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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What were DS (9) and DS (7) doing outside at 2.30am?

197 replies

TroublesomeTrucks · 11/04/2022 10:25

My DSs aged 9&7 are in serious trouble this morning. Background: our front door is set back from the road and the house is long and narrow along the road. DSs bedroom (shared by their own choice) is at one end almost above the front door.

Last night at 2.30am the door bell camera caught the pair of them going out of the front door and walking round to the front of the house, I would guess to approximately where their bedroom window on the front of the house is, before coming back in about 30 seconds later (staying inside the front garden, so nowhere near the road or pavement). They were empty handed so if they’d thrown or droppedsomething out of the window they didn’t find it. They claim they ‘wanted some fresh air’Hmm

I don’t know if it’s connected, but they were already in trouble because when it came to handing over their chrome books at bedtime, they told me they couldn’t find them (not unusual) but then I caught them using them under the bed covers.

What the hell were they up to????!

OP posts:
Robinni · 12/04/2022 22:31

@savewaterdrinkgin the likelihood of a fire is vastly less than the danger of a young child being given free rein to wander at will.

Son takes after me - At 4/5 I used to waken early and frequently escaped through the window, the locks were put on all windows once I wakened our neighbour at 5am (she always had sugarpuffs - remember them) and then I was nearly run over… better safe than sorry.

Robinni · 12/04/2022 22:33

@SaveWaterDrinkGin door alarm all very well and I will invest in one, but as with OP no guarantee you wake in time to prevent the escape!!

C25kBecky · 12/04/2022 23:00

@ThorFull

My boys are 6 and 8 and honestly I think this is really funny and really cute. They were on camera, didn’t leave your front garden. Not sure why there’s a need to panic. I’d probably laugh and giggle with them, maybe wind them up a bit making up a mad story about why they were out. Then they’d want to prove me wrong and tell me what they were doing. Then I’d tell them that front door is not safe at night, stick to back garden adventures. I might even leave a cheeky note or a little snack out in case they decide to have another adventure.
Wtaf.

I'm gobsmacked at the amount of people that don't think this is a serious issue.

FYI, fir those that need telling, it's not acceptable or safe for young children to be wandering around outside, alone, in the middle of the night.

Confused
LoisLane66 · 12/04/2022 23:22

You say your front door is set back from the road which means it still faces the road and their room is above it. How could they then exit the front door and go to the front of the house if by going out of the door they were already at the front. Your description makes little sense unless the front door is not facing the road but on another side of the house in which case they could not have dropped something from outside their bedroom window as it's right over the front door and they would not have needed to walk more than a step or two to find it.

Serrina · 12/04/2022 23:35

@TroublesomeTrucks

To answer some points / questions - the relevance of the chrome books incident was just that they were already in trouble and knew it - I had already confiscated the chrome books and they won’t be getting them back for a while. They have parental controls and are regularly checked.

Also, I will not be locking the door and taking the keys away, to me that is far more dangerous than current shenanigans, imo.

Regarding the motion sensor / door alarm, the motion sensor sends an alert to my phone, which did wake me up so I’m happy they can’t sneak out without me knowing. The only reason I didn’t catch them in the act this time is because they were out for so little time, by the time I got downstairs they were in again.

Also, if it makes a difference, we live in a safe little village, so them being out it not ideal, but not nearly as bad as in the centre of a big city.

I have no idea how or why they were awake at 2.30, and they know if it keeps happening they will not be allowed to carry on sharing a bedroom.

I woke them early this morning to do some cleaning in penance. They are tired now, but it serves them right and will help them sleep more sensibly tonight!

Why is that more dangerous? If you don't want to lock it with a key, you could put a bolt up high on the door where they can't reach it.
maeveiscurious · 12/04/2022 23:45

My DB was "sleepwalking" at age 5, they found him in the street in the middle of the night.

Latch on the door fixed that.

Fast forward 20 years and it turns out he was making a run for it with the neighbours son also aged 5. They were planning to steal my DF's car.

Enid. blyton had a lot to answer for ...

Etm1986 · 13/04/2022 09:26

I'd have hidden and scared the living day lights out of them . Then they would be in big trouble. Kids do some very stupid stuff show them a video of a the child being carried off in the night ( I can't remember her name it's online ) that should get the point across.

HELLITHURT · 13/04/2022 09:34

When will these children stop being children?

Honestly, yes tell them off, but it's the sort of thing children do, explain why they shouldn't do it by all means!

lameasahorse · 13/04/2022 09:38

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

SVRT19674 · 13/04/2022 09:47

My neighbour's sons did this, but they climbed out of the bedroom window as they wanted to go to the swings. The thing is it was summer and a few of the neighbours were sitting on some benches chatting with a can of beer and nibbles at around midnight, so when we saw them we questioned them being all alone out there and the mother was called. Put an end to their adventure hehe

watcherintherye · 13/04/2022 09:51

@LoisLane66

You say your front door is set back from the road which means it still faces the road and their room is above it. How could they then exit the front door and go to the front of the house if by going out of the door they were already at the front. Your description makes little sense unless the front door is not facing the road but on another side of the house in which case they could not have dropped something from outside their bedroom window as it's right over the front door and they would not have needed to walk more than a step or two to find it.
Yes, I gave up trying to picture the layout. I think we need a map!
Upamountain43 · 13/04/2022 10:02

You sound like you have great kids with a sense of adventure and fun.

Yes tell them off and warn them of the dangers, you are a parent that is your job - but do not take it too seriously.

Is there a risk - Yes but it is incredibly small.

lameasahorse · 13/04/2022 10:15

This reply has been withdrawn

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Serrina · 13/04/2022 10:24

[quote lameasahorse]@Serrina by this age children need to be able to get out themselves if there is a fire. Preventing that is more dangerous.[/quote]
That depends. For example some children with special needs may need to have the front door locked if they are prone to walking out and putting themselves in danger, and in such cases they may not be able to get out themselves regardless of their age.

TroublesomeTrucks · 13/04/2022 10:33

@LoisLane66

You say your front door is set back from the road which means it still faces the road and their room is above it. How could they then exit the front door and go to the front of the house if by going out of the door they were already at the front. Your description makes little sense unless the front door is not facing the road but on another side of the house in which case they could not have dropped something from outside their bedroom window as it's right over the front door and they would not have needed to walk more than a step or two to find it.
Hopefully this makes it clearer.
What were DS (9) and DS (7) doing outside at 2.30am?
OP posts:
Snaketime · 13/04/2022 11:14

I'm sorry but you need to stop being nieve OP. I live in a nice quite safe little village and yet a man in a car followed two young girls and then got out of the car and physically chased them last week.

TroublesomeTrucks · 13/04/2022 11:44

@Snaketime

I'm sorry but you need to stop being nieve OP. I live in a nice quite safe little village and yet a man in a car followed two young girls and then got out of the car and physically chased them last week.
I’m not sure how you think I’m being naive. Saying what they did would have been more dangerous in the centre of a big city is in no way the same as saying it was completely safe because we are in a village.
OP posts:
Catlitterqueen · 13/04/2022 11:56

I agree with pp that it was probably just an adventure or a dare. Being out at that time on their own probably felt exciting.
ExDH as a child once climbed out of a dormer window and sat on the roof. A neighbour alerted his mum.
DD 1 was once found reading Harry Potter at the top of our scaffolding because her younger siblings were getting on her nerves!

Stilsmiling · 13/04/2022 12:04

It’s likely an adventure they were on, innocent enough.
However, it would be worth checking their Chromebooks to view their browsing history. It may be some latest crazy trend or dare like you get on TikTok.

Bootothegoose · 13/04/2022 12:30

@ThorFull

My boys are 6 and 8 and honestly I think this is really funny and really cute. They were on camera, didn’t leave your front garden. Not sure why there’s a need to panic. I’d probably laugh and giggle with them, maybe wind them up a bit making up a mad story about why they were out. Then they’d want to prove me wrong and tell me what they were doing. Then I’d tell them that front door is not safe at night, stick to back garden adventures. I might even leave a cheeky note or a little snack out in case they decide to have another adventure.
The genuinely level of survivor's privilege and naivety on this thread is staggering. 'Stick to back garden adventures?'

This has nothing to do with children being children and going on 'adventures' and everything to do with children doing stupid shit that their parents need to ensure they NEVER do again.

Children is exactly what they are and after bedtime they should stay safely in their beds inside a locked house exactly where their parents know they are.

There is a thread from earlier in the week that appears a stranger was in the house after the OP's grown children came in from a night out and left a door open. We are talking about children waking in the middle of the night, unlocking the house and leaving the property whilst the parents are asleep.

The fact it is a small town or a bustling city is irrelevant. Whether they were emulating the 3am Challenge or wanting a midnight adventure the fact of the matter is that they shouldn't be leaving the house at night because it's DANGEROUS.

Google Jessica Lunford, her Dad left their front door open and went to bed. It was that simple. A predator broke in for something to steal, discovered Jessica and abducted her. Held her in his home, repeatedly sexually assaulted her and then horrifically murdered her. An unlocked door, that was all it took. Far less of a risk than having two extremely young and naive children unlocking the door and leaving the safety of the house.

Sarah Payne, yes that happened during the day but it was a case of an unaccompanied child on the street (a safe village) and her parents not knowing where she was.

Disregarding the safety risk entirely, over 1/3 of burglaries happen through unlocked doors. That isn't taking into account what the fuck would happen to the children or the sleeping family.

That also isn't taking into account that they may hurt themselves, they may cross a road, in the middle of the night on a dead quiet street they could be hit by a car, that driver may not stop. No one would know they were even out of bed.

If posters are genuinely questioning 'what could possibly happen?' use your imagination because it will have happened before to another parent and another child.

You are all possibly right - there is a minimal risk of danger but that minimal risk is still too fucking catastrophic to contemplate. All it would take is for the wrong person to be passing and suddenly life as you knew it is destroyed.

It would be lovely if this was the world we lived in. It isn't. All it takes is one child and one adult with ill-intend. We are good people, if we saw an unaccompanied child on the side of a road instantly we would call the police and do everything in our power to keep them safe. Other people aren't like that.

OP you were staggeringly lucky you have cameras and caught them before. Everyone commenting that they did similar as children are equally lucky. There are children who weren't as lucky, parents who weren't as lucky. No, it probably will never happen to you. It probably won't even happen to someone you know. But there is a chance it might and that is not something to be scoffed at.

ReadyToMoveIt · 13/04/2022 12:43

This has nothing to do with children being children and going on 'adventures' and everything to do with children doing stupid shit that their parents need to ensure they NEVER do again

This. It’s not cute, it’s not funny, it’s dangerous. And at those ages, the children should know it’s stupid, dangerous behaviour. As it appears they don’t know that, now is time to teach them. Not encourage them with notes and snacks.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 10/05/2022 14:09

Weareallvirgins · 11/04/2022 17:51

They are just being children for gods sake.

Well, exactly

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