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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To decline my school place?

524 replies

LG123 · 19/04/2022 06:20

I'm so cross, just want to yell at admissions (I won't).

My daughter got offered a place outside of catchment as my catchment school os oversubscribed. They wouldn't have to provide transport because she's under compulsory school age so my tiny 4 year old would be expected to walk 2 miles each way everyday.

Bet all the ones that drive got their place at a school round the corner.

AIBU to tell them to jog the fuck on?

OP posts:
AngelaRayner4PM · 19/04/2022 08:21

I would just use the stroller and go on the waiting list if this was me

Sally090807 · 19/04/2022 08:22

Why don’t you delay her start if you can, I did that with my daughter and was the best thing I did.

Lougle · 19/04/2022 08:22

Please do not decline the place. You can keep the place right up until the day she should attend school, so there is no point in declining. In the meantime you can look at options such as waiting lists.

LoisGriffinskitchen · 19/04/2022 08:22

Loving all the clueless MNers saying "get a bike", "can't you drive" and "it's perfectly doable" when clearly they have not had to fit it round a work run etc.

Nice to only have to think of getting your child to school. Many others have to work too so it's not always so simple.

And to the MNer who thought of it as "free exercise". Just no words, how nice and jolly for you.

Original poster
LG123 · 19/04/2022 08:23

@ballsdeep why would they be at a disadvantage starting reception at 5? My 3 year old can't wipe her own bottom, she isn't even toilet trained - she just isn't ready, we have tried.

OP posts:
Original poster
LG123 · 19/04/2022 08:23

@Sally090807 99.9% doing this.

OP posts:
Original poster
LG123 · 19/04/2022 08:25

@needmorethanthis thank you, I am on that Facebook group, it was my initial plan, I was hoping she'd pick up physically a bit more but she hasn't and now today has just reaffirmed that my decision was correct.

OP posts:
DorritLittle · 19/04/2022 08:27

Another mum out of catchment, no siblings, no SEN, not looked after (afaik) and doesn't work there got my catchment school.

If you are in catchment, how is this possible? I'd appeal in that case.

Original poster
LG123 · 19/04/2022 08:27

@ThisUserIsNamed not true, you are able to request out of cohort admission into reception at 5 my county is supportive of this.

Some people don't agree with it but stuff 'em.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 19/04/2022 08:28

It sounds like delaying her a year is a good plan op. Next year if you get the same school accept and go on the waiting lists for all your nearby schools and you'll hopefully get something.

ButtonMoonLoon · 19/04/2022 08:28

I’d go on the waiting list for your first choice School- people decline places and change their minds/move house all the time. A place may well come up by September or mid year - which would avoid you potentially being in the same position next year - albeit with a transport offer.

Original poster
LG123 · 19/04/2022 08:28

@DorritLittle apparently appealing is tough for infants. For all I know her child maybe looked after - it's not something you shout about.

OP posts:
Bythepath · 19/04/2022 08:31

I get from your posts that deferring is your preferred option. But I would suggest calling the transport team to confirm the rules. All 3 of my DC (2 August born) went on the school bus from the start of reception. We got a letter saying officially we dont provide transport till they are 5 but as there are spaces on the bus they can get on. Although imagine if it is just your DC and no established school transport already up and running they will say they dont have to provide transport.

IcedOatLatte · 19/04/2022 08:31

@lightisnotwhite

Is your logic there that because your child was able to do it every child is able to do it?

Literally every child that you know nothing about can walk 2 miles to school?

How does that even work?

I think the point was the Op seems to think it’s not possible? Someone just pointing out it was.

No, the PP was stating quite clearly that because her child could do it the OP's child would be fine. I read it often and find it bizarre that a poster can't recognise that all children are different

I see the OP has now given more information that her dd seems to have some developmental delay but hey, a random child can walk 2 miles so no need to worry Confused

THNG5 · 19/04/2022 08:34

@OrangeBlossom28

You do realise she will enter Yr1 and have missed out on her EY provision.
This is completely wrong information.
AngelaRayner4PM · 19/04/2022 08:34

I had a summer born child who in July wasn't potty trained or school ready in anyway really. By September he was potty trained, could dress and undress himself, was totally school ready. It was amazing how many skills he gained in under 2 months. So I wouldn't necessarily think that she won't be ready for school just because she isn't now. He also stopped using the stroller that summer and increased his walking ability massively. It was really like I had a toddler and then a school age child suddenly. It wasn't over night but it was fast. Reception year gave him a chance to catch up with his peers, and I am very glad now that I didn't defer (and I did consider it). I'm glad he will be in the 'correct' school year if that makes sense? Because socially I think that would be hard later on.

Is there any wrap around care at the new school? You might find if there is a breakfast and/or after school club that might work for you? Or if there is a childminder who drops off to that school you could do that in the morning at least?

Fulmine · 19/04/2022 08:35

@MzHz

Appeal!
Not that easy for Reception places. Essentially you have to show that something has gone wrong with the allocation process - you can't just appeal on the grounds of prejudice to your child, as you can with places for older children.
Lalliella · 19/04/2022 08:36

Don’t decline whatever you do. You’re far better placed to get what you want in the system than out of it. Accept and it gives you the choices of:

  • appeal
  • defer
  • go on the waiting list

Or all 3

In the meantime (haven’t RTFT so apologies of this has been mentioned) can you look into starting driving?

Mind you a woman at my kids’ old school had 4 kids and walked them all the same distance every day right from when they were tiny.

AngelaRayner4PM · 19/04/2022 08:37

What are the nursery doing to support her to be school ready? It seems odd she has been kept back a group there unless she is markedly behind for her age. Has she been seen by Heath visitor, Gp or a paediatrician to rule out any underlying conditions?

NellePorter · 19/04/2022 08:40

We have a late-August born DC and our authority do not support deferred entry into YR. We didn't want them to miss out on key EYFS so they started at just turned 4, totally not ready. Now in Y5 and although doing well academically, still somewhat behind peers in emotional / social development. Now concerned about them starting high school.
I would definitely defer in your position.

CottonSock · 19/04/2022 08:42

My dds definitely got the school transport for reception year even though they are both summer born. Not for nursery though.

AnnaKorine · 19/04/2022 08:42
  • Loving all the clueless MNers saying "get a bike", "can't you drive" and "it's perfectly doable" when clearly they have not had to fit it round a work run etc.

Nice to only have to think of getting your child to school. Many others have to work too so it's not always so simple.

And to the MNer who thought of it as "free exercise". Just no words, how nice and jolly for you.*

I haven’t commented on this thread so far but I did get a bike to take my child to school and I cycle there and back before going to the train station to go to work. It’s not ideal and the rainy winter months can be a grind but I try to think of it as free exercise!

Quincythequince · 19/04/2022 08:46

Don’t decline it.
Accept it and then go on continuing interest.
I’d you decline it, you may well find yourself having to home educate. It won’t give you any greater priority than anybody else in the queue just because you didn’t accept what you were offered.

workingmomlife · 19/04/2022 08:47

For someone who said they are non confrontational you sound....very confrontational

  • do you drive? If not why not?
  • if she is too young and isn't toilet trained to the point she cant wipe herself why did you apply in the first place?
  • why is it only 2 days per week?
Whenyougonnalearn · 19/04/2022 08:48

[quote LG123]@Whenyougonnalearn I was surprised yes, another mum out of catchment, no siblings, no SEN, not looked after (afaik) and doesn't work there got my catchment school.[/quote]
From a previous year?