Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours from hell

183 replies

Fullofhotcrossbuns · 14/04/2022 07:36

I am looking for advice or options to help me against these awful people, here is a list so I do not drip feed.

House hold rubbish just thrown out into the street the latest addition are nappies.

House hold rubbish and nappies in the back garden which is now coming over to our garden we are concerned about rats.

Banging on the walls until 10:30-11pm most nights.

Drug use

Drug dealing

We went away and DH stayed home on few weekends ago they destroyed the front garden, on the Saturday they were kicking a ball against the house aiming for the windows whilst hanging around on our door step, Sunday morning they tried to break into the house but the dog started barking DH had kept it quiet to see how far they will go.

The people who visit them block our car in and refuse to move, stare at us when we are leaving the house, swear at us or make hand gestures.

Regularly have to listen to DA to the woman and kids when reported to the Police they asked what is the problem what do we expect them to do?

Benefit fraud.

Leave 4 and 6 year old outside screaming in the street during nice weather.

If driving in the area they will abuse us and the male does a “come fight me” gesture with his hands and arms.

It is all very draining and no one is willing to help us

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 14/04/2022 10:10

The idea mentioned about putting all "problem families" in an ASBO village is horrendous. Imagine being born into one of those families through no fault of your own and that being your start in life. Or being a child moved there with your inadequate parents. Horrible idea and would perpetuate all kinds of misery

It was put forth in Holland..
But it seems that many ''Problem'' families are generational.
It seems a lifestyle ''Choice'' for many.

As it currently stands, they ''Inflict all kinds of misery'' on their unfortunate neighbours.

There can be unpleasantness and bullying and intimidation even in very wealthy areas.
Decent neighbours are a total blessing, and are down to sheer luck.

Chiefofstaff · 14/04/2022 10:11

I’m guessing you have already made a formal complaint to your HA? The only way anything seems to get done in my HA is if you make a formal complaint. Then they have to follow a set complaints procedure which involves certain things being done to deadlines.

Nidan2Sandan does the HA have a duty of care to try sort something like this out with offers of mediation, issuing written warnings and building up a case against the antisocial tenants? My HA isn’t great by any means but I’m pretty sure that they’d be doing more than the OPs.

glinner4prez · 14/04/2022 10:12

It must be hell for the children living there. I would write to every politician in your area with a detailed description of what's been happening and say you're interested in going to the press because you've had enough.

mumda · 14/04/2022 10:14

Those suggesting selling are perhaps unaware that neighbour disputes need declaring.

Have you met with your local MP and shown photos/video?

barbrahunter · 14/04/2022 10:15

The other problem is the risk of 'reprisal' if you escalate the complaints. The Op's poor Husband has already been physically manhandled, as I understand it. And as someone upthread said, look at that case in the papers a couple of weeks ago about that man who stabbed his neighbour to death over parking. Please don't underestimate the fear of physical threat that accompanies the extreme anti social behaviour. These people are unboundaried and unpredictable.

oakleaffy · 14/04/2022 10:16

@MyChocOrange

I don't want to worry you but if you've got all this history you have to declare it to purchasers and no one will buy your house. By the sounds of it it can't get any worse so go to the papers? Or get friendly with some "travellers" who'll sort them out for you.
I doubt that Travellers would want to get involved, but maybe a ''Buy to let'' landlord would buy it?...
icelolly12 · 14/04/2022 10:18

In a volunteer role I had, I spoke with a man who gave me a real sob story about how he was homeless and not getting any help from the council. I was outraged and tried to help- how can this be happening in this day and age?! Turns out, after speaking with the homeless dept of the LA, and doing digging on google, he'd been a severe problem neighbour - drug dealing, mates turning up at all hours, loud parties, anti social behaviour and made his neighbours lives a misery to the extent a court order was applied and he was evicted from the property. The house was boarded up, and he was put in temporary accommodation - he did the same thing in the temporary accommodation and then was given yet another third chance and ruined it by behaving just as badly...of course none of this was his fault Hmm He has now moved region to apply for housing as his only options were private rent and of course no landlord would touch him with a bargepole, so now he gets to move (with funds given to him - including a bond paid by the council) and have a fresh start - poor neighbours. I can only see the same pattern repeating itself.

I don't think there is an easy solution to these problem neighbours, other than making stricter anti social behaviour laws, and we need sufficient police capacity and prisons to enforce this, plus it doesn't address the root socio-economic causes (and bad parenting).

Frazzled2207 · 14/04/2022 10:19

I wouldn't bother with your MP but your local councillor should be able to help. There was a recent similar thread where the local councillor got swift action taken by the council by walking past the property and didn't name the Mnetter.

OP I would be sinking all my energies and money into trying to move.

Disgraceful that LAs are not able to turf these people out. Even if they did you have to feel sorry for whoever gets them next Awful people.

Cyw2018 · 14/04/2022 10:25

@Frazzled2207

I wouldn't bother with your MP but your local councillor should be able to help. There was a recent similar thread where the local councillor got swift action taken by the council by walking past the property and didn't name the Mnetter.

OP I would be sinking all my energies and money into trying to move.

Disgraceful that LAs are not able to turf these people out. Even if they did you have to feel sorry for whoever gets them next Awful people.

Local councillors will be busy at the moment preparing for the local elections on May, but this might mean they are keen to make a positive impact to make themselves look good.
barbrahunter · 14/04/2022 10:27

I need to step away from this thread now OP because it's started to trigger me, even though I left my neighbours from hell behind 18 years ago.
I do wish you peace in the future, OP.

Vimto1991 · 14/04/2022 10:28

First house we bought was joined with HA, I wouldn’t normally mind, I grew up in a council house and my parents still live there. However they did nothing for the stereotype, they were loud, used drugs, and shouted at their kids all through the day and night.
I couldn’t hack it, it wasn’t good for my mental health. We bought the house in April and had sold in September (moved by Feb), we actually managed to make money rather than lose it BUT I didn’t care if I lost money, it was better than losing my sanity.
Is there really nothing you can do in terms of moving?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 14/04/2022 10:29

Disgraceful that LAs are not able to turf these people out

They can - but then there's usually an obligation to place them somewhere else ("because why should the kids suffer?") and then the whole thing starts again

Probably the only real answer would be to put known antisocial families all in one area, but since housing doesn't come available en masse like that, this too is difficult

Original poster
Fullofhotcrossbuns · 14/04/2022 10:29

@Inthesameboatatmo

Op I also have a shared ownership property with the HA. The HA have acted on all the problems I've had with a certain neighbour and people who frequently visit their house. Keep diaries, timeliness etc. Council for the rubbish tell them you've seen rats if necessary and also for the drug use and anti social behaviour also council for noise pollution out of normal hours etc. Social services for any kids and the domestic abuse and neglect towards them. Keep ringing the police they will eventually do something it all just needs to be logged. Camera for the house and dash cam for the car when driving about.
I requested a body cam off the Police for when we want to walk to the shop Smile
OP posts:
h0tXberns · 14/04/2022 10:30

@oakleaffy I agree with all your points about awful neighbours. I've sold up and moved once myself, because neighbours destroyed our quality of life.

The ASBO village idea is profoundly wrong though because even if the adults are "making a choice", the children aren't. Lots of the adults will be victims too, eg OP's female neighbour.

Original poster
Fullofhotcrossbuns · 14/04/2022 10:31

@Vimto1991

First house we bought was joined with HA, I wouldn’t normally mind, I grew up in a council house and my parents still live there. However they did nothing for the stereotype, they were loud, used drugs, and shouted at their kids all through the day and night. I couldn’t hack it, it wasn’t good for my mental health. We bought the house in April and had sold in September (moved by Feb), we actually managed to make money rather than lose it BUT I didn’t care if I lost money, it was better than losing my sanity. Is there really nothing you can do in terms of moving?
Not at the moment no we are stuck here
OP posts:
Cultureclub · 14/04/2022 10:34

Assuming you are in the UK, if so most police forces will have an asb and vulnerability forum.It consists of monthly interagency update meetings where agencies are held to account for how they manage these type of cases.
Check if your area has one and is your situation being dealt with through it.

MattDamon · 14/04/2022 10:40

Are you reporting incidents to the HA online or by phone? I find the phone calls go 'missing', no actual record kept. My HA has an anti-social behaviour form on their website. I report through that each time.

Agree about reporting seeing rats to the council. It's the only way they'll act on the rubbish.

Original poster
Fullofhotcrossbuns · 14/04/2022 10:41

@mumda

Those suggesting selling are perhaps unaware that neighbour disputes need declaring.

Have you met with your local MP and shown photos/video?

No meeting but plenty of emails which now get ignored
OP posts:
Original poster
Fullofhotcrossbuns · 14/04/2022 10:44

[quote h0tXberns]@oakleaffy I agree with all your points about awful neighbours. I've sold up and moved once myself, because neighbours destroyed our quality of life.

The ASBO village idea is profoundly wrong though because even if the adults are "making a choice", the children aren't. Lots of the adults will be victims too, eg OP's female neighbour. [/quote]
I use to think she was a victim but over time she is just as bad as him.
She loves the drama and only has kids to stop herself having to get a job.

OP posts:
MrsMoastyToasty · 14/04/2022 10:45

Complain Complain Complain.

Go through the official complaints department of the police, council etc.
Find out the name of the top person in each of these authorities. Email them.
Threaten to take up the complaint with the local government ombudsman, the housing ombudsman etc etc.

MollyRover · 14/04/2022 10:48

@oakleaffy

The idea mentioned about putting all "problem families" in an ASBO village is horrendous. Imagine being born into one of those families through no fault of your own and that being your start in life. Or being a child moved there with your inadequate parents. Horrible idea and would perpetuate all kinds of misery

It was put forth in Holland..
But it seems that many ''Problem'' families are generational.
It seems a lifestyle ''Choice'' for many.

As it currently stands, they ''Inflict all kinds of misery'' on their unfortunate neighbours.

There can be unpleasantness and bullying and intimidation even in very wealthy areas.
Decent neighbours are a total blessing, and are down to sheer luck.

It wasn't just "put forth" in Holland, a number of these villages exist all over the Netherlands.

nltimes.nl/2014/05/09/container-town-rotterdams-worst-families

The standard of living is high here, the social safety net is open to everyone and we pay very high income taxes to ensure that this is the case. Generational problems or not everyone has the same rights and responsibilities. It is everyone's responsibility to uphold everyone else's right to not have nuisance neighbours.

Fulmine · 14/04/2022 10:50

Carry on reporting to the police every time you see evidence of a crime - that includes drug taking and drug dealing, vandalism, benefit fraud, theft, etc. Check through the DVLA website if their car is insured and, if not, report every time you see them driving it. If the police won't deal with it, escalate upwards. Report to social services every time you see the children screaming outside.

Fulmine · 14/04/2022 10:52

I assume other neighbours are suffering a lot of this? Is there a chance of getting them together and asking for a meeting with whoever is in charge at the police station? Make it clear that this is not for them to fob you off with excuses, it is for them to come up with a strategic plan to enforce the law and protect people in your neighbourhood.

JudgeJ · 14/04/2022 10:52

@Womeninblack

I’m so sorry OP. They sound awful! Best you can do in this scenario Is move I’m afraid
Because moving is such an easy solution, isn't it! It's not something that can be done overnight as many on here seem to think.
riceuten · 14/04/2022 10:57

The police can take action against: drug dealing, drug taking, house breaking (particularly if you have video of any of these)
The police cannot take action against: noise (this is the responsibility of the Council), rubbish dumping (council/HA), benefit fraud (the DWP), ASB (Council/HA).

Do you want my honest opinion? Move/sell. Councils and HAs have such an enormous task to assemble the evidence to take out an ASBO or evict people for breach of tenancy, that they rarely bother. And the former have had their funding cut massively. The police are reluctant to get involved in stuff unless it's a quick win for them.