To be upset at husband?

[Nomunkat]

DH has asked me for nudes several times in the past, which I've always refused (risks of pictures being leaked, of anyone coming across them, etc...)
He also said he would never send nudes so he agrees.

Today while I was naked, he asked me to turn around. I looked back and caught him taking pictures of me.

I felt kinda off and upset (I have been sexually molested by my ex and he knows it). I asked him to delete the picture and told him not to do it again.

He apologised but also implied that it was okay because he is my husband.

I'm not sure if I'm overreacting and whether he is right or not.

He is normally very respectful of my boundaries.

@Nomunkat

He kept trying to force me to forgive him this morning Raising his voice at me and standing by the bed to intimidate me Telling me off for being upset and not wanting to reconcile Telling me what I was doing was wrong Huffing and puffing Murmuring for God sake under his breath

That pissed me off even further

That is emotional abuse. What is wrong with him? Does he push you do things sexually that you’re not comfortable with? Are you happy with him, because I find that behaviour childish and abusive. It’s not the behaviour of a loving partner who should want the best for you. 🙁

You did say he was normally very respectful of your boundaries, OP and at the same time he asked you several times. Asking over and over when you have said NO is not respectful at all.

@Nomunkat

Thank you for your replies.

We are always together as we both wfh so I don't understand the need for pictures either.

To share online with his mates and strangers. That's why it matters to him. He gets status amongst other abusive men by doing it.

Sorry OP but this behaviour is abusive. It won't get any better, it will only get worse. You need to ditch him asap.

@Nomunkat

He kept trying to force me to forgive him this morning Raising his voice at me and standing by the bed to intimidate me Telling me off for being upset and not wanting to reconcile Telling me what I was doing was wrong Huffing and puffing Murmuring for God sake under his breath

That pissed me off even further

Has he said WHY this is so important to him?

He asked for nudes. You said no (which should have been the end of it) but you also explained why and he understands the reasons and they're consistent with what he'd do if he were asked. He also knows this hurts you in particular because of your past. But he continues to ask you again and again.

He took a pic of you literally behind your back after you had withheld consent several times. When you confronted him, he minimised your concerns and basically told you you have no rights where he's concerned (although this isn't a mutual situation - he's already said he wouldn't give you nudes of him if you wanted them).

Now he's spending a LOT of time and effort badgering and bullying you to say you forgive him. Yelling at you, blaming you, trying to shame you or gaslight you or make you think you're overreacting. He KNOWS he's holding you to a completely different standard than himself. He KNOWS you've been clear about your boundaries and haven't changed your mind over time. He KNOWS this hurts you, someone he supposedly cares about. He KNOWS it's damaging the relationship. He KNOWS, with this latest thing of taking the pic in secret, that he's destroyed your trust for him and quite likely ruined the ehtire relationship. But still he persists.

WHY? WHAT on Earth is SO important about having a nude picture of you?

Jesus op, that is appalling. I couldn't stay in a house with a creep like that. He sounds awful.

He feels your body is his property. If he's allowed to take pictures against your will because he's your husband (unspoken "it's my right") then you have to ask yourself what other rights he feels he has regarding access to your body.

Thank you everyone for your help and input.
It helped put things into better perspective for me

Being married doesn’t make it okay. If anything he should show you more respect, you’ve said no and he should respect your wishes.