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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get back into bed after school run

77 replies

Howmanykidsadverts · 12/04/2022 09:47

Dd starts reception in September, I’ve had long covid for two years, much better since January, but still takes me a long time to get going in the morning.
We’ve always had slow mornings, I literally stumble downstairs, make a tea and her breakfast, if she lets me (started to want to go on her own) then sit for around an hour to come round.
The thought of having to be up, showered, dressed, ready, breakfast etc by 8.30 is filling me with anxiety.
Was going from being at home to the school run a huge change? Could I try to get through it and come back and lie down? I work some evenings and am fine by around 10/11 am
Aibu to feel sad to miss our slow mornings cuddled up in get together too?

OP posts:
sleepylittlebunnies · 12/04/2022 10:39

Hopefully you will feel a lot better by September. I’ve only got my youngest to get to school now, I often feel exhausted when I get up and plan to go straight back to bed when I get back in. But I rarely do, even after just getting home from a night shift.

I walk the dog with DD to school then around the fields then home. Once in I feel wide awake and get laundry done, prep or cook dinner ready, bit of cleaning and hoovering. Sit down and catch up with family admin, which is when it catches up with me so I have a nap and set my alarm to do school pick up, so it’s maximum of 2 hours sleep, 4 if between nights. Only if I’m off out somewhere in the day do I miss my nap or weekends and school holidays, then I need an early night. I had Shingles for the second time in January and still feel rundown.

WonderfulYou · 12/04/2022 10:42

I definitely wouldn’t go back to bed - it makes you feel even more sluggish and will mess up your sleep routine even more.
On the odd occasion it’s fine.

Forget about the morning shower.
Walking to school and back in the fresh air will wake you up and make you feel more energised than having a nap.
Then you can try and go to bed earlier.

I wake up at 5:30am to leave the house for 7am as I need at least 30mins to sit there with a coffee like a zombie waking myself up.
The quickest way to wake up is to go outside in the fresh air so I stand on my doorstep whilst the kettle boils which really does help.

I assume you don’t work during the day?
So get some comfy jogging bottoms and top, prepare everything the night before and have your coffee whilst your DD is eating her breakfast.
Then when you get back you can eat your breakfast and get changed.

WTF475878237NC · 12/04/2022 10:43

I do agree though that it won't be good for your mental health so I would try not to turn it into a daily habit.

^ if she still has Long Covid then managing her energy reserve in this way is the best thing she can do every day. Pacing is recommended in chronic fatigue services and Long Covid has many similarities.

SunnySideDownBriefly · 12/04/2022 10:45

I've got long COVID too and I know what you mean about the dread of getting up and having to be mentally ready for everything. I've totally changed my routine so I'm in bed and asleep by 9/9.30pm. I get up early (around 6am) and get outside for a walk with the dog - even if I'm feeling groggy...or if you can't leave the house then can you sit in the garden with a cup of tea to absorb some rays and listen to the birds tweeting? I think the essential thing is to not be in a rush - prepare everything the evening before and give yourself plenty of time to get ready in the morning. Maybe wake your daughter up when you've had 30-45mins to yourself to get ready (mentally and physically!) and then have a full hour for her to get ready. I can't emphasise enough that you should leave yourself plenty of time - drag yourself out of bed and make it a habit...do not try to snooze as it will make you feel worse. Up and dressed is the key.

And of course you can go back to bed afterwards! I'd also get another nap in before school pick-up if you can and then plan on cuddles when she comes home from school. A snack and a cuddle on the sofa will be something to look forward to all day with her. And you will be so happy if you can provide happy, stress-free mornings for her.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 12/04/2022 10:46

Do whatever the hell suits.
Apparently having everything together the night before helps. But I have known that for 22 years and still don't do it!

Loudhousefun · 12/04/2022 10:47

Yes go and rest, do what works for you and everyone is productive at different times in the day. I used to do this a lot and would work better and for longer in the day. It worked for me, I was also in a better mood generally because of it

MaChienEstUnDick · 12/04/2022 10:52

You need to do what works for you, although I agree the morning light on your face can be incredibly powerful in terms of boosting your energy.

Don't forget to think about your morning routine too - make it as easy as possible for you and DD:

Don't shower
Make up packed lunch or snacks the night before and put in the fridge
Uniform out ready to go
School bag out ready to go
Let DD get her own cereal, that's great that she wants to.

If you get all that working for you, you'll need so much less energy in the morning.

5128gap · 12/04/2022 10:54

Its interesting that we make a virtue out of early starts, but not out of staying up late, when whichever way you do it, you're in bed the same length of time. No one would consider it lazy to go to bed early but somehow it's lazy if you don't get up till late. As long as you're not causing unreasonable extra work/hassle for anyone else, do what you please.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 12/04/2022 10:57

i have fibromyalgia and have had to change my life. I sometimes go back to bed. i find an hours sleep just resets everything. i call it cocooning! i never try to persevere as it makes it worse. Think of yourself as a spoon ie and use your energy wisely.

Alsoplayspiccolo · 12/04/2022 10:57

We have teenagers who have to be driven to the school bus stop at 7.15am, with alarms going off at 6.15am.
DH often works late nights, and I have a chronic condition that leads to fatigue, so we quite often go back to bed for another hour or 2 sleep at 8am.

If you need to rest, you need to rest - no point soldiering on.

TheOrigRights · 12/04/2022 11:02

If it works for you and your family, do it.

I don't do school run any more (secondary age child), and I thankfully have good health, but I am a lone parent and a night owl and he's a challenging teenage git at times, so often once he's gone for the bus I'll go back to bed with a cuppa and just regroup before I start work.

It works for me and I'm sure I'm more productive for having that breather.

CitrusSunshine · 12/04/2022 11:13

If you have long Covid I'd say it's an extremely good idea. The morning routine and drop off will probably be exhausting and use a hell of a lot of energy and IME the most important part of dealing with post-viral illness is rest, rest and more rest. Good luck!

Funkyslippers · 12/04/2022 11:32

I work in education and feel like this just before the holidays end! Luckily I don't have school runs anymore but I still have to get up early and make sure everyone has everything they need for the day including me! I just love the lazy mornings of the school holidays!!

katmarie · 12/04/2022 11:34

Time spent in bed is not wasted if you are still recovering. It's time spent managing your health for your own benefit and for your family's benefit too. It's certainly not being lazy to rest when you need to, when you are managing a health issue.

You might find the fresh air helps, and that you are a bit more alert after the walk, but if not, then get the rest you need.

PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn · 12/04/2022 11:39

There are no rules - people have different chronotypes, if yours isn't tuned to mornings then of course you need a bit more rest!

starfishmummy · 12/04/2022 11:45

Why not? My son has SN and medical issues so at that age I was often up in the night with him. Slightly different as he was collected by school transport, but I'd usually just throw on the previous days clothes and then when he had gone I'd get myself ready for the day. If I had nothing else on, that often used to include going back to bed.

Doingmybest12 · 12/04/2022 11:49

I was used to dropping at childcare before work but there was something about the school run twice a day which was different. All those parents herding in the same direction at the same time. I was really struck by all of those mostly mums commitment to get the children where they needed to be. It'll be fine, do what you want about an extra nap.

Phewthemutinyworked · 12/04/2022 11:56

I always went back to bed after school run with tea and toast …bliss ! Our dog was very happy with the arrangement! Got up about 10 and then started my day .
Kids all grown up now and I never get up before 9.30 - 10 am !

Oblomov22 · 12/04/2022 11:58

Do it. At any rare opportunity you can!

bettertocryinamercedes · 12/04/2022 12:02

I always fantasise about doing this on my days off but by the time I'm showered and up and out, I don't feel like going back to bed once I'm home.

Tip - do something else after the school run like a walk or a quick shop and by the time you get home you'll be good to go.

Afternoon nap, now that's the business!! And no guilt cos you've done all you planned to already!!

Foghead · 12/04/2022 12:04

That sounds tough. Have you got any advice on how to support your recovery? Vitamins? Iron?
I usually do the school run and then shower when I get back home. Do whatever suits you as you obviously need lots of rest.

Comedycook · 12/04/2022 12:08

I'm a sahm of school age DC....I often nap after the school run

LoveSpringDaffs · 12/04/2022 12:13

I used to be a spring out of bed (at an unholy time of the morning) & showered, dressed, enjoying the day, before 6. I LIKE being like that.

However, I have a couple of health issues that mean I now feel ghastly when I wake up, so I just have to get dressed & do the school run & I shower later in the day. Usually after I've been home, had coffee & been for a walk. Sometimes I have a nap, but only when I absolutely cannot stay awake. I'd prefer to go for a walk straight after the school run but my tummy plays up🙄

If I absolutely have to shower first thing, I feel sick & faint it's horrible. I miss how I used to be!!

Do what you need to do, hopefully by September you'll be feeling much better x

Mariposista · 12/04/2022 12:14

I disagree about missing the morning shower. It wakes you up, and getting washed and into clean clothes makes you 'ready for the day'. Unless you have to be at work straightaway (it sounds like you work afternoons/evenings), take the dog with you on the school run and then walk him from there, or grab your gym bag and head straight there for a class/swim. Even go for a coffee on your own. Having plans will give you momentum. And if you can do any of this with a friend, it will hold you accountable.

mawbroon · 12/04/2022 12:24

I am dreadful in the mornings (since I was a kid).
I work a lot of late nights.
If I do the school run super quick then the bed is still warm when I get back in. Best moment of the day.
I hope you get well soon, OP x

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