Do mums have to bake

[Worryworry887]

I dislike baking (although I do like cooking!), but my husband does most of the cooking at the moment, and don’t really see the point of it - very messy, and you end up with lots of cake you then have to eat (not great for the waistline!) and just don’t enjoy it. However, I feel a great pressure since becoming a mum that I should be baking with the children…this especially comes to the front of my mind when family come up (in laws) and there is a great flurry of the women in the WhatsApp group (mum and sis in law) deciding what they are going to bake to bring to ours, what ingredients they are going to bring to bake with my daughter. BIL has also got a new girlfriend and she joins in with it as well. I always end up feeling guilty and a bit self conscious that I just leave them to it, and also pressure as a women to join in with all this baking, which I hate. I’ve never made a birthday cake for my daughter, always bought or other people make it. I did try and do baking with her once but ended up with me doing it all and her going off the watch TV. So, yes, your children are missing out if you don’t bake all the time, with them, or, no, who cares. And does anyone else feel this?

I never baked cakes for school cake sales. I just donated the cost of the ingredients plus a bit more when I bought some.

Nope. Not a requirement.
You can get your kids to help with the cooking sometimes or let them watch you cook - same benefits as baking with them, no unwanted cake to eat.

You said you like cooking so just teach the children how to make some simple dishes and encourage them to get creative with recipes

Get a, 3 ingredients baking recipe book.

I hate baking but love cooking.

I cooked with mine. A much more useful skill I think

Cakes and biscuits are v unhealthy, so I certainly didn’t make them on a regular basis. But if I was making a cake for a treat, I roped the kids in to help, as it was good for their maths when they were little - weighing, measuring, counting tablespoons of ingredients, setting oven temp etc.
Both DDs are grown up now. One is a keen (and good) baker, the other doesn’t bake at all.
Baking is not compulsory, OP, just one activity among many that may be enjoyable and educational for young children.

I baked and cooked loads with my DC.

I never did imagination style playing. Couldn't stand it, the most I'd do is pretend to drink a cup of tea from a tea set. Didn't do dollies or any play like that.

I did baking though, and crafts and read books and lots of days out. Do what works for you OP and don't beat yourself up about it.

If your inlaws are happy doing it and your child enjoys it let them get on with it.

I quite like baking, but loathe cooking. DP does all the cooking, thank goodness. He can teach DS to cook.

However, I do not like baking with a small child. I don't understand how or why people do. I tried it once when he was almost 3, thinking he'd surely be old enough now for it to be enjoyable, and it was not. So no, I don't bake unless I'm on my own.

@luxxlisbon

Of course you have to bake if you are a mum.

You also must have no interests other than cleaning your house, sewing your own clothes and definitely don’t have a full time job either!

Dads are okay though, they don’t have to change their entire personalities when they have a child.

This made me chuckle. 🤣

Pretty sure there is something about to pass through parliament in the next few weeks making it mandatory, so you'd better brush your skills up or risk a large fine for not complying.

Disgraceful, I've never heard of a mum who doesn't make bread and cakes for and with their children on a daily basis.

My husband is the cook in our family and he was the one who baked with DD. She now does it by herself. Her df taught her all the cooking skills, I burn water.

I can do some baking but mostly because of the cost and excess food (only three of us, so we palm off the results to friends and family) I don't bother.

Of course not.

You do however have the option of doing something like cornflake cakes or flapjacks which is pretty much the same thing, without having too many ingredients or any measuring!

Baking, not so much.
I did like cooking with my DC though , so they were involved with the meal making process.
Less waste than the wonky cupcakes even the DC don't want to eat, and encourages them to try new things.

If you want to be a good parent then you need to engage in some activities with your children, ideally (but accepting that it isn’t always) ones that they enjoy. Said activities will often be met with resistance, tantrums and general indifference. Occasionally there will be a moment of happiness and family cohesion. Hold onto those rare moments and use them to block out the dark times. Said activities can be anything you all ruddy well want.

I’m voting YABU for being so sexist! C’mon, break the mould.

My friend (a very good baker) said to me once that I make the best sandwiches in the world.
That'll do for me.
I am an appalling baker unless you like brownie style cakes.

Well no, you don’t have to bake just because you’re a mum. But it is a good and fairly easy activity to do with DC (maths skills from measuring, motor skills, basic science etc… or just sensory fun for really little ones).

It’s not the only activity with these benefits though. And there is no rule saying dads can’t bake, or that nursery doesn’t cover these areas of development 🤷‍♀️.

I never cooked or baked with any of mine.

I don't bake anyway. I probably could, but it isn't something I have any great interest in.

It’s just an example of something to do with the kids; to bond and communicate. Doesn’t have to be baking. It could be walking, or playing Lego together.

I love baking but my friend is absolutely useless in the kitchen. I think over the last 15 years she managed to get some recipes well but she definitely doesn't enjoy it. I don't think her DSs suffered from shop bought cakes.

Since her boys are a bit older, can read and help they do a bit more, I think they are the bakers and she is the kitchen runner for them.

Don't worry. Baking is a nice way to spend time with a child but hardly essential for their upbringing. Maybe try to let it go for a while and when she is older and she wants to, then let her.

Cooking is an essential skill and I think a child should be encouraged to help and learn.

I'm not good at baking or cooking, and don't particularly enjoy it. So I never did it much with my kids. They're all teens/young adults now and can all cook though, despite my neglect. Or maybe because of my neglect, because once they were old enough I told them to cook/bake themselves. And they all can, can follow a recipe and are quite good at baking. They can also cook dinner. I'm a winner here, they cook, I eat!

I didn't like doing messy stuff with toddlers - 5 minutes of fun for them and loads of cleaning/tidying up the mess for me. I'm not good housework either, so found it tedious.

Pushing a baby out of your vagina (or sun roof for those of us who had sections) turns you into Mary Berry.

If it didn't then there is something wrong with you.

Baking with children gives them experience with weighing, measuring, counting reading and science all while having some fun. With younger ones keep it simple like rice krispie buns , fairy cakes, flapjacks, cheesy twists or even pancakes. One of mine loved making the batter then asking me to try animal shapes in the pan ( using different sized spoonfuls and shaping before it set)Rabbits, turtles and fish worked best. If you don't want to bake other crafts can be educational too, knitting, decoupage, making your own cards, pressing flowers or making wreaths or other floral arrangements or even beadwork. One of the best things about any of these us that the children get to spend time with you

Like so many other things, it's lovely if you can do this with your kids. However, we can't be all things to all people. Let those who love to bake bake, you share whatever activities you like to do with your children. That way, they get the benefit of a variety of activities.
Unless someone is deliberately making you feel bad for not being a baker then stop worrying and play to your strengths.
If someone is needling you about it then just explain that you wouldn't dream of depriving your child/children if their masterly baking skills and smile.

You do not have to bake.