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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how to stop sister talking?

39 replies

Pottedpalm · 18/04/2022 08:24

My DSis just doesn’t stop talking. She and her DH were here for lunch yesterday and as usual she totally dominated the ‘conversation’. It’s not really conversation as nobody can get a word in. She even keeps going while she eats. I just felt so exhausted listening to her, and it’s frankly embarrassing when other guests are there. ( none yesterday). How do I tackle this ?

OP posts:
oldestmumaintheworld · 18/04/2022 08:31

You don't. She is a talker -some people are. Unfortunately she's not a very perceptive talker and doesn't take turns. If you have a good relationship you can jokingly say 'Ha,ha, sis let someone else get a word in'. If you don't, you may have to put up with it.
Of course, it may be that she talks because you don't and that makes her feel uncomfortable so she works to fill the space.
Only you know the answer.

sobby49 · 18/04/2022 08:32

Tell her to shut up now and if she doesn't, kick her out.

mudgetastic · 18/04/2022 08:35

Was she always like this ?

PutinIsAWarCriminal · 18/04/2022 08:36

You aren't going to change her, so you either accept her as she is or you keep away. I have a sil like this and she will talk non stop about something very mundane. If I want to say something I just cut her off.

UnsuitableHat · 18/04/2022 08:38

If you don’t feel able to confront her about it directly (which can be hard tbf), you could try waiting for a break in the monologue, even if small, then jumping in and asking someone else a question. Try to break the flow in that way. Another strategy with an overtalker is to just get up and walk out of the room after they’ve held court for more time than seems reasonable.

LaSoupe · 18/04/2022 08:38

My sister is like this. It's annoying but some people just are. I just jokingly lose the rag and tell her to let other people get a word in. A serious conversation isn't going to do anything. You can't change personality.

Original poster
Pottedpalm · 18/04/2022 08:39

I would talk if there was an opening..

OP posts:
Moochio · 18/04/2022 08:40

My MIL is like this. I just zone out or start conversation with some one else

Supersee · 18/04/2022 08:40

My brother is like this, dominates conversation and talks really fast/mumbles to boot so it's double annoying.

Don't see much of him these days.

A580Hojas · 18/04/2022 08:43

Sympathies OP. My mother is like this ... it is totally exhausting to be in her company. I'm afraid my only solution is to keep visits to a minimum and spend hours mentally preparing. My brother has similar tendencies ... I can be in their company for approx 1 hour before I want to tear my hair out!

Sometimes what I passively aggressively do is to stay absolutely silent to see if anyone notices. It amuses me if nothing else.

arethereanyleftatall · 18/04/2022 08:45

I don't enjoy people like this whatsoever. So, I spend as little time with them as possible.

redbigbananafeet · 18/04/2022 08:57

@Moochio

My MIL is like this. I just zone out or start conversation with some one else
Excellent tactic
redbigbananafeet · 18/04/2022 08:59

Do what Moochio said or talk over her, loudly. Start talking to your BIL really loudly about something else. Be rude, she is. Then if she says "I was speaking!" reply "Yes, we're all very aware of that because you haven't stopped or allowed anyone else to speak this entire meal."

Ikeptgoing · 18/04/2022 09:04

I interrupt, I put my hand up ✋ and say 'can I just stop you there?' Either that's enough (you can start a convo with someone else) or you say say "Sis you have talked straight for 15 mins now without taking a breath we Lost track of what you were saying ages ago Please can you let others talk now?'

Essentially she's talking at you not with you. It's like being hit on the ears and head repetitively with a tennis racket. It gives you a headache after a while and you feel helpless. So I would stop it.

I hate being 'held hostage' by talkers that go on and on and have no interest in letting other people join in any conversation. So besides from stopping her there are two other tactics

Walk out of the room whilst she is still talking and start your own Conversations (you can call others out one by one til only her DH is left with her!)

If all at the table, After a while of her talking deliberately start up a separate conversation with someone else next to you- talk at the same time over sis, asking questions to the other person and gradually others will join in your more interesting conversation.
If Sis says you are being rude as she was talking, just reply 'you're always taking Sis, no one gets a word in, there's never an end and we want to talk to catch up, so we're not waiting anymore'

Ikeptgoing · 18/04/2022 09:09

If it's one to one of being talked at, after about 30mins if it really is a monologue- I pick up my phone and start reading something else and stop listening. And I walk out of the room. I learnt that from my Dad 😂

If challenged I act surprised and say "Oh you were talking to me? You didn't seem interested in me at all so I left you to it"

boronia · 18/04/2022 09:16

I have a friend like this, she's lovely, but she talks constantly.
We have a friends group and I enjoy her chat but when she's been going on too long I'll ask someone else about something that I know will start a different subject and I do that a few times.
I do love her though.

Oatsandstuff · 18/04/2022 09:16

How do you otherwise get on?

Fulmine · 18/04/2022 09:19

Has she always been like this? Has no-one tackled her about it the entire time she was growing up?

KitKattaktik · 18/04/2022 09:24

My ex-SIL did this and if she couldn't think of something to say she would say a long drawn out loud aaaaaaaaaah until she thought of something else to monologue about.

I used to just walk away.

TokyoTen · 18/04/2022 09:48

My MIL is like this - I just ignore it now (after years of trying to be polite and engage with her which DH never did). I'd never invite her with someone else for this reason.

MRex · 18/04/2022 09:52

You can't unless you fancy a row. I just minimise time with the peer-talkers of our family, then tune out and meditate on my breathing while they go on.

sqirrelfriends · 18/04/2022 10:00

MIL is like this, we usually see her for a week at a time so it gets very tiresome.

Oatsandstuff · 18/04/2022 11:53

On the basis of this thread
The OP is the opposite of her sister on the chatty front!

orbitalcrisis · 18/04/2022 14:25

I have autism so can be like this myself! I do try not to be and make sure I give people a 'turn', so of course your sister can change! Talk to her about it.

Pipsquiggle · 18/04/2022 17:20

I have friends like this.

You can do 2 things:

  1. Take the piss out of them
  2. Talk over them. It is difficult at the beginning, as you are polite and wouldn't normally do this but needs must
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