To be a bit fed up of going to bed at 9 every night

[Thescentoftheocean]

My job absolutely exhausts me and that combined with a poor sleeping child means I’m shattered all the time and I need to be in bed by 9 really.

But I want to stay up sometimes, watch a film. I feel like I don’t get much (if any) adult time at the end of the day.

Does anyone else know what I mean?

And a 16 month waking up at night is not a sleep disorder FGS.

9pm is a late night for me, no joke.

I have a still-bfing, cosleeping toddler, a busy job and an under active thyroid.

No lie ins past 6am for me, ever.

I feel the same OP and I don't even have children!

I have a demanding job and most nights end up falling asleep on the couch at 9pm. I try and stay awake because I feel like my evenings are wasted but 9 times out of 10 I give in and end up going to bed.

I envy my friends and colleagues who stay up til midnight or 1am and wake up at 7am feeling refreshed!!

I agree a 16m old washing at night isn't a sleep disorder, i was just saying that only someone who specialises in that can take day what is ok or not from that perspective.

I have no doubt that when my 16m old woke to breastfeed 10+ times a night it was out of a desire for that comfort, and not food. Regardless of the reason though, she still did it, and that's fairly normal.

Though at least waking to feed is often quick. Waking to play, or for other reasons often is far more disruptive on sleep.

Frankly the reason for waking doesn't matter, what matters is the belittling of tiredness felt by the mum of an older child purely based on their age.

Some older babies sleep worse than newborns. The comparative reason for those wakings is immaterial here.

I agree though that the solution is to either go to bed early, be tired, or for the baby's dad to take a more even share of wakings.

I had a non-sleeping child, and it was exhausting. It won’t be this way forever and you will regain your evenings.
I do still love an early night though - it’s a little treat to myself.

Nobody has belittled the OP babyboom and your strawman responses here are pretty puzzling.

How have we moved onto sleep disorders and constantly waking babies (neither of which the OP mentioned) when all she said was she wanted to more than just flake out at 9pm.

Having small kids is tiring. Having lots of small kids is knackering. Having a newborn is utterly exhausting because of increased feeds and healing from pregnancy, and doing it all alone is even worse.

Going to bed at 9pm is a requirement if needs must, the OP has says she’s not happy with this, not much else to be done here other than be more sociable and stay tired, or just stay tired and be unhappy with your lot. Sher exhaustion with one baby and 9pm consistent bedtimes, if prolonged should be discussed with a HCP.

I really don’t know why you keep messaging me directly - you are talking about things that aren’t relevant to OP, nor useful in helping her.

So, Have a good evening and I hope you manage to feel rested.

As a separate point, mine are all much older and I
am still tired. Not sure it ever goes back to normal - just my view of course, or maybe I have particularly bad teens 🤦🏼‍♀️(although my eldest has finally calmed down) 🤷🏼‍♀️😆

I go to bed at 8 or 9 and watch TV in bed. I feel more rested doing that than I do staying up in the Living Room watching TV and going to bed later.

The OP says her child is a poor sleeper and she is woken all night. She may well be more tired than she was when she had a newborn.

This isn't a strawman argument, it's different experiences.

I was actually quite rested with my newborns. A break from a very stressful job, more sleep than I'd had in years and not being pregnant made it like a break. Toddler broken sleep nearly broke me.

Balancing broken sleep with work can bea nightmare. I totally understand why the OP feels as she does.