Why do people make these types of comment? Is it purely to show off?

[dissertationhell]

I have a friend who will say things like:

'We just bought a new tv - guess how much it cost?' Then will go on to tell me a really expensive amount and wait for my reaction.

'We just renewed our life insurance so if anything happen to partner I will get £1 million' awaits my reaction.

'I made this amount this week' awaits my reaction.

'Guess how much is in my everyday account? Guess how much is in my savings' no idea, she tells me, awaits response.

'Do you like my bag/hair/jacket etc.?' As soon as I enter the door.

If I speak about doing anything, she has to do it too. For instance, I say I'm taking daughter to the cinema, well her son is going with his gran. I'm getting my nails done, so is she. I've gutted the house out, well she's been productive too.

It's actually getting really annoying to the point I am avoiding her more and more.

Would you find these comments odd/annoying/boastful or AIBU?

My brother is like this. If he's got something new he won't shut up about it. I don't care how much your new car cost. I don't care if you're planning a new job that will earn you 40k. You'll still be a miserable cunt. I'd rather do the job I love and earn peanuts.

He also comments constantly on what other relatives buy and why it isn't as good as his. Eg "oh did you hear sis got a new car. It's the baby version of mine. Its just not as good because xyz"
Or he's so obviously jealous. "Dad bought a new canoe. Apparently it was only £200. Must be so nice to have £200 just laying around to spend on a canoe"

She's either desperate for attention or she thinks you have everything and she's trying to show you that she is every bit as good as you are.

I'd just say 'that's nice' and change the subject, or shrug to show you really aren't bothered. Hopefully she'll get the idea.

She sounds very insecure.

She sounds really insecure and annoying. In future, when she brags about how much she has or the cost of something she’s bought, just say ‘Oh is that all?’ When she asks if you like something she’s bought say ‘not really my cup of tea, but if you like it that’s all that matters.’ Hopefully she’ll soon give up trying to impress you.

"Guess how much is in my bank account?" Seriously? I mean it sounds like there's something wrong with her.

I had a friend once who respond to any boring flexes with, "I don't care". She said it in this flat way that managed to be funny at the same time.

Why are you friends with such a tit?

Very vulgar in the extreme, but if I deigned to respond it might be along the lines of:
"Goodness, I have no idea, I haven't bought a tv since 2006. But as long as you feel you have got value for money, that's the main thing."

@mjf981

She’s insecure and thinks by bragging and making you jealous, she will feel better than you, and therefore about herself. Ignore and phase her out. She won’t change.

I think this is it also.

i always respond to these type of things with ' one millions dollars' (even though we are in the uk) they soon get the hint

@lurker69 - l like that 😆

If you don't like someone then they aren't a friend. Reduce the time you spend together, say hello politely and go out to find people who you actually enjoy spending time with.

I irritated my brother once on something like this.
He had bought a really fancy, in-your-face suit. Tacky was my private thought. 4,9,9 he said. [Something like that]. 4 pounds 99 I said innocently?
He had a sense of humour failure...

As for your friend, it would depend how much I generally liked her company...
If you like her you could just acknowledge in disinterested way, distract and move on.

I’d find those comments wearing, and would think she was insecure. I’d tolerate some of it (I do quite like guessing games) but would certainly tell her I wasn’t interested in her bank accounts.

Some of these responses are funny, but it really comes down to whether you like her or not. It sounds as though she’s insecure so I doubt this will stop. We all have to put up with stuff like this from family members but not friends.

I had a friend like this. She knew that her husband was very unhappy in their marriage and was constantly on the verge of leaving. I thought her constant 'one upping' of other people was a desperate attempt to convince herself she had it all and was happy. Because of that I (and some other friends) tolerated it.

Eventually her husband left her. As a group we rallied round and supported her for many years. But even 15 years after he left she is still so angry and bitter about the split that I've come to the conclusion she is just a toxic and unhappy person and I'm letting the 'friendship' slide. For over 30 years it's been negative and one sided. I wish I'd done it sooner.

@xsquared

It's annoying and she's an elevenerifer

If you can bear her otherwise, just nod and smile and change the subject.

Thank you for teaching me this expression I had not heard!

One of my friendship groups has a woman like this but specifically about travelling and will always manage to bring it back to how when she was in a particular country someone told her how wonderful she was.

She actually has a heart of gold but it can get a bit wearing when I have very little money myself and can’t afford to do as much travelling as I’d like.

Fuck I'd have ditched her ass by now.

I agree that she's an elevenerifer.

’We just bought a new tv - guess how much it cost?'
No

Honestly I don't know anyone that does this

I wish I knew someone like this - I’d have such fun with it!

People like this want to feel important and superior to everyone else and put people down.
A person once said to me:"I probably pay more income tax than you actually earn".
I was shocked because I had only talked to this person literally for 10 minutes.
I wish I had been quick enough to come back with "actually I've never needed to work, family money, dontcha know"""
( not true of course🤣

Wtf is an elevenerifer?

Your "friend" sounds nuts.
Why are you even considering spending time with them?

elevenerife: www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Elevenerife

I went to Tenerife for my holidays.

That's nothing, I went to Elevenerife.

I had not heard of it either but I like it