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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to leave my nine year old children alone overnight in room separated from the main accommodation?

207 replies

Loveabathtub · 13/04/2022 15:29

Would love your thoughts on this matter. My partner and I booked a tailor made holiday to Cambodia with a travel agent that claims to be a experts in its field. It cost a small fortune. We made some specific requests, interconnecting rooms or a two bedroom suite, so the children (9 year old twins) could sleep together and we could get some privacy in the room next door. All was fine until we hit the beach resort where we had been booked into a two bedroom villa for nine nights. The second bedroom was totally detached from the main part of the villa. You actually had to go out of the front door, through the garden and around the swimming pool to get to it. Whilst it was only a stones throw away from the main part of the villa, I just wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my children in a separate building overnight, let alone for nine nights. AIBU as when I spoke to the travel agent to try and rectify the situation, he didn't seem to understand the problem? 😧 In fact he made me feel like I was the one with the problem. I have drawn a diagram to explain better and attach a photo. Would welcome your thoughts on the matter.

AIBU to not want to leave my nine year old children alone overnight in room separated from the main accommodation?
AIBU to not want to leave my nine year old children alone overnight in room separated from the main accommodation?
OP posts:
Overthebow · 13/04/2022 15:39

No I wouldn’t accept that. They need to find you suitable accommodation or you take child each and get a refund.

RedHelenB · 13/04/2022 15:39

You could sleep 1 parent with 1child if you were nervous. Unless they sleepwalk at 9 years old they'll not fall in the pool, you could have walkie talkies or mobile phones. I think they like it.

growinggreyer · 13/04/2022 15:40

Have you actually been on this holiday? Your tenses are all over the shop and it is very unclear whether you are there now, or whether this is a plan for the future.

Playplayaway · 13/04/2022 15:41

That's good accommodation for 2 families or families with older teens but that's not suitable at all for younger children.

sweetbellyhigh · 13/04/2022 15:41

The travel agent just wants to not bother. Who cares what the think? Make him find what you asked for.

RedHelenB · 13/04/2022 15:42

@Duchess379

Absolutely not. Madeline McCann springs to mind. 😲
Why does everyone say this. They are triple her age, not responsible for younger siblings and presumably they're parents won't be eating tapas and drinking leaving them alone all night in an unlocked apartment. They'll be right next door.
TortugaRumCakeQueen · 13/04/2022 15:44

Hell would freeze over before I would allow 9 year old to sleep away from the main house. So much could go wrong!

  • Fire
  • Kids decide to go for a paddle at 6am and drown
  • Child abductor decides to break in and accost the children
  • Child is sick in the night

Plus many more dangerous scenarios

I would be pushing for a sizeable refund. If your travel agent argues, I'd be reminding them of the Maddy M case.

I hope that you slept one adult + one child to a room when you were there.

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/04/2022 15:46

@RedHelenB

You could sleep 1 parent with 1child if you were nervous. Unless they sleepwalk at 9 years old they'll not fall in the pool, you could have walkie talkies or mobile phones. I think they like it.
This is untrue. Unfenced pools cause deaths in childhood well past 9. Having a pool is more dangerous than having a gun in the house.
Bobbybobbins · 13/04/2022 15:47

This would be great if you had two teens but agree 9 is a bit young.

Gizacluethen · 13/04/2022 15:47
  1. Someone can walk from the beach into a 9yos bedroom without passing any adults.
  1. A child would need to walk outside in the dark past a pool if they needed a parent.

Not a chance.

WoolyMammoth55 · 13/04/2022 15:49

OP, travel agent is aware that this isn't what you've asked and paid for.

"Not understanding" is their attempt to gaslight you, in hopes you'll let them get away with it.

That's simply not an acceptable sleeping arrangement for such young kids. ESPECIALLY with potential public access from the beach and a drowning hazard outside their door! It's accommodation for 2 couples, not a family with young children.

Don't back off, don't back down. Insist they deliver what you've paid for.

Best of luck!

cansu · 13/04/2022 15:50

I am a very relaxed parent and there is no way that would be acceptable. He needs to sort that out.

Howabsolutelyfanfuckingtastic · 13/04/2022 15:50

I would NOT accept this as appropriate accommodation at all. No way! At home i'm sure you wouldn't allow your children to sleep in a house alone all night, even if you were asleep in the house next door that is attachedall night. This really is no different so don't accept it. They need to find you alternative accommodation or the only other option i can see is that you and your husband sleep in with one child each which obviously isn't ideal. I hope you can get it sorted.

tkwal · 13/04/2022 15:51

No way. Either move a mattress into the living room and use the second bedroom as luggage/storage room or you and your husband sleep apart with a twin each .

RedHelenB · 13/04/2022 15:52

@Gizacluethen

1. Someone can walk from the beach into a 9yos bedroom without passing any adults.
  1. A child would need to walk outside in the dark past a pool if they needed a parent.

Not a chance.

Is there no lighting? There was loads round the pool when we had a villa. And a kid doesn't have to get up in the dark necessarily because you could have walkie talkues, mobile phones, a pager. But if OP isn't comfortable with it she isn't comfortable with it and will have to swap the accomodation.
ENoeuf · 13/04/2022 15:52

What is the photo of? The diagram makes it look very separate but the photo like it is all together?

MobLife · 13/04/2022 15:53

Am assuming you're already there? It's not ideal but surely the solution is for 1 parent to share with one twin and the other parent with the other twin?

Did the agent not share with you details of the accommodation prior to the holiday?

Pennox · 13/04/2022 15:53

No way, and my kids are well past 9 and I am also pretty relaxed. The travel agent sounds like an absolute idiot if he genuinely can't see why a family would not put 2x 9 year olds in that bedroom away from the main house. He can't be that stupid he must be lying to get you to go for it. Even putting them in the main bedroom and you in that one would involve them going outside, on their own, in the middle of the night if they wanted you. Absolutely no way.

I'd actually hesitate to put my 14y old in there. I'd let the 17y old and a mate go in there probably but certainly not under 12s. Is it a public beach as well? Insane.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 13/04/2022 15:56

YANBU. I immediately thought of Nora Quoirin. You are being fobbed off so I hope you pursue it.

bonfireheart · 13/04/2022 15:57

I don't even think the parents sleeping with one child each is a solution. They paid to spend time together as DH and DW, sleeping apart brings a whole new dynamic to the holiday and isn't what they asked got paid for.

Pennox · 13/04/2022 15:59

That was my first thought too. I know of that family indirectly via a friend and they are devastated and they weren't even as separated as in your case OP. No way would I risk that with 9 year olds.

If we'd pitched up there and found it like that we would have put an adult and a child in each room and in fact have done this many times when skiing when they've put us on different floors despite requests for rooms together, but I'd be pretty pissed off on a trip like this. I would maybe have put the kids in the lounge too.

PrisonerofZeroCovid · 13/04/2022 15:59

YANBU- I would be concerned about unsecured proximity to a public beach more than anything. Unfortunately this style of villa is very common in the SE Asia luxury market (Cambodia, Thailand, Bali etc)- ie the bedrooms are separate buildings or have separate, external, entrances, which may be why the travel agent doesn’t understand the issue.

Katela18 · 13/04/2022 15:59

You definitely aren't being unreasonable here. I am fairly relaxed as a parent, but I would feel super uncomfortable with this set up! I'd also be worried about them needing to walk near / around the pool if they needed you in the night.

Regardless of whether they see the issue or not, you have paid presumably a reasonable sum of money for this holiday so they need to resolve it!

Pennox · 13/04/2022 16:01

I can't believe one person thinks this would be fine - insane! (Or is the travel agent!!)