To be out as much as possible with DS(17 months)?

[Ridingonthewaves]

I’m asking because to be honest no one seems to be out as much as we are and I can’t work out whether we are a bit odd or not.

DS seems to get incredibly restless at home and then it’s difficult to manage him. So he’s out a lot.

That’s fine up to a point but I’m actually wondering if this isn’t really good for him. It’s a throwback to lockdown as I hated being at home with DH there so was out a lot.

Should I be spending more time at home with him?

[quote underneaththeash]@Steelesauce well there are obviously exceptions (to everything) but most boys need more exercising that girls do at that age. There are very few boys of that age who are content in the house all day - none of the 50 or so little boys of that age I knew would have been.[/quote]
This is complete rubbish.

Sexist rubbish.

@HardbackWriter you’re probably right - I’ve definitely been making a more conscious effort to actually show him things and talk to him. It sounds so obvious when you say it like that but yes bath time for example - I’m often just so whacked when it comes to bath I let him play with his toys but it’s a good opportunity to talk.

I do chat to him but I suppose I’m drawing a distinction between that really clear ‘this is a cat! Hello, cat! Look, a cat!’ and the ‘oh, the cat is here again’ comment I might make in passing.

So today we went to the park for an hour, then church for an hour and a half, home for lunch, nap, then out again for a walk and play.

I definitely don’t think it would be good for him to be in all the time. I’m just wondering if in my keenness to avoid that trap I’ve unwittingly fallen into another!

We were out all the time because DS(7) has always needed loads of exercise and outdoor time to be bearable. We also did every toddler group in the borough.

I can see it would have been lovely to potter at home for those early years, but alas it is not the hand I was dealt.

@nuffsaidsam exactly! I know loads of spirited boys and girls. My boys are so chilled compared to her and always have been. Some of my friends have had opposite experience. It really is just personality, nothing to do with what genitals they are born with.

Oh god I was out every waking minute with DS at 17 months. They have no idea how to ‘play’ at that age - they just want to destroy the house. DS would also get extremely tetchy at home. You could just see him relaxing outside. He was at his absolute happiest just exploring the car park of our estate then!

It’s a tiny bit better at 2. He’s got some idea of playing with his cars or his tea set. Only lasts 30 mins or so though (and I have to be playing with him, of course ). We are still out twice a day on my off days - toddler group in the morning and the park in the afternoon. I’m still encouraging the in-house play so he is used to it. But there is no two ways about it, he is a total outdoor cat and his behaved is staggeringly better out of the house then in. Me and his dad much prefer to be outside doing things too though so I can’t really blame him!

I used to be out with mine all the time at that age. I had a rucksack carrier and used to walk miles, he loved looking around at everything that was happening. We’d stop at playgrounds or other outdoor places where he could run around a bit. In the winter I’d take him to B&Q or garden centres as he loved running round exploring. He used to get bored and restless at home and I found it much easier to get out with him.

He’s three now and we tend to stay home more as he’s old enough to be entertained by playing imaginatively with toys but we still get out quite a bit.

I think you need a balance. If they are used to being out all the time they don't learn to amuse themselves when you have stuff to get on with. We would have either the morning or afternoon out doing things then home. They did art type things, playdough as well as toys so had sensory stuff etc

I have a 20mo and live in a small 2 bed flat in London. He goes to nursery 3 days a week but on weekends and my days off we are out for about 2hrs in the morning and again in the afternoon either at misic class, messy play, the park, a cafe or museums.

I find it really difficult to be in the house with him for a whole morning/afternoon stint, he is much happier outside kicking a ball. He loves reading books but we do plenty of that early in the morning, before his nap and in the late afternoon once we are home.

To add (and not to sound smug) his language development is way ahead of what is expected, so I don’t think it’s done him any harm. Quite the opposite - we talk more and an about I think.

@Ridingonthewaves

Well, maybe in theory but try getting a toddler to sit still and listen to a nursery rhyme in the middle of a park

It may help you to know that children can't actually sit and learn (especially fine motor to write) until they've developed their gross motor skills.

So you are setting him up formal learning when the time comes honing those gross motor skills

That’s good to know! His motor skills are really good, just obviously don’t want to get behind in language because I’m focusing too much on motor skills

DS (just 3) is off for 2 weeks now (usually does mornings in pre school.
We literally have been out of the house every single day as he loves being out and about.
Some days to Imagination Play, we have a Woodland Educational Play Centre near us and between have done various parks, farms, beaches etc.
It hasn't made him behind at all, he can count, speak full sentences and can explain a lot about what he is doing, why and asks questions.
We do story time daily and he enjoys stickers, painting etc but more then anything loves being out.

I was always out with my 4dc, in the park, on the beach or woods everyday. Also used to visit our towns little museum reguarly, and the art gallery everytime there was a new exhibition. My dc loved the outdoors, and I loved how when we were out they all got along and were great fun to spend time with. In the house they generally were hardwork and always bickering. Until they left primary school, I used to joke that the only time we spent in the house was asleep!

If you’re worried about learning, at that age (and all through childhood actually) they learn through play. When he’s in the bath name his body parts while washing ‘let’s wash your legs now, then your feet, how many toes 1,2,3,4,5 etc). He might not be saying the words but he’ll be taking it all in. And read, read, read! My one regret is not developing more of a love of books with my older 2 so I’m trying hard with my preschooler. He doesn’t necessarily want to share a book during the day but at bedtime he loves it and can recite his favourite books back to me and pretend to read it. Honestly it’s all about developing fine motor skills and talking about what you’re doing while you’re doing it. Unless you’re not speaking to him at all during your outings then I’m sure you’re doing a great job! Try to take him to a variety of places. Farms are great for learning about animals, food, plants etc. Playgroups are great for sitting and singing and messy play etc that you might not feel comfortable to do at home. At a push mine has learnt loads through blippi/tractor Ted (lockdown baby!).

I just sing nursery rhymes when they're in the bath or stick them on in the car. The wiggles do a good nursery rhyme playlist on Spotify my younger three love it.

I wouldn't overthink it really, he's 1!

[quote Steelesauce]@underneaththeash thats a load of crap. My DD is 100x more feral then my boys. She is like a whirlwind. It's down to personality.[/quote]
Agree. My DD (6) is the endless-energy, climbing the walls type. My DS (4) is content to sit at home and play (he is soooo good at playing independently).

We do go out most days because of the benefits of nature/the outdoors.