my brothers contesting my mothers will i have a question

[masterofdoomv1]

he has claimed that i bullied our mother to leave me the house and claims that there was a previous will saying he was to get half the house and me half but i wasnt told anything about this even if true he claims this will was made in the late 1990s and since then he had no relationship with our mother until two years ago when he became ill due to drinking and needed a liver transplant he was kept informed before this of our mothers and fathers falling healing due to illnessess they both had but didnt bother.

his lawyer is asking for details of gp social work and carers so they can check records and i wondered if this takes weeks or if it takes months as i feel like a nervous wreck being there for our our parents for the last two years of theyre life which was difficuilt and not getting any support from family members now theres money involved theyre interested all of a sudden and im tired of the whole thing it seems to be constant

Absolutely agree with you!
I think though, where the snapshot given is only the adopted child left having a relationship with the parents and five not, then to me that snapshot suggests the OP is being unfair to call the alcoholic just “greedy”.

Doesn’t mean the alcoholic has any right to the money.
Doesn’t mean the alcoholic isn’t just a total shit.

But I think OP recognises that his parents were not good and fair… and perhaps that’s why he’s started multiple threads about the threat to his inheritance, despite already being in touch with the self same lawyer that arranged the will.

@Cocomarine

Disinheriting 6 out of 7 of your kids though… bloody hell!

I knew someone who was one of 8 children and was disinherited. 6 of the other 7 felt this was very unfair and each gave her a 1/7 share of their inheritance to make it more equal, but the 7th, who had been their mother's favourite, refused to do so.

She found it strangely liberating, she told me. She had always felt that her mother didn't like or love her, and that she was treated far less favourably than her siblings, and it made her realise that those feelings weren't wrong or based on something imaginary. And she realised that it didn't matter, and that her mother couldn't hurt her any more.

LadyMary50 i paid dig money which was of an equal ammount that my brother was expected to and he worked and thats how its always been im not a freedloader my parents benefited a lot more by me being at home than i did it meant they didnt have to go into a nursing home or sheltered housing which they were always scared of because theyd lose theyre independance this is really shity that the one that was there is being made to feel like the a hole in all this for what being there and looking after parents whatever happened between parents and siblings was between them i played no part in it other than to get mother to contact the one whose now contesting the will because of his ill health i dont get people

Daleksatemyshed ive given this brother whose contesting will photos to share of theyre mother since hes claimed the rest didnt want any contact as well her jewellery so again all ive done is try and do the right thing and all ive got is crap for it

no coro ive started multipile threads as im excausted with the whole situation those last two years where my parents were alive were tough i lost father december before last then just a few weeks later in january me and mother were told she didnt have long to live there were times where i had to confort her as she cried that she didnt want to die i was with her 24/7 i had to wipe her backside i had to get up 3 or 4 times a night to see to her at times and guess what in january when mother was told she didnt have long to live this brother whose contesting the will was told and his response was what do u expect me to do about it ive just lost my father no effing joke so dont sit there and make me an a hole ive done nothing wrong my concience is clear which is more than can be said for others

anyways im done with this bs so messed up stuff on here

I haven’t said you’re an arsehole.
I’ve just said that the information you’ve given suggests that your alcoholic brother isn’t just an arsehole.
There’s a reason that he’s one of 5 children with a problematic or absent relationship with both parents.
Like I said, backstory here. That’s not bullshit, and it’s not messed up, but I expect your aggression towards the idea that it’s not all his fault means that you also have some issues to resolve over family dynamics.
I wish you luck with that, and hope the will is sorted quickly.

Scottish law is the right of succession so yes he'll be entitled to a share.

Legal rights are a distinctive feature of Scottish law and only apply if the deceased died domiciled in Scotland. Legal rights:
can be claimed by the deceased’s surviving spouse or civil partner and the children of the deceased
are claimed from the deceased's worldwide ‘moveable estate’ (IE. not property or land) after all moveable debts have been deducted
are automatic, so you won’t need to make an application to the court
are considered a debt on the deceased’s estate in relation to beneficiaries (the person(s) inheriting assets from the estate) and will take priority over any legacies, included in the deceased’s will

@Itsbackagain you’ve copy and pasted from the internet and you’ve literally copy pasted the bit that explains that property is excluded 🤣🤣

Please don't be offended @Masterofdoomv1, it's always a difficult thing balancing a parent passing, everyone's expectations and doing the right thing. I do understand that as the one child who stepped up and did the right thing and looked after your parents you feel upset and let down.
I can say from experience that time will take away some of the pain and give you some peace, family can be a blessing and a pain at the same time. Take some time and remember that you did your best, I hope you find peace and you can akways be proud that you did your best for your DPs

[quote Cocomarine]**@Itsbackagain* you’ve copy and pasted from the internet and you’ve literally* copy pasted the bit that explains that property is excluded 🤣🤣[/quote]
Yes I know, OP mentions money and jewellery also.

@Itsbackagain but OP has already explained about the money and the jewellery, and not complained that he’s getting that? Her complaint is about the house. So I don’t know why you copy & pasted it?

Ah must have missed.that update, maybe it will help someone else though. Feel free.to report it if you think it should be removed.

ive not complained about anything coc i asked a question and got a backlash for it and defended myself if a question is asked either answer question or dont bother posting simple i notice out of all the posts only one or 2 bothered to answer all ive had is judgement

also the jewellery went to my brothers coc and as as an equal share of my mothers savings will go to them as well once fees have been paid so again ive not sat here demanding evertything for myself and being greedy maybe i should have done what my brothers did walked away and my parents would have ended up in a nursing home or sheltered housing then the house would have been sold and the savings used to pay for that and nobody would have got anything

as for seeing lawyer coc the lawyer had the will as well as the title deeds to the house and i was also checking with lawyer to make sure everything was done properly and above board nothing wrong with that

Cocomarine also coc why the need to bring up the fact that im adopted in one of your posts thats irrelevant just because somebody is adopted doesnt make them any less a member of the family than anyone else the only reason i brought up that i was adopted was because that was one of the pot shots 2 brothers used against me reminding me that i was adopted as if to imply i wasnt a real member of the family seems strange that if thats what they really believe im not a real member of the family yet did more than her 'real' sons yet its been thrown back in my face that and the sense of entitlement by those that werent part of our parents life apart from two towards the end who still refused to help so no her five other sons werent cut off she had contact with three before she passed away and all 6 of her children would get and equal share of savings irrelevant of whether they had contact or not

cyw in response to your last post - This, but for someone who declares that they are not behaving in an entitled way OP seema very inpatient to get their hands on this money, and for someone who declares that the will was 100% above bored they seem very anxious about it being contested.
OP if it has all been done in a transparent and legal way, just sit back and wait for the money to arrive in your account at whatever point the solicitors are ready to transfer it.

first of all the solicitor who is helping me deal with mothers estate has 18 months of bank statements ive been nothing but transparent just how much money do people assume our parents had before my father retired he was a high school janitor and mother was a housewife so its not like they had shit loads of money before they passed away and i spent it all. im not anxious about it being contested but angry as as ive pointed out the one that is contesting will was asked to help care for his dying mother and point blank refused yet was well looked after in the will as ive also said i looked after our parents for the last years of theyre lifes and the last 2 years were difficuilt as thats when theyre health went down hill emotionally and mentally that took its toll specially when i had no help or support i was reminded i was adopted by different relatives as if to imply i wasnt considered a real family member and those that refused to help were under the impression that the carers did all the work whilst i did nothing maybe if this brother had any concerns as to what was going on at home he should have been there and played a part in caring for his parents rather than just speaking to mother on phone for the last couple of years and keeping his distance also as said before in a previous post my parents were advised to spend as much of theyre savings before they passed away and whilst they still had some quality of life and it was up to them what they did with house but they CHOSE to leave me it saying i had been there for them they considered it my home and they wanted me to have security after they pass away

lady -You say you have lived with them for 20yrs,presumably rent free as you are on benefits.Methinks you doth protest too much about doing all the care work for them.I wonder what all your brothers stories about the situation would be!!!

i didnt say i was on benfits all that time i have worked and i didnt claim that i did all the work ive said carers were involved as theres no way i would have been able to cope on my own and there certainly wasnt any help from relatives but i can assure you i did the majority of the care that was needed the carers were in a couple of hrs a day which helped but who do you think did most of the work?

How sad, he sounds like an absolute dick. Hope you get it sorted

“Cocomarine also coc why the need to bring up the fact that im adopted in one of your posts thats irrelevant“

Oh come on! You’re the one that brought it up multiple times! We only you going we’re adopted because you told us you were. Pointing out that having an adopted sibling can be a different dynamic and something for you to consider is hardly irrelevant.

Parents choose to adopt, not the children.
If my mother had walked away from me (as she did two of her children) and I later found out that she’d chosen to have more children and not only that but adopt one that wasn’t even hers… that’d bloody sting!
She showed more Cate for someone else’s child than she did her own.

as ive said going by the attitude on here coc especially yours along with attitude from family i should have walked away and been able to get on with my life as others did unfortunatly i hung around cared for them and im getting the backlash if i had walked away there would have been nothing maybe the so called brothers should be gratefull somebody was there for them at the end and they didnt need to go into care rather than that person being made to feel like dirt

She showed more Cate for someone else’s child than she did her own.

also that was a low blow adopted or not i was hers uncalled for

anyways ive said what ive had to say im off