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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be out as much as possible with DS(17 months)?

41 replies

Ridingonthewaves · 17/04/2022 16:26

I’m asking because to be honest no one seems to be out as much as we are and I can’t work out whether we are a bit odd or not.

DS seems to get incredibly restless at home and then it’s difficult to manage him. So he’s out a lot.

That’s fine up to a point but I’m actually wondering if this isn’t really good for him. It’s a throwback to lockdown as I hated being at home with DH there so was out a lot.

Should I be spending more time at home with him?

OP posts:

Changethenamey · 17/04/2022 16:38

How much is a lot? When mine were little I was out with them every single day. They didn’t like being at home unless I arranged tons of exciting activities which I didn’t have the time, money, or energy for. Far easier to get them out the house in my opinion.

Original poster

Ridingonthewaves · 17/04/2022 16:39

I think that’s my take on it. I’m just getting a bit worried lately that I should be doing more things that focus on learning and understanding.

OP posts:

AHungryCaterpillar · 17/04/2022 16:41

Mine don’t like going out every day some days they just like to chill at home.

konasana · 17/04/2022 16:41

School is for things that focus on learning and understanding. When you're 17 months, you are learning all the time from everything. Even going to do the food shop is a 'learning experience'. All you need to do at that age is love them, communicate with them, let them play and be free!

Lazypuppy · 17/04/2022 16:42

We've always been the opposite, happy at home playing with toys while i potter around, on weekends we maybe have 1 trip out. If we do go out its for a couple of hours or so never all day.

I've always been very aware of making sure we fon't entertain dd all the time, at home ahe gets bored and has to play with toys etc, and has done from a young age

Original poster

Ridingonthewaves · 17/04/2022 16:43

I know what you mean @konasana I suppose my worry is things like recognising body parts, animals, plants, items of clothing etc. I don’t mean formal lessons but just doing things like nursery rhymes and books at home, or creative play.

OP posts:

NrlySp · 17/04/2022 16:43

They are learning when the are outside - motor skills, balance, nature, listening and doing as Mum ask and more. All helpful skills.

DockOTheBay · 17/04/2022 16:46

@Ridingonthewaves

I know what you mean *@konasana* I suppose my worry is things like recognising body parts, animals, plants, items of clothing etc. I don’t mean formal lessons but just doing things like nursery rhymes and books at home, or creative play.

You can learn all of that outside.

PumpkinPie2016 · 17/04/2022 16:49

Not unreasonable at all. When my DS was a baby and up to around 2.5 he was the same. Used to get very restless at home. I used to go out every single day for as long as possible.

When he was small enough, he would go in the pram and I would walk the local bridal ways and canals to the park/shops/to feed the ducks. Also things like food shopping or to see relatives. At that age, they are learning no matter what they are doing.

Mine is 8 now and we still go out lots but he is also happy chilling at home/playing in our garden.

Original poster

Ridingonthewaves · 17/04/2022 16:50

Well, maybe in theory but try getting a toddler to sit still and listen to a nursery rhyme in the middle of a park

OP posts:

Messyplayallday · 17/04/2022 16:52

@Ridingonthewaves as you’re thinking about it, you’re probably already doing all that even if you’re outside everyday. if you’re worried about not doing enough books then you could do some in the morning before breakfast and/or for bedtime.

I’m out everyday with my now 2 year old, and I have 3 books in the car so she can look at them herself and also if we have some time in the day I’ll read with her. Creative play we do a couple of times a week but that’s because I love to craft, make things, do funny stories with her dolls, draw etc but we also make mud pies, build stick forts for ants and use sticks are puppets when we are at the parks.

Easier said than done, but try not to worry too much and remember what parents say they do with their children is often exaggerated!

Bramblecrumble21 · 17/04/2022 16:55

We'll, the things you suggested you could do outside, sing heads shoulders knees and toes, talk about animals and plants. I have a memory when my daughter was about this age, listening to me intently about roots outside. I remember it because at 17 months there isn't much intent listening. But it's mostly sensory learning at this stage.and outdoors is the best for that.

Mummy1608 · 17/04/2022 16:58

Kids don't learn words just from nursery rhymes. They learn from ordinary conversation. When you're playing in the park, you might say "look there's mud on your leg" and things like that, and that's how they learn the word leg.

My dd is 20 months now and I'm amazed how many body parts she knows the name of - I think it's mostly from listening to me and dh using the words in context, because we don't do "educational" stuff much. But maybe she learnt them at nursery too

daisychainsandrainbows · 17/04/2022 16:59

@Ridingonthewaves

Presumably you get them dressed before you leave the house?

There's your learning about clothes/body parts. And real experiences of them seeing things and you talking about what they're seeing are so valuable. Talking about the big red bus and the little blue car is a lot more exciting when they're whizzing past instead of static pictures in a book.

That's not to say books aren't important, they definitely are, but head out to the library, read a book every night before bed and you'll be reading them dozens of books a month.

They don't need to be sitting in a house to learn, there's a whole world of learning all around :)

Original poster

Ridingonthewaves · 17/04/2022 17:02

Thanks, I do appreciate the reassurance.

I suppose the problem with talking when you’re out is that he’s never still, for one thing, and also the height difference between us means I’d have to be practically yelling down at him! I did notice the other day that a toddler the same age as him did seem to understand far more than he does. But then he has more words than she does so swings and roundabouts?

OP posts:

reluctantbrit · 17/04/2022 17:15

At 17 months I wouldn't worry about learning. All the things you mentioned can be just added into normal conversations or even reading a book together.

Going out, letting him run off steam and discovering nature, playing with stones and sticks is also vital for toddlers. They will sit down soon enough for longer times.

Going shopping is about food, going to the library is reading a story together, a playgroup often does a sing-along during the time. He learns more than you think.

Maybe try some things at home when it's a rainy day.

Weewillywinkle · 17/04/2022 17:40

I was out all the time with my kids from babies onwards. They are the sort of kids who bounce off the walls if we stay in too long. In fact the eldest still is at 7yo! They are also great at running/climbing/ riding bikes compared to kids of their age as they were much more physical. It took her ages to learn to write as she wouldn't sit down.

They were also getting bored at home from 2yo so she did some mornings at a preschool.

I do see children who are happy pottering at home ( and sometimes feel jealous!), but it doesn't work for my family. Do what works for you and your baby.

underneaththeash · 17/04/2022 17:48

@Lazypuppy

We've always been the opposite, happy at home playing with toys while i potter around, on weekends we maybe have 1 trip out. If we do go out its for a couple of hours or so never all day.

I've always been very aware of making sure we fon't entertain dd all the time, at home ahe gets bored and has to play with toys etc, and has done from a young age

That's because you have a DD.

We had to be out by 9.30am at the latest with both my my boys at that age, or they'd be scaling the bookcases.

DD on the other hand, was more content pottering at home.

Steelesauce · 17/04/2022 17:54

@underneaththeash thats a load of crap. My DD is 100x more feral then my boys. She is like a whirlwind. It's down to personality.

HardbackWriter · 17/04/2022 17:56

We're an out every day without fail family too (but then I am a out every day without fail person, with or without children to worry about - I find even a day or two without leaving the house really affects my mental health) - I think you're almost certainly worrying unnecessarily because you might be out a lot but you don't live out! You must be washing him at home for instance - a great opportunity to talk about body parts and to sing. You must be eating meals, either at home or out, and that's normally a very chatty time too. Do you read books at bedtime? You could introduce them after breakfast, too, if you want more opportunities in the day? I think you probably have a lot of time in the day talking if you stop and think about it.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 17/04/2022 17:58

I would try and stay home and let them potter daily: I was like you and out and about all day long and now my kids are 3&6 they can’t stay home and entertain themselves at all… it’s exhausting!

HardbackWriter · 17/04/2022 17:58

@Lazypuppy

We've always been the opposite, happy at home playing with toys while i potter around, on weekends we maybe have 1 trip out. If we do go out its for a couple of hours or so never all day.

I've always been very aware of making sure we fon't entertain dd all the time, at home ahe gets bored and has to play with toys etc, and has done from a young age

I don't think there's anything wrong with this at all - it would drive me mad, but if it works for you all it's great and I can see it would have some real advantages - but your username did make me laugh in this context!

NuffSaidSam · 17/04/2022 17:58

Children need a variety of activities, so if you're out running round the park all day, every day then yes that's probably too much.

If you're just out and about a lot, but also reading, playing, mark making etc. at home or outside then it's fine.

A parent facing buggy is great for combining talking to them/singing/naming body parts etc. with being on the move/outside.

LizzoBennett · 17/04/2022 18:10

I take my 17mo DS out every day and always have. We have a weekly routine in place with messy play, visiting grandparents, play dates, swimming lessons and playgroup every week plus a dog walk every day. Despite doing all this, DS still has plenty of time at home with his toys and books in my opinion. We read every day and he enjoys 'helping' with chores. He is the opposite to your DS in terms of language, understanding a lot but saying little - so that may be more down to personality.

underneaththeash · 17/04/2022 18:22

@Steelesauce well there are obviously exceptions (to everything) but most boys need more exercising that girls do at that age. There are very few boys of that age who are content in the house all day - none of the 50 or so little boys of that age I knew would have been.

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