I have to talk generally here. I know people claim that LTB isn’t often trotted out on here, but I think posters are often urged to think about leaving, even if it’s phrased in ways like ‘why are you still there / what do you get from this / I wouldn’t accept this.’
But once you have even one child, it isn’t as simple as just ending the relationship. I know a lot of people realise this but I think so many people believe that that’s that, you just live your life pretty much as you did before you met him just with the addition of your children.
However, this isn’t the case at all. You still have to manage contact and co parent to an extent. You have to continue to manage relationships with the family and try to agree to a shared approach to problems, which isn’t always easy when a relationship has ended.
I am sure a lot of people manage it admirably but it’s hardly stress free and for many people the remedy is probably worse than the disease if you like.
So - AIBU? I’m not talking about abuse or violence but marriages where perhaps the spark has gone, perhaps there is some selfish or thoughtless behaviour, perhaps you don’t have much in common.