Or is this not how anyone does washing?!

[Sofiegiraffe]

Who is BU here, me or DP?

When I put a wash load in the machine, I pick up each item individually and sort of make a mental note of it so I have a rough idea of what is going into the machine (in case anyone asks where an item of their clothing is, or in case I'm wondering "where's that pair of black trousers of mine?", for example).

DP claims to just "pick up a load of stuff and shove it in". He doesn't put them in one by one. So if it's a darks wash that he's put on, and I ask "are my black trousers in that wash?" or "is DD's pink dress in that colours wash by any chance?", he won't know. All he knows is that he shoved a load of dark or coloured stuff in.

He thinks that's a perfectly reasonable way to do the washing. I think surely no one else does this? Surely most people look at what they're putting in so they at least have a rough idea of what's going in?!

Who is BU? Please settle this once and for all!

Sorry OP. I am in the pick and shove q. No time or headspace to make mental lists. Or need even.

I seem to be in the minority but I do it your way, so I know roughly where things are in the system, or if it have a lot, I will prioritise things.

We have a system

It all gets shoved in, through the week. It all gets dried and dumped together. It is sorted and folded into person piles once per week on Sunday.

If you need something midweek its on you to do it.

If its not in your room its in the wash.

I am working on not being central to all this.

Grab and shove, if something is missing, I wear/tell person to wear something else. It will emerge from an abyss of washing machine/laundry basket in its own good time

If anyone needs something specifically (eg uniform) then they put it in the empty machine and me/dp add either whites or darks to whatever's in there when doing the next load

Shove it all in.

I don't have to know at all times where each specific item of clothing is. It's one of three places - in the washing basket, in the machine/on the line, hanging in a cupboard.

I don't fold everything! Only jumpers with long sleeves, I once took a load out to find a sleeve wrapped round a bunch of stuff and really stretched 😊

I wash in 30 degrees and shove it all in. Your Dh is completely reasonable thinking that he's put all darks in the washing machine (me or my husband won't even bother).

If you want to sort what individual items goes into the washing machine, thats your hangup and job. Don't expect him to have your same standards.

@Toothsil

I seem to be in the minority but I do it your way, so I know roughly where things are in the system, or if it have a lot, I will prioritise things.

Minority is best

@bubblesbubbles11

honestly, who has time to kneel and pay hommage at the door of a washing machine, gingerly putting things in item by item??

Fuck me some posters 😂

"Who on earth has the time for this"?

Repeatedly.

Despite me saying (repeatedly): it takes NO extra time. It's a natural thing that I just do without really applying conscious effort.

I know what goes in each wash too OP. I have three laundry bins (darks, whites, colours) and do about 10-12 loads a week so I'll mentally check off that I've put my son's uniform or husband's work shirts in, and if I can't fit everything in the machine I'll have a rough idea of what got left out of the wash. To be fair my life feels like a relentlessly endless laundry cycle so nothing takes more than 2-3 days to get washed and put back in the wardrobe.

Yes, OP, every item goes in individually, partly to enable a pockets check and to confirm colour or delicates are appropriate to the wash. Automatically remember everything as I do when it gets dried so the questions 'where is X' has an answer depending on the washed - dried - bedroom stage of it's cleaning journey. People ask as they often have items required for specific activities and preferences for social events.

@BeforeGodAndAllTheFish

Yeah sorry, you're the insane one in this scenario.

His way is how everyone does it. Who has time to/cares enough about washing to look at each thing individually.

If you've put something into the washing basket, it'll come back out eventually! Dont need to keep track.

Everyone except the 4-5 or so on this thread who do it my way. So not everyone, then.

Who does so little laundry they can make mental notes?! Surely it’s easier to think “right, my trousers aren’t in the wardrobe, therefore they’re either in the basket, in the machine or on the line”.

Team shove here, though I'm vaguely aware of what I'm hauling out of the laundry basket

Yabu I just shove in whites colours or darks , couldn’t tell you what individual items are put in

Of course it takes extra time

Team DH.
Separate into light/dark/cool wash etc, shove it in then dry it - that's the extent of my laundry responsibilities. If anyone wants to know where their 'xyz' is, it's up to them to find out.

Team OP here! Household of 11 and I always mentally note what is going in. Especially if the load has Ds's uniform in or football shirts that I don't tumble dry.

I don't separate anything I put things in individually. Shove it all in here and then from the washing machine into the dryer... Never any idea where anything is just that I did washing today so if it was put in after that it's not washed if it was in before its in the clean basket.
Don't even have time to hang it out let alone pop in separately so I know where it all is.

You have to sort it properly anyway so in doing that I know what's in the machine. I wash my clothes, my dd's clothes and DH's in separate batches anyway so if I'm just washing my stuff it'll be either a light or dark wash of my stuff. Same with their clothes. And if I'm doing towels/ bedding that's all that's in the machine. There's only 3 of us so we don't do a lot of washes, maybe 3 a week. It's quite easy to keep on top of as clothes are either in the washing baskets (2 - ours and dd's) the ironing basket or clean and put away in wardrobe/drawers.
I always wash socks in their matching pairs too to try to minimise the "missing sock issue".
Tbf I'm pretty sure most people must go through each item to ensure you don't throw a brand new red sock in with the white blouses etc!??

YABU. I'm a shover too....

@urrrgh46

Team OP here! Household of 11 and I always mentally note what is going in. Especially if the load has Ds's uniform in or football shirts that I don't tumble dry.

Welcome to the team

I put things in individually, checking pockets for tissues and unravelling things, pulling sleeves through, etc. Not because I'm a domestic goddess - I just see that as the norm. As a result, I do know what goes in the washer. Do those who bung piles in not have frequent mishaps?

Definitely YABU!