To get back into bed after school run

[Howmanykidsadverts]

Dd starts reception in September, I’ve had long covid for two years, much better since January, but still takes me a long time to get going in the morning.
We’ve always had slow mornings, I literally stumble downstairs, make a tea and her breakfast, if she lets me (started to want to go on her own) then sit for around an hour to come round.
The thought of having to be up, showered, dressed, ready, breakfast etc by 8.30 is filling me with anxiety.
Was going from being at home to the school run a huge change? Could I try to get through it and come back and lie down? I work some evenings and am fine by around 10/11 am
Aibu to feel sad to miss our slow mornings cuddled up in get together too?

As long as she is on time, school won't care what you look like (and neither will most parents). I know quite a few parents who do the afternoon school run after sleeping all day from night shifts.

I would also advise breakfast club if your school offers it. You just pop their clothes on, brush teeth, drop at an empty school then go back home to bed.

Definitely did not mean to post that on your post!! So sorry a bit of a newbie 🙈🙈 I'm not sure if you can delete but I've requested it to be deleted!

@5128gap

Its interesting that we make a virtue out of early starts, but not out of staying up late, when whichever way you do it, you're in bed the same length of time. No one would consider it lazy to go to bed early but somehow it's lazy if you don't get up till late. As long as you're not causing unreasonable extra work/hassle for anyone else, do what you please.

I do agree with this. I'm a natural night owl and work much more productively and effectively in the afternoon/evenings than mornings. That's just me, always has been. But apparently that doesn't suit the "work yourself to death" ethos in western capitalism, where busyness and burnout is celebrated and morning busyness especially so.

It was one of the reasons I went self employed years ago - so I wouldn't have to deal with those annoying 8am chirpy as fuck "I've run 5k already" folk in the office.

Honestly, sometimes I have thrown leggings on...a huge long puffer coat thrown over my nightie and a pair of dark glasses...drop and run... straight back to bed or I then shower and dress properly in peace.

I’m a morning person and 8am is a long lie in for me. I used to drop kids at nursery at 8 as they opened and go straight to work. School actually made me stay in bed later a bit! But I say it’s fine to crash after the school run if you prefer to, whyever not? You say you work evenings which I really couldn’t do, I’m hopeless from early evening onwards, each to what suits them best and with a little more time your long covid symptoms may improve too.

If you are tired then why not? It really pisses me off when people(esp women) are told they "ought" to be doing something! I quite often have a nap mid aft (wake about 6 am ) and by 3pm up 9 hours. Esp when wet,windy cold or on a monthly "gift" Like to do chores first and dog out by the time lunch has gone by just about ready to flop!

On days when my youngest is at nursery if I have a bad nights sleep I always think "oh great, when I drop him off I can go back to bed!" I have literally never done it but it always makes me feel better to think that I can if I want to. Maybe if you give yourself permission you may find that you don't actually do it. And with regards to missing your time together, I understand that but you get plenty of school holidays so that time isn't gone forever.

I find when I have a nap I'm much more productive in the afternoon and evening when the kids are home which is good because I'm often ferrying them to activities, making dinner, helping with homework...it's much better that I'm productive during the time they're home

Got up about 10 and then started my day

I used to say I was going to do this but I never did as the odd day off I had during the week I wanted to make the most of - going to the gym, shopping on my own, meeting up with a friend or even sitting in front of the tv watching good old Jeremy Kyle.

If I spent too much time in bed I’d feel like I wasted my ‘me’ time.
I guess if you don’t work during the day it doesn’t feel the same and then I’d have 1 day a week going back to he’s maybe.

@Howmanykidsadverts it isn’t a waste of a morning though, is it. Why would looking after yourself when your body is struggling be a waste? Think carefully about that. Your body is the seat of your personhood. Without it you have no life. It is not a waste to do whatever you can to safeguard its well-being.

People saying it is waste and you will feel worse have obviously never had a chronic health condition causing extreme fatigue.
OP I have just had my LC 2 year anniversary and now have fibromyaligia and CFS. Cannot work.
You should absolutely listen to your body and rest rest rest whenever you can.
My DS is 13 now and walks to school or gets a lift but I get up at 6.30 to get breakfasts, make tea, sort things out then wake him at 7. As he is getting ready I might throw a wash on or pop something in the slowcooker for dinner later. Then he leaves at 8 and I go back to bed either to slowly wake up with a cuppa or have a couple more hours rest.
On bad days I set my alarm so I know I'll be up and about by the time he is home.
Look after yourself OP and get more sleep after the school run

@WonderfulYou

I definitely wouldn’t go back to bed - it makes you feel even more sluggish and will mess up your sleep routine even more. On the odd occasion it’s fine.

Forget about the morning shower.
Walking to school and back in the fresh air will wake you up and make you feel more energised than having a nap.
Then you can try and go to bed earlier.

I wake up at 5:30am to leave the house for 7am as I need at least 30mins to sit there with a coffee like a zombie waking myself up.
The quickest way to wake up is to go outside in the fresh air so I stand on my doorstep whilst the kettle boils which really does help.

I assume you don’t work during the day?
So get some comfy jogging bottoms and top, prepare everything the night before and have your coffee whilst your DD is eating her breakfast.
Then when you get back you can eat your breakfast and get changed.

Did you read that OP has a Chronic Health condition? I very much doubt walking to and from school will make her feel energised. LC robs you of all that. Some days I can't even walk down my garden path. OP's situation is not that of a typical healthy person. She needs much much more rest than the average person and needs to pace herself. Pps listing all the things they get done in the morning really is not helpful.

If you can make that work for you and your day, then yes, absolutely give it a go.

I know a few posters have said it would be bad for mental health and you'd feel like you'd been wasting daylight hours etc, and I can see why they think that, but it honestly depends massively on what your body clock is naturally like. Some people are owls who are at their best in the evenings, and some are larks who are at their best in the mornings. Obviously your long Covid fatigue is a factor and you're needing a bit more sleep than you usually would have done, but you also mention that you work some evenings, so to me it sounds like you're more of a natural owl and might do absolutely fine with some more sleep in the morning.

I do not have long Covid, but if I were left to my own devices and didn't have to keep more or less to standard working hours, the natural pattern I would fall into would be going to bed between 1 and 2am and getting up around 10am.

Reading back, I apologise for sounding snippy. I'm just fed up of dealing with Long Covid for so long and with people including my gp advising I have a walk outside every day, do light exercise , push through and try to be livelier. I struggle to have the energy to shower some days!
The post from OP just resonated with me.

Absolutely go back to bed if you need to!!!

Thanks to everyone on the thread who understands CFS / LC and that it's not normal levels of tiredness but is fatigue on another level!

I've had long covid for the past two years and am slowly starting to come out the other side. I only started improving once I stopped doing what I thought I should - like following well meaning advice such as from pp's about stick to routine, go for walks, push a bit more etc and started listening to my body.

I did have to stop working and I actually found that the kids being in school helped- i dragged myself through the school run and then if I needed to sleep / rest all day I could- not having to use mental energy for "being mummy" all day helped. I was also extremely lucky that my husband stepped up massively- I didn't cook a meal for around 6 months and the house was super messy all the time. My kids also had way too much screen time, but I had to prioritise my health.

Slowly I was able to increase, but always listening to my body and resting when needed. It feels selfish and often goes against our instincts but it's really essential to recover. Now I'm at the stage where I'm back at work part time and able to manage family life most days with increasing glimpses of the old me- I caught myself dancing in the kitchen along to the radio last week and realised I hadn't done that for the past two years, it made me really happy. I still have to pace, and possibly will have to for a long time but I wish you well and hope that you can start to recover too. Same to @wildthingsinthenight

@MavisMonkey

Absolutely go back to bed if you need to!!!

Thanks to everyone on the thread who understands CFS / LC and that it's not normal levels of tiredness but is fatigue on another level!

I've had long covid for the past two years and am slowly starting to come out the other side. I only started improving once I stopped doing what I thought I should - like following well meaning advice such as from pp's about stick to routine, go for walks, push a bit more etc and started listening to my body.

I did have to stop working and I actually found that the kids being in school helped- i dragged myself through the school run and then if I needed to sleep / rest all day I could- not having to use mental energy for "being mummy" all day helped. I was also extremely lucky that my husband stepped up massively- I didn't cook a meal for around 6 months and the house was super messy all the time. My kids also had way too much screen time, but I had to prioritise my health.

Slowly I was able to increase, but always listening to my body and resting when needed. It feels selfish and often goes against our instincts but it's really essential to recover. Now I'm at the stage where I'm back at work part time and able to manage family life most days with increasing glimpses of the old me- I caught myself dancing in the kitchen along to the radio last week and realised I hadn't done that for the past two years, it made me really happy. I still have to pace, and possibly will have to for a long time but I wish you well and hope that you can start to recover too. Same to @wildthingsinthenight

Thank you So pleased to hear you seem to have turned a corner. Lovely to read xx

Having plans will give you momentum.

^ chronic health conditions don't necessarily make you feel this way. Having plans can seem like a really negative noose; more ways to feel like a failure, more people to disappoint when you have to cancel because getting up or out of bed or off the toilet etc feels impossible.

@WTF475878237NC

Having plans will give you momentum.

^ chronic health conditions don't necessarily make you feel this way. Having plans can seem like a really negative noose; more ways to feel like a failure, more people to disappoint when you have to cancel because getting up or out of bed or off the toilet etc feels impossible.

Perfectly put!

Thank you everyone, such kind comments 🙏

Sending love to all those still suffering from Lc and other debilitating conditions, it really does change your whole lifestyle and the way you once were, wishing all of you improvement xx

I'm sure people have mentioned this already OP but I find spoon theory really useful. It helps me manage myself, and plan rest as well as activity. For example if I am out in the evening I know I'll have less energy so a nap in advance helps top me up www.google.com/amp/s/www.bjchealth.com.au/blog-fitness/the-spoon-theory-managing-fatigue-with-chronic-illness%3fhs_amp=true

My husband and I have both been working from home, in very flexible jobs, since March 2020. We are night owls by nature and would prefer to sleep from 2am to 11am or whatever. Obviously with kids we can’t (and don’t) do that.

I can honestly say that having to do the school run through much of the pandemic and wfh has been our absolute salvation. Forces us out of bed early to get the kids up and out. A walk every single morning before I start work and I am refreshed and energised.

I’d have gone to rack and ruin without this. I’d have been sleeping tell ten/eleven every day and working ridiculous hours to make it up.

Do what you need to do OP. Honestly, don't give it a second thought.

I have a chronic condition and between the flares and the medication I take to control the disease, I am exhausted to my bones. I don't remember what it feels to have normal energy levels. I manage more by conserving my energy (I sometimes only do the school runs and working from home) as daytime napping isn't an option for me.

What are you doing in terms of your L.C? Have you been referred to a L.C clinic?

(My friend is under one and I'm has I'm has very impressed thus far but I'm not sure how easy they are to access?)

I do concur with PP that thr school run / WFH actually gives me structure and purpose. I find I'm more efficient and proactive on school and work days as I have to be!!!

I've been doing it for 6 years / 3 kids now I'd he lost without that routine. But I'd certainly not judge others.

Being chronically exhausted is very difficult.