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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People who tell you exact cost of things they can no longer afford..

37 replies

bettysboob · 13/04/2022 19:52

The cost of living crisis is biting everyone so I assume this is connected to that. For example today I was told ‘I have x but I can’t afford it anymore because it costs y. Life is just too hard’. I assume the person was just requesting empathy which I do understand but still find it a little odd.

As a reply, I just made a sad face and waited for the conversation to move on (which it did - after a ‘and then there is a that now costs b’ after which I made another sad face’)

OP posts:
FelicityBeedle · 13/04/2022 19:53

I don’t think I understand what you’re trying to get at.
Why shouldn’t people have a wee moan?

rubyslippers · 13/04/2022 19:53
Confused
Hunderland · 13/04/2022 20:00

I think that's a perfectly valid conversation in the current circumstances. Like saying how much the cost of petrol is, or the rise in food.

Not sure why you think it's weird tbh Confused

EinsteinaGogo · 13/04/2022 20:07

Do you mean something like,

"I have a hot tub, but I can't afford to run it any more because it now costs £200 a month to heat"?

"I have a tumble dryer, but I don't put it one because it now costs £4 a load"

Seems like a reasonable thing for them to be moaning about to me.

Original poster
bettysboob · 13/04/2022 20:08

No reason why they shouldn’t - it’s just very specific. On here for example, people may post ‘it’s a pain that I spend x% of my money on y - what can I do?’ but then when posters ask the monetary values to try and help to see where corners can be cut the person clams up.

OP posts:
TheChosenTwo · 13/04/2022 20:08

We’ve just been away and I think I took it to the extreme when I realised I’d left my hairbrush at home. We went past a Boots and nipped in to get a couple of things and dh pointed out the hairbrushes. I declined one saying I wasn’t going to spend £15 on something I already had at home Grin
He shook his head and just picked one up anyway Grin
Don’t really understand your thread but it did remind me of my little failed protest at the cost of living increasing. And now I have 2 hairbrushes!

Original poster
bettysboob · 13/04/2022 20:09

Yeah fair enough. Just never really talked about specific costs myself. Just a different way of dealing obviously.

OP posts:
Looloohoohoo · 13/04/2022 20:10

I don’t drive however, I have listened, empathised and discussed with people who do drive the current cost of fuel.
I have heard people mention the cost of heating and electricity to which I can relate to.
I have discussed ways I plan to be able to afford to live etc.
I don’t feel it’s a very unusual conversation to have at the moment albeit it can be draining and boring having the same subject to talk about to multiple people (Similar to Covid)
We are social beings and we talk about our problems, especially collective ones that many can empathise back and forth with.

It sounded you were slightly rude by making a sad face at them. I would find that quite insulting and mocking tbh.

Pbjontoast · 13/04/2022 20:14

I would think it's a very common conversation to be had in the current climate.

Only yesterday I moaned to a friend in the shop that the bread had gone up 15p from the week before Confused. Didn't realise I was being particularly controversial, we were just stood by the bread!!

Original poster
bettysboob · 13/04/2022 20:14

I certainly didn’t mean to be insulting, I didn’t know what to say really. The person knows we won’t be making the same cuts (it’s not a necessity but a nice to have) so it would be much more insulting to pretend I am doing the same I thought.

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 13/04/2022 20:14

@TheChosenTwo, for 15 quid I hope it's a really lovely hairbrush. Smile

Mackmama · 13/04/2022 20:18

I’m not sure if it’s the same thing but I’m sick of hearing people who are minted complaining that the cost of everything has gone up and then talking about what they’re doing to mitigate having to pay extra -particularly for energy when in reality it’ll barely impact them at all and if they wanted to have the heating on full blast all day they could afford to pay the bill. I find it really insensitive when I know there are so many people who really can’t afford the extra and it will be a choice of pay the bill or put food on the table, I believe it’s these people who have the right to moan.

Newjobformoremoney · 13/04/2022 20:20

I think chatting in general about the crumbling standard of living is pretty standard isn’t it? Engaging in conversation about current affairs, and putting them into context is something that happens regularly isn’t it? I assume that this is what this person was doing, tried again and then moved on when it all was met with was lack of engagement (emojis)

JellyBunny · 13/04/2022 20:21

Would you have known what to say f they hadn't given specific amounts?

NotTheOW · 13/04/2022 20:21

I think when you are counting the pennies you notice the exact price more?

NotTheOW · 13/04/2022 20:21

@JellyBunny

Would you have known what to say f they hadn't given specific amounts?
Yes would it have made a difference?
MrsTerryPratchett · 13/04/2022 20:28

@bettysboob

No reason why they shouldn’t - it’s just very specific. On here for example, people may post ‘it’s a pain that I spend x% of my money on y - what can I do?’ but then when posters ask the monetary values to try and help to see where corners can be cut the person clams up.
People don't want to be 'solutioned' all the time. They want to moan. Having someone helpfully suggest cuts is demeaning, patronising and not actually what the post is about.

It smacks of, 'I don't have that problem but if I did I'd d much better than you'.

People who aren't living it are keen to tell people to reduce costs while failing to understand that living a joyless life for six months to save is different to living a joyless life forever to survive.

Pbjontoast · 13/04/2022 20:28

@bettysboob

I certainly didn’t mean to be insulting, I didn’t know what to say really. The person knows we won’t be making the same cuts (it’s not a necessity but a nice to have) so it would be much more insulting to pretend I am doing the same I thought.
The thing is we're in a fortunate position to not be too worried about the current climate.. it doesn't mean I'm not still annoyed at the sudden hike in costs everywhere, or that I can't comment/ empathise with the situation lots of people
Pbjontoast · 13/04/2022 20:29

*lots of people are in.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 13/04/2022 20:30

I just made a sad face...

How do you do that? Paint your face purple and pull the edges of your mouth down a bit? Sad

(Paints face yellow and grins, pencilling in comedy teeth) Grin

Original poster
bettysboob · 13/04/2022 20:30

I would have felt more able to engage in a general conversation about the rises as it could have been brought round to the current affairs that are driving the problem. As it was it felt more like a dramatic pronouncement

OP posts:
ibblebibbledibble · 13/04/2022 20:30

What the heck are you talking about?!

NotTheOW · 13/04/2022 20:33

@bettysboob

I would have felt more able to engage in a general conversation about the rises as it could have been brought round to the current affairs that are driving the problem. As it was it felt more like a dramatic pronouncement
I don't really understand. Say I said "I can't afford my weekly coffee treat now it costs £3". What is stopping you from saying "that's a shame, the price of everything is going up, the petrol is £×.×× now due to the war in ukraine" or whatever it is you want to talk about.
WakeMeUpWhenTheyHaveGone · 13/04/2022 20:34

So, people who are well off enough to weather the financial storm should not be allowed to comment on the fact that prices are going up across the board and how that will affect them, amongst other people who have less money?

TabithaTittlemouse · 13/04/2022 20:37

@bettysboob

I would have felt more able to engage in a general conversation about the rises as it could have been brought round to the current affairs that are driving the problem. As it was it felt more like a dramatic pronouncement
Ah! So they weren’t very intelligent!