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AIBU?

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Original poster

Tinder experts help, boyfriend is on there!

43 replies

help125 · 13/04/2022 16:00

Hello

We met through tinder and both deactivated once we were 4 or 5 dates in.

I've had a nagging feeling so today I signed up with a fake name for a nose and he was about the 6th guy on the swiping list.

I've tried to match with him, I'm waiting to see if he does.

Would it show him on there if he was still deactivated?

If he's been on there, I'm done!

OP posts:
MrsMingech · 13/04/2022 16:02

No course it wouldn't show him on there if it was deactivated.

Original poster
help125 · 13/04/2022 16:02

I can't remember if we deactivated or just removed the app on our phones. Urgh.

OP posts:
fingerscrossedagain2022 · 13/04/2022 16:07

I deleted the app but didn't delete my account (I wanted to keep our first messages with each other) so people out there would still see my profile if they swiped enough. So could be he thought deleting was the same thing as deactivating.

However if you check his distance from you and that changes I think it means he is accessing the app - not an expert on this though so do some googling to see that remains right as I haven't been on tinder for a few years now

MrsMingech · 13/04/2022 16:08

According to Google (although it could be BS as I googled and read the first thing) if you just delete the app, it doesn't automatically deactivate it.

Sadgirlsummer · 13/04/2022 16:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Sadgirlsummer · 13/04/2022 16:23

Also, just going off PP re: the distance changing from you. It usually means they've opened the app and it's adjusted accordingly to where they currently are. Distance would only change if they had the app installed their phone because it pings the gps signal. If a profile was deactivated and the all no longer installed, there's no way for Tinder to ping a gps signal to get the right location iyswim.

Sadgirlsummer · 13/04/2022 16:26

EDIT FOR TYPOS

Also, just going off PP re: the distance changing from you. It usually means they've opened the app and it's adjusted accordingly to where they currently are. Distance would only change if they had the app installed ON their phone because it pings the gps signal. If a profile was deactivated and the APP no longer installed, there's no way for Tinder to ping a gps signal to get the right location iyswim.

mrziggycoco · 13/04/2022 16:33

Well if he matches you know all you need to!

BanjoKnockers · 13/04/2022 16:35

@MrsMingech

According to Google (although it could be BS as I googled and read the first thing) if you just delete the app, it doesn't automatically deactivate it.
I don't see how this can be right. Deleting the app is a local thing on your phone. There is no way in which their server could know that you've deleted the app. In fact the very fact that you have deleted the app means that your phone no longer has any way to communicate with their server.

But, tech aside, if you already have this level of mistrust then to be honest it doesn't really sound like your relationship is going anywhere.

bubblesbubbles11 · 13/04/2022 16:36

Sadgirlsummer that is interesting.
Is there any way the person can tell you have searched them on swipebuster do you know?

BanjoKnockers · 13/04/2022 16:36

Sorry @MrsMingech, I misread your post, I agree with you!

dipdye · 13/04/2022 16:38

Sorry, Tinder Gold? What's that then?

JauntyJinty · 13/04/2022 16:41

@fingerscrossedagain2022

I deleted the app but didn't delete my account (I wanted to keep our first messages with each other) so people out there would still see my profile if they swiped enough. So could be he thought deleting was the same thing as deactivating.

However if you check his distance from you and that changes I think it means he is accessing the app - not an expert on this though so do some googling to see that remains right as I haven't been on tinder for a few years now

" people out there would still see my profile if they swiped enough." does that mean the app puts less active profiles further down the swipe list? Only asking as OP says her BF was about the 6th swipe, implying an actively used profile if so

Although also OP - I'm assuming you were very specific with you search criteria to find him? So that would make the potenial pool smaller?

Fabpinky · 13/04/2022 16:48

Generally after a while of being inactive your profile is no longer shown as much and you fall further down the pile. For him to be a 6th swipe means he has been active very recently

Lacedwithgrace · 13/04/2022 16:56

How long ago did you remove/delete the apps? If it was a couple of weeks, it's normal that his profile is still on there. Months, less likely that it's the old profile.

CrowAndArrow · 13/04/2022 16:58

I think I'm still on there - been with my DP for three years.

Original poster
help125 · 13/04/2022 16:58

In December so 4 months ago

OP posts:
Fabpinky · 13/04/2022 17:50

If you both deleted the apps in December I’d be surprised for him to be the 6th swipe. You definitely fall to the bottom of the pile when inactive

Illwithdisappointment · 13/04/2022 17:51

How tech savvy is he?
After meeting my partner we came straight off Tinder. 2 years later I had an email from Tinder stating "as you have not been active for 2 years, your account will be deleted'.
My partner then informed me that deleting the app does not delete the account and I'd probably been on tinder for the last 2 years and people we know may have seen me 🤭 however I'm clueless and he knows it.

Fabpinky · 13/04/2022 17:52

What you should have done is clicker the “share profile” link and saved it in your notes or something, then you could have clicked back to his profile and see if his location moved without having to match him. Did you use someone’s picture for your fake profile?

Original poster
help125 · 13/04/2022 18:58

Ahhh I just swiped so that he could see I'd liked him. I didn't save it to my notes! Arhgh

OP posts:
Fabpinky · 13/04/2022 19:38

Never mind, what I suggested was a bit extreme on the digging front. Did you use pics on your profile? Of you? Or someone else? Just wondering what the chances are of him swiping right on the profile you’ve made.

Lacedwithgrace · 13/04/2022 19:40

Delete your account, then make another. You'll see if he's still only a few matches in and you can check it to see if his location moves. Don't swipe right on him straight away

Sexnotgender · 13/04/2022 19:40

Why did you have a nagging feeling?

Pickandmix41 · 13/04/2022 19:54

What gave you the nagging feeling OP?