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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Claiming Universal Credit, DB says I'm well off.

233 replies

Aphrael · 17/04/2022 14:07

I've been claiming Universal Credit since September, it's currently at the "Assessment Rate" of £270 per month while I'm waiting for a Work Capability Assessment to determine I'm unfit to work. I've been cleaning PIP for a few years now and I have a Motability car. My payment after this deduction is £240 per month.

So overall I receive £510 and have to pay everything like electric, gas, phone/broadband, Council Taxx2, fuel for the car before I even consider shopping and I am struggling and having to rely on the local Food Bank, although I dislike some of the items they provide.

I sometimes have asked my parents/brother for money - for context my parents receive £2,200 per month and my brother & wife receive £1,750 per month.

While my brother has been willing to provide money and/or food last night he castigated me for being greedy, selfish and behaving in an unacceptable manner. Any advice also would be great.

AIBU - They don't have to support me and don't have to supply anything.
AINBI - Supporting me is a great thing to do as I am really struggling at the moment on the assessment rate.

OP posts:
EatSleepReplete · 17/04/2022 14:48

Both unreasonable. Him, because he shouldn't berate you for being unable to manage financially on the relatively small amount you're currently getting. You, because it's not their responsibility to support you financially & you shouldn't ask them TBH.

I notice you didn't mention rent. Do you live with family, is the rent amount separate, how much if any do you pay, how much of your DPs & DBs income goes on rent? Nor did you mention if they are working. Some people do feel that people in work are more entitled to their money, whereas people on benefits should be grateful for whatever they can get.

We're on UC, & I get full PIP. However we chose not to get the mobility car because the extra money each month is more useful for other things. When I do need transport, I get a taxi. We also use the bus / train which are expensive, but not as much as running a car. It also pays for us to get things delivered which we wouldn't previously have considered/afforded.

RedHelenB · 17/04/2022 14:49

@Aphrael

I've been claiming Universal Credit since September, it's currently at the "Assessment Rate" of £270 per month while I'm waiting for a Work Capability Assessment to determine I'm unfit to work. I've been cleaning PIP for a few years now and I have a Motability car. My payment after this deduction is £240 per month.

So overall I receive £510 and have to pay everything like electric, gas, phone/broadband, Council Taxx2, fuel for the car before I even consider shopping and I am struggling and having to rely on the local Food Bank, although I dislike some of the items they provide.

I sometimes have asked my parents/brother for money - for context my parents receive £2,200 per month and my brother & wife receive £1,750 per month.

While my brother has been willing to provide money and/or food last night he castigated me for being greedy, selfish and behaving in an unacceptable manner. Any advice also would be great.

AIBU - They don't have to support me and don't have to supply anything.
AINBI - Supporting me is a great thing to do as I am really struggling at the moment on the assessment rate.

Are you including your PIP payment in this, ie. £510 for everything bar rent?
Lougle · 17/04/2022 14:50

I don't think their income is relevant to your situation, tbh. There shouldn't be any obligation on them to buffer your income. If they choose to help you it's kind, but if you expect it then I would imagine that is where the frustration is coming in.

Luredbyapomegranate · 17/04/2022 14:50

You are both being unreasonable.

You for expecting them to support you, and your brother for giving you a hard time. If your brother works it’s also odd to refer to his income as ‘receiving’, he works.

inmyslippers · 17/04/2022 14:52

I think it's very kind of them to help you out while they are probably struggling themselves

SnowingInApril · 17/04/2022 14:53

I think there’s a difference between asking parents, who probably expect to help their children out on occasion, to asking a sibling.
Sounds like your brother doesn’t want to offer any financial assistance to you any more. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

TheOriginalEmu · 17/04/2022 14:55

@Blueskythinking123

If you cannot afford to eat I'd suggest you don't have the car and get full PIP payments.
It’s not that simple, you are tied into a contract when you have a motability car.
MyDcAreMarvel · 17/04/2022 14:56

@EatSleepReplete When I do need transport, I get a taxi. We also use the bus / train the only taxi I can get my wheelchair in is a black cab, I can’t access a bus either. So I need my mobility car. That’s great you can access other forms of transport but many disabled people can’t. I have a WAV for my large electric chair.

Ohmygoshyoudontsay · 17/04/2022 14:57

I think your brother and his wife don't earn enough to be giving money away regularly and it was very kind of him to help you.

TheOriginalEmu · 17/04/2022 14:57

@TweetTweetMF

If you can't afford the car can't you return it and use public transport? Or rent a mobility scooter? It's cheaper.
You’re tied into a 3 or 5 year contract.
TaVeryMuchLove · 17/04/2022 14:59

Your original post is worded quite strangely. I feel like there’s a back story here.

Cocomarine · 17/04/2022 15:01

Another one preferring to understand what “receive” means before fully commenting.

Not all will agree, but I do think that having a child is a long term commitment and a parent has the resources to help and the child hasn’t provided a good reason not to (pissing away their money on drugs…) then yeah, I do think it’s reasonable to expect parents to help.

Brother? No. Obviously a decent sibling wouldn’t you starve whilst they drank champagne, but there’s no obligation there.

What’s the deal with your rent?

Herja · 17/04/2022 15:01

The amount you have, is the amount I had for me and 2 children (after I'd payed for housing. You actually have £50pm more) 3 years ago. It was not ideal, but perfectly managable for a year. It certainly didn't need handouts or the foodbank. I appreciate that costs have gone up, so I imagine that your costs today are similar to my family's then.

I strongly suggest you look into council tax support. Your brother sounds rude, but I'd probably be rude too, if someone held the view that they were entitled to my help.

TheOriginalEmu · 17/04/2022 15:02

I can’t use public transport due to it being practically non-existent where I live (1 bus every 2 hours, a 15 minute walk to the nearest bus stop), even 2 taxis a week would cost more than my PIP payment is worth to the nearest town.
My car is my life line so worry every penny for us.

Cocomarine · 17/04/2022 15:03

“While my brother has been willing to provide money and/or food last night he castigated me for being greedy, selfish and behaving in an unacceptable manner“

This is interesting. He’s obviously given you food or money multiple times before. How did you ask? Might it be the request was rather too expectant?

Unsureaboutit9 · 17/04/2022 15:11

Hugely unreasonable to expect family to support you, not unreasonable at all to be struggling or claiming UC though.

Butfirstcoffees · 17/04/2022 15:14

There something a bit off here. Is it a reverse?

Your title doesn't match your actual post. Your title is that he says your are well off. The post appears to more that he is helping you out, but (in his opinion) your general attitude isn't great.

You also seem to left some detail out. Like rent. Does that come from UC or is the UC you talk about after your rent? Or do nor pay rent at all?

And council tax...are you paying a heavily discounted rate?

Do you have a partner or live with anyone?

Its entirely possible that you are better off that your brother. Must piss him off that he is helping you out, if you are a bit of an arse over it.

Butfirstcoffees · 17/04/2022 15:18

Oh ad for the question you asked at the end. They absolutely do not have to support you. Its good that they are helping you.

But that question suggests you believe they are obliged to help you out. They aren't.

Changethetoner · 17/04/2022 15:18

I have no idea how much income my parents or siblings have. You must be really close with them if you discuss these things.

Butfirstcoffees · 17/04/2022 15:20

Also you other posts suggest you share a bedroom with someone.

So how much money are they bringing in?

rwalker · 17/04/2022 15:21

Send the car back take the money instead and get taxi for essential journey .

Butchyrestingface · 17/04/2022 15:22

I sometimes have asked my parents/brother for money - for context my parents receive £2,200 per month and my brother & wife receive £1,750 per month.

Obviously you need to come back to explain the 'received' thing.

Might have helped if you'd enabled voting as well. Sad

Appleseesaw · 17/04/2022 15:29

If you’re the only adult in your home, you should be getting single person discount as well as council tax support. Make sure council tax support know about your PIP.

Nothappyatwork · 17/04/2022 15:33

You literally only get council tax benefit if you have zero income by that they mean literally on unemployment benefit. I didn’t qualify for it because my ex-husband was paying £200 a month in CSM. £100 of which I was having to pay and council tax.

Seraphinesupport · 17/04/2022 15:35

Yabu to expect people to financially help you. Your life is up to you to manage not them.

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