Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Claiming Universal Credit, DB says I'm well off.

233 replies

Aphrael · 17/04/2022 14:07

I've been claiming Universal Credit since September, it's currently at the "Assessment Rate" of £270 per month while I'm waiting for a Work Capability Assessment to determine I'm unfit to work. I've been cleaning PIP for a few years now and I have a Motability car. My payment after this deduction is £240 per month.

So overall I receive £510 and have to pay everything like electric, gas, phone/broadband, Council Taxx2, fuel for the car before I even consider shopping and I am struggling and having to rely on the local Food Bank, although I dislike some of the items they provide.

I sometimes have asked my parents/brother for money - for context my parents receive £2,200 per month and my brother & wife receive £1,750 per month.

While my brother has been willing to provide money and/or food last night he castigated me for being greedy, selfish and behaving in an unacceptable manner. Any advice also would be great.

AIBU - They don't have to support me and don't have to supply anything.
AINBI - Supporting me is a great thing to do as I am really struggling at the moment on the assessment rate.

OP posts:
spotcheck · 17/04/2022 14:11

Interesting language..
They 'receive' the amounts? Are they on benefits, or do they earn that amount through a job?

And your brother 'provided' you with money? As in he loaned / gave it to you?

Your brother may be annoyed because it seems you expect him to give you money.

Poptart4 · 17/04/2022 14:11

YABU I'm afraid.

As a grown adult it is not your parents in siblings responsibility to provide for you. I know its hard right now (been there myself) but you have to cut your cloth. Your OP sounds quite entitled tbh

Blueskythinking123 · 17/04/2022 14:13

If you cannot afford to eat I'd suggest you don't have the car and get full PIP payments.

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 17/04/2022 14:15

Yes, I wondered about 'receive' as well.

It's not nice of him to call you greedy. Has this happened before? Has something tipped him into a reaction? He's helped you before so presume he hasn't just been critical from the start.

Have you spoken to anyone who could help you with budgeting to make the most of what you do have? What don't you like that the food bank provide and is there a way to ask for alternative items or swaps?

JayAlfredPrufrock · 17/04/2022 14:17

Interested to know about the stuff you don’t like from the Foodbank.

returntoUK · 17/04/2022 14:17

Well, no, they don’t HAVE to support you, they can choose to or choose not to.

You do sound quite entitled to their help.

Is the car a necessity?

DahliaMacNamara · 17/04/2022 14:17

OP may need the car to get to appointments etc. However, it's a bit much to expect help as of right from people who don't sound especially well off themselves. Presumably they have housing to pay for?

notapizzaeater · 17/04/2022 14:19

They will have bills too. I'd help my family out but if it was every month I'd not be too happy. Are you getting help with the rent ?could you take a lodger to help ?

Idontevenknow · 17/04/2022 14:20

YABU to expect your family to help you. Mine would but they don't have to.

However your brother is unreasonable to say you are well off

LoudingVoice · 17/04/2022 14:22

Do your parents/brother work? It seems unusual you know their exact income tbh.

Unfortunately they’re under no obligation to support you, as others have said is a car a necessity?

Even if you need transport would occasional taxis rather than a monthly cost of a car work our cheaper?

TweetTweetMF · 17/04/2022 14:24

YABU. It's not your parents or brothers job to provide for you. I'd be pissed off too.

Florenz · 17/04/2022 14:25

What do you mean when you say your parents and brother "receive" money?

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 17/04/2022 14:25

I think it's incredibly kind of your brother to have given you money and food, but it's really, really not something you should be expecting - which is how things appear from your post.

He's not exactly raking it in himself - £1750 to support a couple (and kids?) isn't exactly huge amounts of money - it's only around 20k a year which won't go far after rent, bills and food etc.

I appreciate you're struggling but that's neither their fault or responsibility. You need to speak to your GP or adult services and see if there's other income you can receive, or see if you can access a food bank etc.

Why do you think they should give you food and money?

PonyPatter44 · 17/04/2022 14:26

£510 is a pitiful amount to live on. Your brother is a half-wit. Of course your family doesn't HAVE to support you - but I could not sit back and let my child struggle while I was comfortable. Would your parents agree to take over a bill or something for you, instead of doling out cash? At least then you have some peace of mind that the Council Tax or whatever is being paid.

If you are assessed as unfit for work, how much more benefit are you likely to get?

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/04/2022 14:27

He shouldn’t say horrible things to you but maybe he’s resentful of your expectation that he or your parents owe you money. None of them are on high incomes.

Stop asking for help and discussing your circumstances.

TweetTweetMF · 17/04/2022 14:27

@PonyPatter44

£510 is a pitiful amount to live on. Your brother is a half-wit. Of course your family doesn't HAVE to support you - but I could not sit back and let my child struggle while I was comfortable. Would your parents agree to take over a bill or something for you, instead of doling out cash? At least then you have some peace of mind that the Council Tax or whatever is being paid.

If you are assessed as unfit for work, how much more benefit are you likely to get?

Sorry but since when is £2,200 comfortable? You have no idea how much their rent/mortgage/bills are. Hmm
Bagelsandbrie · 17/04/2022 14:29

Why do you have some expectation that your family need to support you? All seems very odd.

JudgeRindersMinder · 17/04/2022 14:30

having to rely on the local Food Bank, although I dislike some of the items they provide.

This is what stands out for me.

TweetTweetMF · 17/04/2022 14:33

If you can't afford the car can't you return it and use public transport? Or rent a mobility scooter? It's cheaper.

Dishwashersaurous · 17/04/2022 14:34

On such a low income you should be eligible for council tax discount, have you applied.

What about your housing costs, are they covered separately?

Also agree that if you are not working then running a car might not be the most efficient use of your income

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 17/04/2022 14:35

@PonyPatter44

£510 is a pitiful amount to live on. Your brother is a half-wit. Of course your family doesn't HAVE to support you - but I could not sit back and let my child struggle while I was comfortable. Would your parents agree to take over a bill or something for you, instead of doling out cash? At least then you have some peace of mind that the Council Tax or whatever is being paid.

If you are assessed as unfit for work, how much more benefit are you likely to get?

How do you know they're comfortable? You have no idea what their incomes have to cover!
Dishwashersaurous · 17/04/2022 14:35

And you are obviously not well off. But as an adult it is not your parents or siblings to support you

Seafog · 17/04/2022 14:36

It shouldn't be on them to support you as an adult.

Hospedia · 17/04/2022 14:39

It sounds like you're all in a difficult situation to be honest. On the one hand, its not up to your family to financially support you especially if they're struggling too but on the other I know I couldn't see a sibling sitting cold and hungry without offering to help.

I think a big part of the issue here though is that you're taking their help for granted and expecting to be given support as your right. They're obviously getting annoyed/frustrated with this and, while his words might have been harsh, your brother does have a point about it not being their job to keep you - as hard as that is to hear.

Have you chased DWP about the assessment to try speed things up? I know wait lists are busy but the squeaky wheel really does get the grease so I'd be contacting them at least once a week to chase it up. If they're dragging their feet then get your MP involved, they can chase it up too.

Is the car the cheapest one suitable for your needs? There are vehicles that are less than your allowance which means you'd get the difference back although changing it would depend on your needs, your lease terms, etc.

Are you claiming everything you're entitled to? Try looking on entitleto.co.uk or turn2us.org.uk to check you are.

Do you have a community pantry/community food hub near you? They offer free food to anyone who wants/needs it and you choose for yourself what you want, a bit like a supermarket but without paying. You don't need a referral and they're stocked using donations from local shops/supermarkets and items bought using donated funds. For food you don't like af the food bank, just tell them. Really, you're allowed to have preferences and they'd rather you handed back something you don't like and therefore won't eat for something you will eat.

dangermouseisace · 17/04/2022 14:46

TBH although it would be nice if they helped you out, I wouldn't expect it. Who knows what is going on in peoples lives. Ex and I were on a “high” income but due to his debts we were completely broke and then some. I've been on benefits and never asked family for money as it wouldn't occur to me unless I was absolutely desperate and it was a proper full on emergency eg broken boiler.

You are on a low income, I hope you get through the WCA soon. It is tough. Maybe you can tell the food bank if there are certain items you don't eat?

Swipe left for the next trending thread