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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

People who tell you exact cost of things they can no longer afford..

37 replies

bettysboob · 13/04/2022 19:52

The cost of living crisis is biting everyone so I assume this is connected to that. For example today I was told ‘I have x but I can’t afford it anymore because it costs y. Life is just too hard’. I assume the person was just requesting empathy which I do understand but still find it a little odd.

As a reply, I just made a sad face and waited for the conversation to move on (which it did - after a ‘and then there is a that now costs b’ after which I made another sad face’)

OP posts:

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 13/04/2022 20:38

@bettysboob

I would have felt more able to engage in a general conversation about the rises as it could have been brought round to the current affairs that are driving the problem. As it was it felt more like a dramatic pronouncement

But the current affairs driving the problem might not be what the person wants to talk about - if anything is there any advice or support you can offer?

"I can't afford x this week"

"Yeh it's cos of y"

Not helpful. Shows you're clever I suppose.

Newjobformoremoney · 13/04/2022 20:39

@bettysboob I’m sorry for the direct question, I just fine this fascinating.
Do You usually struggling with empathy? Or
You find reaching out to people and understanding their view very tiring and thus don’t engage over text?
You say you don’t need to worry about the cost of living increase on a day to day level but do you understand both the micro and macro level impact ? Or is it the specific talk of money that you find uncomfortable
I’m sorry, I’m struggling to understand your AIBU.

TonkaTruckduck · 13/04/2022 20:40

Surely if they didn't know what it cost before, and what it costs now, they wouldn't be giving it up and having a moan. I don't really see what you're getting at

mrziggycoco · 13/04/2022 20:40

@bettysboob

No reason why they shouldn’t - it’s just very specific. On here for example, people may post ‘it’s a pain that I spend x% of my money on y - what can I do?’ but then when posters ask the monetary values to try and help to see where corners can be cut the person clams up.

You've noticed that people enjoy being victims. Well done.

Gardeningcreature · 13/04/2022 20:43

Surely it's just general conversation like talking about the weather.
I bought a stamp this week and commented on how it had gone up 10 pence since the last time I bought one.
I hope the shop assistant t didn't think I was a moaning so and so. I was merely shocked as it was only about a month ago that I paid 10p less. It won't bankrupt me but the cost of living is rocketing and for many, many people it is extremely worrying.

LakieLady · 13/04/2022 20:46

One of my friends has stopped putting lights on during the evening.

She's burning Yankee candles instead.

And she still uses her tumble drier, even though she has a garden with a washing line.

Original poster

bettysboob · 13/04/2022 20:51

Not really regarding advice. The person concerned has had a lot of help (financial and otherwise) from people we both know so I don’t really know what else I could add to their direct issue. On the general issues - yes I could contribute to a conversation.

OP posts:

PierresPotato · 13/04/2022 20:55

I remember the shock when the normal butter shot up over a period and finally crossed the one pound mark.
I may have mentioned it a few times.

Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 13/04/2022 21:00

It is very clearly a way of giving clear examples of how it is. I'm not sure what you're saying, but the reason for it is clear.

If one says, it's clear that the third reich was a fascist idea, but without giving any supporting data one would be called out on it.

The cost of butter was £1.00 but now it's nearly £2.00 ergo the cost of living has clearly increased.

It's obvious that why people do this.

SweetSakura · 13/04/2022 23:36

Is your concern/irritation that you feel that they are digging for financial help? Otherwise I don't really understand the issue, they're just stating a fact surely

grapewines · 13/04/2022 23:48

@NotTheOW

I think when you are counting the pennies you notice the exact price more?

Yeah, this is how I feel. It's pretty soul destroying, but I probably wouldn't talk about it to people I knew wouldn't need to make cuts. The sad face would just annoy me. I'd find it condescending, so I'd rather just keep the struggle to myself.

PopOfNothing · 13/04/2022 23:57

@WakeMeUpWhenTheyHaveGone

So, people who are well off enough to weather the financial storm should not be allowed to comment on the fact that prices are going up across the board and how that will affect them, amongst other people who have less money?

I think there needs to be some sensitivity, someone who I know was moaning to parents at a state school on how much it costs to fill up her SUV with gas, she and her husband are partners in a law firm who live a very affluent lifestyle. If they were in conversation with their rich friends, fair enough but I think the decent thing to do would be keep quiet if you are in the company of others who could be struggling to afford the basics.

I am fed up with the cost of living but I am not on the bones of my backside, I still have enough for bills and some disposable income. I would never moan, there are some at my work doing it real tough. I was a solo mum for many years only just making ends meets so I know now I am in a fortunate position in that I do not have to count every penny since DD left home.

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