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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Driver wanting me to give way

92 replies

Bootwall · 10/04/2022 07:20

If cars are parked on your left and an oncoming car is, well, coming, it's up to you to give way/move out of the way, right?

A driver bombed it around a corner, vehicles parked on his left (my right) we came to be about 10 meters apart, he's now on my side of the road, so we both stopped. He gestured for me to reverse back, but there was only a very small space I would have needed to parallel park on my right, further around the corner, into an awkward space - he had lots more room to reverse into.

I refused and indicated for him to reverse. He then inched forward and forward and forward, looking furious, until we were bumper to bumper. I turned my ignition off.

Luckily a neighbour (I was on my street) came out and came over to my car, asking if I was okay - at this point the other car then decided to reverse (badly) and I still had to mount the pavement to get by.

The cars were on his side- his problem to get out of the way, or WIBU?

Often I do give way if it's obviously easier for me to do so, been driving 20 years and never had an issue like this before! Second guessing myself because he was seemed so adamant I needed to move!

OP posts:

DownNative · 10/04/2022 15:12

@ASaucerfulOfSecrets

Coming home with DD in her car the other week and we get to a crossroads with lights. Its one of those thats quite tight and if a bus or lorry is turning left into it whilst you're sat waiting for the lights it's incredibly close and very tricky for the bigger vehicle.

DD, knowing this well, stops about 8ft back of the white line waiting for her lights to change. Man in BMW behind is absolutely furious. He's on the horn, pointing angrily at the fact she's not fully up to the line, waving his arms. He can go absolutely nowhere until the lights change, but for some reason where DD has stopped infuriates him.

Her point is proven moments later when a bus turns the corner and gives her a thumbs up for leaving him the room.

Some drivers are just little balls of anger in metal boxes.

Your DD has excellent observational skills. Excellent to hear this!

chisanunian · 10/04/2022 15:12

Same thing happened to me once, and fortunately for me, there was a large intimidating bloke in the car behind me who was also being held up. He got out and remonstrated with them.

They reversed out of the way pretty sharpish.

JudgeJ · 10/04/2022 15:13

Reminds me of the time I was going through a narrow tunnel under a railway, the signs were that the car coming the other way has priority. However until that car has made the turn into the tunnel they can't be seen so I was 3/4 of the way through the tunnel when he appeared, flashing, clearly expecting me to reverse back up rather than wait 5 seconds. I did reverse, very bady and incredibloy slowly, having to correct my terrible reversing a number of times, as he bombed pass me he was purple with anger and venting his repetoire of Anglo-Saxon though I doubt the pouting kiss a blew helped! I probably felt far better than he did.

ASaucerfulOfSecrets · 10/04/2022 15:24

Raise it with the roads department, if there is genuine need for vehicles to cross lanes when turning the corner the line your DD was sitting back from should be moved back. They usually are.

Probably not a bad idea actually. It's been this way since I was learning and although the white line is still further back it's still not quite far enough for a lorry or bus to comfortably swing. Might drop an email tomorrow.

Your DD has excellent observational skills. Excellent to hear this!

I admit I had a proud moment.

Original poster

Bootwall · 10/04/2022 16:14

Surely you reverse a car length and let them pull into that gap to let you past?

The only gap as such was 20 meters behind me further around the corner, and tricky/awkward- made much more sense to me for him to reverse 5 meters into his gap.

Reversing 20 meters, with a bend, then parallel parking into a very tight/awkward spot on my right would have taken me ages too, and sadly not on purpose! I'm confident reversing but I'm not The Stig

OP posts:

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 10/04/2022 16:23

@Bootwall

Surely you reverse a car length and let them pull into that gap to let you past?

The only gap as such was 20 meters behind me further around the corner, and tricky/awkward- made much more sense to me for him to reverse 5 meters into his gap.

Reversing 20 meters, with a bend, then parallel parking into a very tight/awkward spot on my right would have taken me ages too, and sadly not on purpose! I'm confident reversing but I'm not The Stig

Also very dangerous to be reversing around corners, especially if there's parked cars on one side.

Some people will just do anything possible to avoid reversing.

DH once got out of the car and reversed someones' car into the passing place behind them because they were refusing and wanted him to reverse around two corners on a single track road covered in snow instead

Quirrelsotherface · 10/04/2022 16:28

People are definitely getting angrier on the roads. We were driving into a car park today, car reverses out of a space in front of us, so DH waits. Not so we could go in that space, just so the car could manouvre out and we couldn't have got round anyway.

So car pulls out and starts driving out and couple in the car start gesticulating and shouting at us as they went past. I had to laugh because we literally hadn't done anything, just waited kindly for them to reverse!

mum11970 · 10/04/2022 16:37

It depends if the other car was committed first. If the car with the obstruction on their side was already coming through, they have right of way. If you both got there at the same time then the car without the obstruction on their side has right of way. If on a hill the car going up hill has the right of way.

mum11970 · 10/04/2022 16:40

How on earth were you both coming round a corner?

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 10/04/2022 16:47

@mum11970

How on earth were you both coming round a corner?

Easily, surely? There's a corner and they're both coming round the curve from different directions.

Neverreturntoathread · 10/04/2022 16:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Original poster

Bootwall · 10/04/2022 16:54

@mum11970

How on earth were you both coming round a corner?

I'm trying to think of explaining better but all I've got is "it's a....corner!" Big sweep of a curve, with parked cars only on one side of the road.

OP posts:

mum11970 · 10/04/2022 17:27

So there’s are sweep on both ends of the road with a straight between the two? If he shot round whilst you were already there then you have right way. He would have right of way if you had come round the corner and he had already started to pass the parked cars. If you both arrived at pretty much the same time then you would have priority.

Bumply · 10/04/2022 17:35

My street is like this. Parked cars on one side with the odd gap.
Quite often two cars would come head to head having not realised the other was there.
I always figured it was polite for whoever had the easiest/shortest reverse options to be the one to do so and I did once end up in a standoff where I turned the car off and pulled a book out to read, which just led to the other angry man driving over the grass verge.

Now I've got a new car with reversing camera I'm more likely to take pity on a man who can't reverse and take my time to reverse 100m or more

Duchess379 · 10/04/2022 20:22

I have a road near my house that's exactly like this. It has a slight right bend to it & cars parked on either side of the road. It is, in effect, now a single lane, in favour of oncoming traffic. But most people in the neighbourhood use their common sense & slow right down to gauge if it's clear to proceed, otherwise you'll end up having a head on.

ancientgran · 10/04/2022 20:34

I had a stand off with one of the mums from the local school last week. The traffic situation is a nightmare at drop off and pick up time, they park badly, often right on a bend. Anyway I'd had enough and just refused to budge, I normally will back up for them but I'd already done it once that morning and I just thought no I'm not giving way.

It is upsetting though when people are clearly angry, waving fists etc but well done on holding your own.

mum11970 · 11/04/2022 16:30

@bluebaul

I suppose if OP were to clarify whether the other driver was committed at the point she appeared would help in making the decision. If she was already there and he just drive towards her then yes he is a prick. However if he had started and committed to that manoeuvre when his oath was clear and OP then came along and kept going because 'the obstruction is on his side' then actually OP would be in the wrong.

Totally agree ^^

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