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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Driveway annoyance

213 replies

Newjourney2894 · 18/04/2022 09:16

Hi all, just wanted some advice on whether I was being unreasonable or not about my new home which I have waited several months to move into! 😅

My DH and I have just bought a gorgeous semi detached on a lovely quiet street which has long drive way and 2 x grass patches between each houses. Our house was vacant for about a year until we moved in and as a favour to the previous owners next door would park on the drive now and again.

The previous owners cut one of the patches of grass away to widen the drive so you can fit 2 cars next to each other but still left 1 patch of grass between the attaching houses attached.

Now it is the house not attached that would occasionally park on the drive until we moved in that I have the slight issue with. They use the middle part of the drive which is the original part of the drive to reverse their cars off the drive so they don’t have to ask the other one to come out and move the car.

They’ve kept their patches of the grass intact which is up to them but that doesn’t mean they should keep using my drive to reverse out. AIBU to start parking one of my cars further back so they can’t get out or go and speak to them? Or let it go which is what DH thinks 😂

OP posts:
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Original poster
Newjourney2894 · 18/04/2022 10:36

There is no other house on the street that has fencing at the front though, it’s a very matchey match street with apart from the grass areas being slightly changed all the houses are pretty the same at the front, no fences or anything.

As some suggest I might start to park my family car behind my work car but on drive 1 rather than next to each other.

The other reason I might do this is because my work car is very noticeable and I don’t really want my tenants finding out where I live which because I only live 5 mins from work now there is a chance they might drive by and see it. I work for a HA

OP posts:
JaffavsCookie · 18/04/2022 10:37

Whilst it may be irritating you a bit, if your DH is running a business from home, and having clients come and park at your house i think i would let it go as you are almost certainly also causing them a bit of annoyance because of this ( and may actually be in breach of planning) so a bit of give and take each way.

Vsirbdo · 18/04/2022 10:41

I don’t really understand why you’re bothered. My neighbours do this and it’s never occurred to me to care.
I’d let go of the annoyance over having a good relationship with neighbours

CapMarvel · 18/04/2022 10:44

Honestly this wouldn't bother me at all, but if it did just pop round and ask them to stop doing it. Simple.

Original poster
Newjourney2894 · 18/04/2022 10:45

@JaffavsCookie it is a business but the guests aren’t clients. They are mainly his friends who come and use the space to play table top games and he records podcasts so someone might come round to the house to record with him

OP posts:
Noshowlomo · 18/04/2022 10:47

Why would that cause annoyance @JaffavsCookie as it’s on their own drive way? Doesn’t affect their neighbours at all. Whereas the other neighbours use their drive as a shortcut ..

Seeline · 18/04/2022 10:48

It doesn't need to be as solid as a fence. Just put some big rocks along the edge of your drive, or plant up some pots and place along the boundary. As long as the gaps aren't big enough to get a car through, job done

marmiteandminticecream · 18/04/2022 10:48

this would not bother one bit .i might do what pp said above about occasionally parking my car there because you can but you really don't want to fall out with your neighbours it's a really horrible atmostphere to live with

RedHelenB · 18/04/2022 10:49

How is 10 seconds of being on your drive/ grass area using you? No big deal to me.

WeAreTheHeroes · 18/04/2022 10:59

The posters stating it wouldn't bother them, keep neighbourly relations, etc are missing the point. It bothers the OP and as someone else has posted, if you don't stop them there's the possibility they can establish a right of way over your land, which has the potential to devalue your house. Plus how is it neighbourly of them to repeatedly use the OP's drive? They are lazy and cheeky. The first thing I would do is ask them to stop doing it. How they respond from there will inform how you deal with the issue.

caecilius1 · 18/04/2022 11:04

Just park your 2nd car in a way that prevents this. Easier for you to access your own cars with bigger spaces all around them I would have thought. It's not passive aggressive at all, certainly much less so than putting fences /rocks in.
There's nothing to stop the cheeky neighbours from removing all their lawn, if they want a drive in/ drive out set up.

asco · 18/04/2022 11:05

@RedHelenB

How is 10 seconds of being on your drive/ grass area using you? No big deal to me.
^^ Exactly this. Why on earth would you jeopardise relations with your neighbour over something that does not inconvenience you?? Just why? If this is your dream home and you plan on living here for the foreseeable then surely you want to live in harmony. Have you met them? Spoken to them? Had any dealings with them? If so do they come across as CFs? Arrogant? Not nice? If you want to suss them out then maybe call and tell them that you were thinking of reinstating the grass area between the two drive ways but have noticed that they use it to reverse out of their drive? See what they say to that, their answer/response will tell a lot and maybe then make a decision. But all the passive aggressive shit that other people are posting? Don't do it.
EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 18/04/2022 11:12

I was thinking as a solution park the family car which needs more room to allow the children to get out of the back further back down the drive so it blocks of their reversing space or is it that passive aggressive?

A conversation would be better but if you or your DH don't want that then do as you propose. Your NDN plausibly sees the use of your drive as their entitlement and not a favour and need a cue to remind them that this isn't true.

SockFluffInTheBath · 18/04/2022 11:14

What about a bit of hedge in the ‘extra’ driveway? Something like photinia doesn’t need much upkeep and looks lovely.

Original poster
Newjourney2894 · 18/04/2022 11:15

I would reinstall the grass area if that was the original grass area but it’s not. The drive they reverse off is the original drive and the drive labelled drive 2 which is in front of the house is where the old grassed area is.

It would look weird putting the grass area there and if we did put the grass back in we would have to park our cars one behind the other..

OP posts:
Badbadbunny · 18/04/2022 11:18

It needs stopping. You're just storing up future trouble if they continue to use your drive as it can become a legal right of way if it's used by someone else for long enough. Even if it doesn't get to that stage, you're just deferring the inevitable day when it does come to a head.

Either fence it off or park your car there to stop them. The sooner you do something, the better. If you don't want to make a big deal of it, how about occasionally parking your car further down the drive to stop them on an occasional basis.

They're probably just using your drive because they see it empty, (many people would do the same).

Remember the old saying of "good fences make good neighbours"

KosherDill · 18/04/2022 11:21

This would annoy me greatly.

I'd say nothing , just park near the road in Drive 1 until they get the hint.

If you can erect a fence, do so. My home has a similar arrangement and the CF next door and his kids were constantly on my drive with bikes, etc till we fenced off.

Badbadbunny · 18/04/2022 11:21

What's wrong with "passive" actions?

The neighbours are in the wrong. It's up to the OP how to deal with it. They may prefer to avoid a confrontation. Parking their own car in the way to obstruct is a very "low contact" way to stop it happening and is worth a try.

Far simpler/cheaper/easier/less confrontational than planting a hedge or putting up a fence.

KosherDill · 18/04/2022 11:23

@Newjourney2894

I think it is familiarity on their part as the previous owners lived here for 30 + years and so have the neighbours however we are new and young and we have young children who I tell not to cross the boundary and to stay on our side and I don’t want to have to tell them to watch out for cars when they are on our land. 😕

My DH is using the front room for his business so i might start parking behind his car as I come and go more and use driveway 2 for getting round each other.. he could use that drive for clients who are coming and going as it leads to the front door which goes straight into the front room

All of this is perfectly reasonable. It's your property, not theirs. If they take the hump, it's a poor reflection on them and their misplaced entitlement.
lborgia · 18/04/2022 11:23

I don't understand the people who think it's OK to use a neighbour's driveway to get in and out of their driveway, but I think you have a kid- related top trump.

Seriously, the biggest issue is that they might run over a child. Least likely thing to happen, but best thing to cite.

Oh, and obviously you've chosen to live somewhere which looks like wisteria drive, but whatever your driveway looks like, others may copy themselvesSmile

Where I live it's apparently reasonable to use the fronts of people's driveways to do a three point turn, which I find really weird. But then I don't think I'll ever be happy until I have a moat!

LindaEllen · 18/04/2022 11:27

@Newjourney2894

I was thinking as a solution park the family car which needs more room to allow the children to get out of the back further back down the drive so it blocks of their reversing space or is it that passive aggressive?

The last house we sold we had a good relationship with the neighbour until we both sold or houses and then she turned on us so it may be affecting my view on the matter but this is my dream home and I don’t want to be walked all over Hmm

It's never passive aggressive to park on your own land. Never. Don't worry about that, and absolutely do it.

But you do need to have some kind of fence put up - or even planters or just anything that would block them from reversing out.

Toocooltoboogie · 18/04/2022 11:28

Does it really matter if they use your drive for a few seconds to reverse out? Does it impinge on your life in any way at all? So very petty.

Fulmine · 18/04/2022 11:29

@vivainsomnia

So their reversing, which last about 10 seconds doesn't impact on you in anyway.

You're just annoyed because you pay for something and they didn't. I'd let it go. There might be a time you need a favour from them. That will be the time to remind them of the reversing issue.

I very much doubt if anyone who is driving properly and paying attention to whether the road is clear to reverse into would do it within 10 seconds. But even if they are, it's an assumption that they can just use someone else's property for their own convenience, and it's presumably at least once a day if not more.

Tell me, @vivainsomnia, if your neighbour decided they just fancied walking through your house once a day when you were out, might you object to that? After all, it doesn't impact on you in any way.

godmum56 · 18/04/2022 11:32

I'd just start putting your cars so they can't do it. Its likely that all you will need to do is break the habit.

Blossomtoes · 18/04/2022 11:34

if your neighbour decided they just fancied walking through your house once a day when you were out, might you object to that? After all, it doesn't impact on you in any way

Ridiculous analogy because obviously it would impact on you. Another car on your drive for a couple of minutes is in no way comparable.