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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to still holiday with the parents as adults?

34 replies

Rububububu · 11/04/2022 19:45

Reading a thread earlier about traveling with older teens got me curious about how many adults still go on family holidays. Myself and DH are early 30s and travel with the parents/siblings most years, as well as on our own. We never really stopped doing this, but maybe it's uncommon? Everyone pays for themselves and has done since becoming an adult, but I quite like these big family holidays. Am I the only one? I've been with both my family and DH's family. Neither us nor siblings have any children, so maybe this is relevant.

AIBU for liking holidays with the parents/in-laws as an adult?

OP posts:
Easterisoffeggstooexpensive · 11/04/2022 19:48

2 of my adult dc still come with us. Neither married yet... Hopefully they will also love where we go every year whenever they appear in our lives!!

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 11/04/2022 19:49

I go with my parents and my child, not every holiday, but it's actually really nice for both my son and I. We get on well and make some good memories Smile

Keladrythesaviour · 11/04/2022 19:51

We are 32/34 (me/DH) and my DB&gf are 35/36 and we go on holiday with my parents most years... I'm well aware of their advancing age and the fact they may not be able to travel as they do now. So making the most of it! These are memories for a life time. We enjoy each others company, enjoy food, good wine, beautiful surroundings...it rarely makes sense to get a villa and private pool for 2, so better to travel as a group.... Lots of reasons. Maybe if we have kids it will stop, but I hope it doesn't!
We sometimes share villa costs, sometimes parents pay villa and we pay travel etc depends on location, cost. We paid the villa the year after our wedding as a thank you for their support.

Sleepdeprived921 · 11/04/2022 19:52

We always holiday with the parents and our children a couple of times a year! We all love it and have a great time together x

Mummyratbag · 11/04/2022 19:54

There is literally no one policing this.

Rububububu · 11/04/2022 20:00

@Keladrythesaviour

We are 32/34 (me/DH) and my DB&gf are 35/36 and we go on holiday with my parents most years... I'm well aware of their advancing age and the fact they may not be able to travel as they do now. So making the most of it! These are memories for a life time. We enjoy each others company, enjoy food, good wine, beautiful surroundings...it rarely makes sense to get a villa and private pool for 2, so better to travel as a group.... Lots of reasons. Maybe if we have kids it will stop, but I hope it doesn't! We sometimes share villa costs, sometimes parents pay villa and we pay travel etc depends on location, cost. We paid the villa the year after our wedding as a thank you for their support.
Same here. Sometimes the parents invite us to a place I have no intention of going at my age, but most of the time we go on some two week Europe adventure and have a great time. It's because posters on here often talk about the shift from when teens no longer want to come on holiday, and that just never happened in my case. Grin
OP posts:
Etinoxaurus · 11/04/2022 20:09

@Mummyratbag

There is literally no one policing this.
C’mon though! Mumsnet would be tumbleweed Grin
Libertaire · 11/04/2022 20:15

If I went on holiday with my mum, we would fall out before we had checked in. We are very different people with very different attitudes and values. It would just never, ever work. She would want to get to the airport five hours before check in opened and would still constantly witter on about missing the flight, or our bags being sent to Timbuktu or the plane crashing or being hijacked by terrorists or struck by lightning or abducted by…

FFS give it a bloody rest, Mum!

Keladrythesaviour · 11/04/2022 20:16

@Rububububu it's Mumsnet. Most people on here don't seem to even like going on holiday with their own children. Grin our summer holidays from the age of about 3+ were the highlight of our year for both us as kids and our parents. I'm sure we weren't angels, but we never went AI and my parents had to wash up and cook (the horror) and we still had an amazing time, which has carried on into adult hood. The holidays many posters talk about (same shit different location) just doesn't replicate our experience at all! So not surprising that our teen/adult experiences don't match up either.

DSGR · 11/04/2022 20:17

Love holidaying with parents!

Keladrythesaviour · 11/04/2022 20:19

@Libertaire that's part of the holiday experience Grin we let DM get on with her wittering whilst we read a book/go for breakfast/go shopping and then rescue her when she will have inevitably just wandered off when we get our boarding call Grin

Libertaire · 11/04/2022 20:22

@Keladrythesaviour You are a better, more patient and more tolerant person than me. Fancy going on holiday with my mum? Grin

tootiredtospeak · 11/04/2022 20:26

We are going away with both sets of our parents this year and siblings too. I guess it just depends on family dynamics.

Mindymomo · 11/04/2022 20:27

DH and I first holidayed with his parents one year after we married, not our main holiday, but a European break. Then when we had our first child we went on uk break with them and also DH’s aunt. After that we went away with them every year until MIL didn’t want to fly so we went on uk holidays with them and we went abroad on our own. My DS’s are adults and the eldest comes on holidays with us, the younger one last came in 2019.

HollaHolla · 11/04/2022 20:28

We've gone en masse a few times.... When all of the sibs/partners/kids are there, we're 12 in total, so we've gotten some lovely villas with pools between us, for example. We've also done it where my folks (who are sprightly, fairly recent retirees, with a campervan) have toddled off to Spain or France with the van, and then some or all of us have flown off to meet them somewhere, and stay in a hotel/holiday apartment.
We totally surprised my Dad when he was 70, as we all 'couldn't get time off work/it's not an easy time to take kids out of school', and then flew to Italy to surprise him - all 10 of us! We needed my Mum's help to co-ordinate that one, though - as he's fond of changing their plans... the beauty of a campervan!

However, without our own space, we find 3 days is pretty much our limit! The parents are retired, so like some down time; both my siblings have partners and kids - of different ages - so need activities; and I'm the childless maiden aunt, who pretty much goes along with most things - but I do have a physical disability which makes it a wee bit tricky sometimes.
Anyway, I suppose what I'm trying to say is that we try very hard to get something to suit everyone, but SHOCK HORROR, we do actually mainly like each other, and get along, so enjoy a bit of time together - and if it's sunny, with fun things to do, and nice food, all the better.

The only time we didn't holiday with the family would be when each of us were in our late teens to later 20s, where going away with friends/boyfriends was more entertaining. Now we would all have a main holiday on our own/in own smaller groups/with friends, and the family trip as well. We're hoping for South of France this year. Grin

StColumbofNavron · 11/04/2022 20:33

I’m 40 and still go on holiday with my parents. It may be a bit different though because there is a family villa/home in another country (of one of my parent’s birth) so I have been going since I was 3 and my children since they were babies. They are all excited to go after 3 years this year, and at 14.16 and 11 I asked them if they wanted to go elsewhere and they all unanimously said that they wanted to go. There is no Wi-Fi, it’s very remote and other than the sea no much to do but they said this is what is great about it.

Mummyratbag · 11/04/2022 20:33

@Etinoxaurus true and then I would have to do something productive Blush

PatSpringleaf · 11/04/2022 20:38

DH and I love holidaying with his parents or my mum! We have DS so they help out and we get a break. It's brilliant!

weebarra · 11/04/2022 20:39

We do it most years. DH and I and the three DCs go to the same place we went as children. They never did buy a house there, but we rent a villa. They got for a month and we go for two weeks. It's great. My DF is a prickly character but there's plenty of space and DM and I go to the market and cook together. Obviously we haven't been for the past two years but the plan is to go in July and I can't wait!

Holly60 · 11/04/2022 20:40

Often go away with adult DC and DGC. They go with their respective in-laws too. It is really lovely

RantyAunty · 11/04/2022 20:41

Not really. They'd had enough of us and wanted time to themselves.

Plus we had different ideas of where we wanted to go.

namechangetheworld · 11/04/2022 20:43

Oh, of course it's fine. I'm 36, married, with two children and a mortgage. We go on holiday with my parents every summer - and they pay for us all too. They won't accept a penny in payment even though we always offer before the Mumsnet mob start braying about how we're taking advantage It's a lovely holiday for our children that we couldn't afford otherwise, and my parents love spending time with the grandchildren.

Sharrowgirl · 11/04/2022 20:44

I’ve not been on holiday with my parents since I was 14. Couldn’t imagine it to be honest.

But I don’t think there’s anything ‘wrong’ with it and it’s nice that some families get along well enough to want to.

JaninaDuszejko · 11/04/2022 20:52

I'm in my 50s and my Mum is coming on holiday with us (me, DH, 3DC) in half term plus 2 of my siblings. Mum is a lot less annoying in a holiday cottage than she is in my house or in her house because no-one is the host and we work to similar timetables (stately home opens at 10am, we're there at 9.55 am having booked the tickets online). Conversely I can have MIL to visit for weeks on end because she's a delightful and easy going house guest but I can't stand going on holiday with her because she'd not even be out of bed till 10am, would breakfast till midday then start discussing what we'd do that day at 2pm. Shudder. DHs sibling's holiday with MIL though.

Keladrythesaviour · 11/04/2022 20:52

@Libertaire ha!if I find a wittering lady wandering around at the airport worrying about bags I'll be sure to take her under my wing tie her to my mother so I only have to worry about one

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