To milk it while I have surgery?

[Bluebirds1987]

I've just got a date through for gallbladder surgery.
I am currently on mat leave and will have a 10mo and nearly 3yo. Told DH and his response was:

"Do you think I'll need to take some time off work?"
😂🤦🤷

I'm currently breastfeeding so I do all night feeds, DC2 is in nursery 3 days a week so I just have the baby and I do the nursery runs, and have both kids the other 2 days. DH often works away and won't know where he will be working.

Am I doomed to be expected to jump right back in to mum mode the second I get home?

If anyone's experienced gallbladder surgery - how much do I need to milk this to make sure I actually get to recover... ?!

And realistically, will I actually need anyone to look after me, let alone the kids?

I'm admittedly a bit disappointed that it's day surgery so likely not going to involve an overnight stay 😂 so I can just see that once I'm home I'll be just thrust back into mum mode, stitches and all, and that'll be it!

Do I need to tell him it'll take longer than it actually will to recover to ensure I at least get the bare minimum? 🙈

OP you really need to look after yourself first. Your DH can look after the kids, only you can look after yourself.

It was really quite depressing reading your post. You seem so resigned to risk your health instead of seemingly “inconveniencing” your DH.

Would your DH be happy to look after two children alone after surgery while you went away? No of course he wouldn’t, and I’m sure you wouldn’t expect him to either. So why do you expect it of yourself?

I was meant to have day surgery and was kept in for 3 nights. Took several days after that to feel better too.

Watch out for post op infections - I needed 2 courses of antibiotics

Thanks, it sounds like recovery can vary, so may need to prepare for at least a couple of weeks of help.
He will absolutely take time off if needed, but it'll be up to me to tell him that, I think I'm just worried because when I had the gallstones attacks that led to the plan for surgery, he was great when I suddenly got the pain and felt unwell, he saw to the kids immediately, and of course they are number 1 priority. But he also left me doubled over on the floor upstairs, throwing up, didn't come to see what was happening until I managed to crawl downstairs to say take me to A+E!
I do sometimes think because I just make such little fuss when I'm ill he thinks I'm fine, but I really had to impress upon him the severity of the situation!!
In fairness his kneejerk response of do I need time off will be for planning ahead, since his wage covers the majority of our outgoings at the moment with me being on mat leave and he won't get paid for any time he takes off as all his (limited) holiday days are accounted for.
I'll definitely ask him to make sure he's not away, especially for night feeds, but I'm wondering whether it'll be better to ask MIL to come stay with me the couple of days and nights after the surgery as although she can be a little overbearing, I literally don't think she'd let me lift a finger!

If DH was here with me and the kids, I'd probably inevitably get roped into helping in one way or another purely because I'd be here IYSWIM, and I'd probably feel obliged to tbh!

I'm hoping that I'll recover quickly and can maybe get away with telly and infinite snacks for the kids for the second week... But I'll definitely plan for the worst case scenario!

Look him straight in the eye and ask him who he thinks is going to take care of the children while YOU recover from abdominal surgery?
What a dick

Think of it as your having an organ removed... ok so its a tier 6 organ but still. I felt like crap for the first couple of days and could barely move. After about day 4 i started to be able to get up and move about but still no heavy lifting. I was off work for 2 weeks. Dont underestimate the recovery time even though its a tier 6 organ and the incisions are small. Your body needs the time to heal internally as well as externally.

I had abdominal key hole surgery when I was 48, but for appendicitis. They blew me up like a beach ball and I felt like every muscle in my abdomen had been pulled, and like I'd done 1000 press ups and then been stabbed three times. Even getting out of bed really hurt. The idea of going through that while having small children to look after is really grim.

One thing to consider - I was given tramadol for a pain killer, which didn't suit me at all and I just threw up until it wore off. I was later told it's known amongst medics as the 'vomiting drug'. You don't want that after abdominal surgery!

I had it last year by keyhole.

I was very sore for about 4-5 days but after that was fine, and I returned to work after 2 weeks. However, your situation is different in that you've got a 10 month old and will need to lift and bend down to and certainly you will need more help than I did!!! I think you should milk it on the grounds of the baby.

I had it 4 years ago by keyhole. Only mine had complications and mine burst in surgery. I was meant to be in day surgery but stayed for 4 days and then had a drain in. My recovery time was between 6-8 weeks and it certainly wasn’t easy.

I had mine done last Sept. Took me two weeks to feel able to lift the kids as normal. First three days I was in bed on painkillers. Was much worse than I'd anticipated. I thought I'd have to milk it too, bit was generally knocked for 6

Feel like I could have written this, just waiting for surgery date and I have a 2 year old and 6 month old. So reading and taking notice of the answers.

Luckily my mum lives round the corner so she's going to help out and take the kids so DH doest have to take time off to have the kids.