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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a tad disappointed I’m not in the photos

42 replies

goaskmum · 17/04/2022 14:55

Recently I had a night out at the local bar with a small number of my friends for my birthday and we took some photos but it ended up I was the designated photographer! I tried to get one of me in it but it was so busy so it was impossible to get another one again!

I was in one photo but you can barely see me due to the angle of the camera.

AIBU to be a bit disappointed I’m barely in them? They put them on social media and you wouldn’t even think I was at my own birthday night out!

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 17/04/2022 14:57

Why didn’t you just take more selfies? I don’t think you can complain if you were taking all the photos

Original poster
goaskmum · 17/04/2022 14:58

@Shoxfordian

Why didn’t you just take more selfies? I don’t think you can complain if you were taking all the photos
They asked me to take the photos
OP posts:
RedHelenB · 17/04/2022 14:59

@goaskmum

Recently I had a night out at the local bar with a small number of my friends for my birthday and we took some photos but it ended up I was the designated photographer! I tried to get one of me in it but it was so busy so it was impossible to get another one again!

I was in one photo but you can barely see me due to the angle of the camera.

AIBU to be a bit disappointed I’m barely in them? They put them on social media and you wouldn’t even think I was at my own birthday night out!

Yabu. If you wanted to be in them ask someone to take it for you or do selfies.
Shoxfordian · 17/04/2022 14:59

Yes but you could have taken some more with you all in them

Aprilx · 17/04/2022 15:03

You kind of say it like it is a surprise, I was expecting to read that you were not in any of a relatives chosen wedding photos. If you were taking all the photos on your night out, then you are not going to be in them. You needed to hand the camera to somebody else and say you take the next one.

sploshsplash · 17/04/2022 15:03

It's frustrating.. for some reason I always seem to be the one taking photos at family things eg Christmas and there's nothing worse than actually asking someone to take a pic as it's so staged. I love non posed natural pictures.. I'm never in those. And selfies can be a bit rubbish sometimes and fake

cushioncovers · 17/04/2022 15:04

I would have taken selfies with friends in.

Moochio · 17/04/2022 15:04

But you took all the photos so I don't know how this can be a surprise or disappoint. Take a few then say someone else's turn now.

SparklingLime · 17/04/2022 15:10

They asked me to take the photos

So you take some and then say, ‘can you take some photos now?’ And do a pose.

Lesperance · 17/04/2022 15:13

But it was your birthday. And taking photos is not necessarily an activity you have to have only one person doing. YABU to not have mentioned it.

KrisAkabusi · 17/04/2022 15:26

If you were taking photos, what didn't you take selfies? Nobody to blame except yourself.

WonderfulYou · 17/04/2022 15:29

So you take some and then say, ‘can you take some photos now?’ And do a pose.

This is what I would have done. Asked one them to take it of you and the rest of them and asked a different person every time so everyone is in the photos.

If it’s your bday then you should have been in most of the photos.

LookItsMeAgain · 17/04/2022 15:30

If the photos are on social media, I'd have to put up a comment like "Even though these were taken when we were all out for my birthday, you wouldn't know it from these photos. A good night was had by all"

The next party you're at, take some selfies and photos with some of the attendees (practice if you need to before you go out so that you know if you hold the camera one way you'll be in the photo, that kind of thing) and then you'll be in the next set of pics.

Ridingonthewaves · 17/04/2022 15:31

YANBU

I absolutely hate asking people to take photos with me in them.

LaingsAcidTab · 17/04/2022 15:36

YABU. You didn't speak up.

RampantIvy · 17/04/2022 15:45

DD is in a student share with a girl who is an "Instagram influencer". There are often photos taken of all of them together, but the "influencer" never puts any photos of her flatmates up on Instagram, only photos of her beauiful friends from home - and herself of course.

Shinyandnew1 · 17/04/2022 15:49

I was the designated photographer!

That sounds a bit self pitying. You say they asked you to take photos, but you could have asked them to as well! You can’t be surprised if you were the only one taking photos and then you weren’t in any!

It’s usually me who takes photos as I’m the only one who can be arsed to. That’s not anyone else’s fault or problem.

Luredbyapomegranate · 17/04/2022 15:55

It was your birthday! Of all people you shouldn’t have been taking the photos. Say that next time. And get one of the bar staff to take an all group shot.

You have to speak up in life.

JaneJeffer · 17/04/2022 16:03

Why didn't you get the bar person to take some?

MrsWinters · 17/04/2022 16:06

Surely everyone takes a few snaps? What on earth is a designated photographer????

Kite22 · 17/04/2022 16:06

You kind of say it like it is a surprise, I was expecting to read that you were not in any of a relatives chosen wedding photos. If you were taking all the photos on your night out, then you are not going to be in them. You needed to hand the camera to somebody else and say you take the next one.

Yes, same here.
If there's a group out somewhere and we want a picture, the norms are

  1. photographers takes as a selfie
  2. take from one end of the table then get someone on other end to take the others who weren't in the first pic
ro
  1. ask a passing waiter / waitress / person from the next table to take one of all of you.

Bit odd to be "the" photographer in the first place when everyone has phones these days, but if for some weird reason you were, then daft not to pass your phone to someone and say take one of us lot now please.

VyeBrator · 17/04/2022 16:08

You mean disappointed in yourself that you didn't just ask someone to take some photos with you in them?

If so, YANBU. A lesson learned.

TabithaTittlemouse · 17/04/2022 16:09

If you wanted photos of you couldn’t you just have ask someone to take one?

bigyellowTpot · 17/04/2022 16:19

I hate this as this always happens to me. on family days out etc I'm always the one taking the pics as no one else thinks to do it so it ends up looking like I've never been there. Occasionally I will ask OH to take a pic of me so future generations will know I existed atleast but if I didn't there wouldn't be a single pic of me!. I've got lots of lovely none posed pics of OH & the kids or my mum & kids but none of me which I'd love to have. even when I've mentioned this to OH, my mum etc they still don't take any. I wouldn't mind as its easy enough to do these days as everyone has a camera on their phones xx

bigyellowTpot · 17/04/2022 16:23

And selfies are not the same in my opinion, much better to have someone take your pic but I will take the odd selfie but not many.