I regretted it very much because when I discovered that my husband was cheating on me, it made it very hard to leave.
And yes before anyone says it, yes do know that theoretically I could have taken the children and presented to the council as homeless. But the, in a trice , my husband would have taken the kids and I would have lost them. So I chose to stay until I was back working full time and I could afford to keep the children.
But I’d lost my previous career and needed to start all over again with my own business . Now I’m in my 60s and I’m working about 50 hours a week trying to make end meet.
IME lots of women stay in bad unhappy marriages because they have become financially dependent on their husbands. Many of us all face poverty in retirement because we stopped paying into our pension.
For some reason, men paying into their pension is seen as an essential, whereas for women it’s seen as a luxury.
I know you think that divorce won’t happen to you OP and I’m sorry to even mention it. But statically it’s about a 33% overall so if it’s not you, it’s your sister or your best friend.
Another reason not to go part time is that many men resent it . They say that are happy when the kids are small and they know it’s hard work 24/7. ( You’ll notice that none of the “ full time dads” you know have three under five. They are all SAHP to one or two NT primary aged children).
But once the kids are all in school and the women are working 20 hours a week in their paid job and 40 hours a week in unpaid work, some men start to get resentful. To them, the 40 hours unpaid work is seem as valueless and invisible. All they can see is the wages for her 20 hours compared to his 40.
Then they start to talk about “ sharing the load “ and the stress of “financial responsibility “. Which is code for “ you need to earn more as well as doing 90% of everything else “.
So then she goes back to work FT ( often in a fairly low paid job ) and is exhausted because she still does nearly everything at home and for the children.
And she has to take all the sick days and organise Child care are in the holidays, because Mr Big Job is too busy and important to do this kinds of womens work.
So she can never get a a better paid job as she’s exhausted from working 80 hours a week . Meanwhile her husband goes on about how little she contributes and that she’s not as slim, fun and interesting as the 25 year old girls in the office,
You can see why many marriages fall apart over this.