time off. Hope it all goes well

I don't know how long, but deffo he needs some time off. My male friend had this surgery done and I think he was off from work for 2 weeks and didn't have any babies to look after.

It was definitely 2 weeks until I felt better with no little ones to look after

I had it done and, provided they can do it via keyhole surgery, it should be relatively straightforward. You will probably be achy and a bit gassy for a few days. The biggest issue will be lifting and bending down especially the first week maybe the second depending on how you recover. I think your husband should plan on taking at least 1 week off. If you didn't have kids then it would probably only require a day or 2.

When I had my gallbladder removed (admittedly 8 years ago) I was basically in bed for the first 3 days with very limited mobility so it's not really milking anything - you genuinely will need to be looked after! Unfortunately I had complications from the surgery and ended up back in hospital for a further 10 days so couldn't speak to longer than that but I would definitely be planning on resting for the first 3!

You won't really NEED anyone to look after you although it would be nice as getting up and down can be quite sore and you'll be tired. But you will definitely need help with the children. I couldn't have lifted a baby for at least a week, probably longer.

If you can afford it, get a temporary nanny for at least the first week and get your DH to make sure that he isn't travelling for a few weeks so that he can come home from work and take over at night. That's what my friend did when she had knee surgery and was off her feet for a few weeks and had two under 4.

Er, yes, he needs to take time off.

If he had surgery, and two tiny kids to look after, would he expect YOU to take time off?

These men!

I heal quickly and am pretty gung-ho.... I had mine out pre kids. I was kept overnight and was pretty immobile for about 24 hours. It was sore and I found moving around v uncomfortable. After that I recovered quickly.... but tired very easily. This was before working from home was easy for everyone so I went back to work after about a week but on a part time basis - my boss let me take a cab to work and I went home when I got tired. I think I did half days for a couple of days then almost full days with the benefit of no commute.

You will absolutely need help. I'd suggest seeing if you could get the toddler into nursery for the whole week and your DH should have the baby/look after you etc (if you don't have other family help?)

You will definitely need support with the kids. I felt very unwell for the first 2 days after and then the usual aches and pains for a week after that. I wouldn't have been able to lift children up or do chores etc. You will also feel tired from the anaesthetic for a few days.

Will you have a pre op assessment? You really need to ask what will be required in terms of rest after your OP. You shouldn’t need to milk it, just go with the guidance and expect him to be a decent partner. If you feel you have to tell him longer just to get the minimum time needed, then I’m presuming he’s a bit of a twat. Don’t put up with that.

@BlackAmericanoNoSugar

If you can afford it, get a temporary nanny for at least the first week and get your DH to make sure that he isn't travelling for a few weeks so that he can come home from work and take over at night. That's what my friend did when she had knee surgery and was off her feet for a few weeks and had two under 4.

Or perhaps her DH could use some of his annual leave to look after his wife and children? You know, like when he said 'during sickness and in health' in his marriage vows.

Not that I'd wish it on anyone, but a friend of mine had the type of radiation treatment where you remain radioactive for a few weeks after the treatment and you are advised not to have close contact with small children, prepare food for others, share a bed with a partner etc etc.

She decamped to her elderly DMs spare room for 2 weeks and left her DH at home in sole charge of 2 under 5s. She said that the rest was almost worth getting cancer for.

Does he seriously think he doesn't have to look after his own kids? What a tosser.

You will need help for at least a week. I was using a carpet cleaner two weeks after my op 😂 I had two pre-schoolers and my DH arranged my in laws to have them on what would be my days off for two weeks.

I have had a couple of laparoscopies. Standard recovery is 2 weeks. You will very likely need help for this long.

You need two weeks of “light duties” only. No lifting the children for at least a week or you may tear.

You won’t be milking it to need rest after surgery. While you personally might be ok on your own as long as you are set up with some snacks and supplies, you should not be pushing yourself chasing and lifting children. There is a balance to recovery. If you don’t move at all, it can take longer to get back in shape, but if you push to hard, you will actually slow down your recovery significantly.

I had gallbladder surgery (keyhole) a year ago as an inpatient due to Cholecystitis. I'm in my 50's. It took me 2 weeks to feel ok and as I work in a school, I had an extra 2 weeks of Easter holiday. You need time to heal and rest after surgery definitely no matter what.

I found recovering from having my gallbladder out worse than a c-section! I was bed bound for 3-4 days, and even then the painkillers made me pretty useless!

He will need to take at least a week
Off!

You will have had a general anaesthetic, it's still quite major surgery. I wouldn't be expecting you to do anything more than self care and feeding baby for between 2 and 4 weeks depending how much of a jostling your insides suffer during the op and how long the gas they pump you up with takes to dissipate

You won’t be able to lift a 10 month old for at least a week!

My dh felt rough for 1-2weeks afterwards, the anaesthetic can leave you feeling tired and lethargic.

I had an op a few years ago and milked it for weeks. Go for it!

Ask him how long does he think he would need to recover after surgery?

He will have to look after the children - no question. You maybe able to help but he needs to be carer for them

Definitely two weeks of no lifting although after 3 weeks I still got an ache in my side and shoulder after walking for more than ten minutes.