Surname

[Mp41]

I've always said when I have children I want them to have my surname. Me, my sister and cousins have our mother's name, also it's nice to know that whatever happens in life all siblings will share the same name.
It's the 21st century surely we have the right to name our children as we wish? The birth certificate will still have mothers and father's name nothing changes that.

Does this sound unreasonable??

Doesn’t sound unreasonable at all; I kept my name when I got married and if we have children then they’ll have my surname

You do have the right to give them your name.

Assuming you're in the UK anyway.

Of course not, of course your partner may have the same opinion as you so you'll have to agree

Why have you posted this twice?

Agreed. So i did it, and all is fine?

What’s got your back up?

Is there any law on what happens if the father disagrees?

DS has my name, it just seemed a normal thing to do. DP didn't mind. We have a civil partnership and kept our own names too.

It's the 21st century surely we have the right to name our children as we wish?

Yes, it is and, yes, we do. What is your AIBU?

You do have the right

My baby has both of our last names (we aren't married). If baby only had his surname if I ever needed to make any changes (if we broke up and he refused to make the changes) then I wouldn't have permission to do it, even though I'm her mother. That's for unmarried parents which I think is ridiculous.

So she has both our last names but as introduce her as his surname.

Who is saying you can't?

No idea why you're started two threads on this, but this is what I said on the other thread:
The only person whose opinion on how reasonable it is is the baby's other parent. The baby having either or both of the parents' names isn't unreasonable as long as both are happy with it.

@dg93

My baby has both of our last names (we aren't married). If baby only had his surname if I ever needed to make any changes (if we broke up and he refused to make the changes) then I wouldn't have permission to do it, even though I'm her mother. That's for unmarried parents which I think is ridiculous.

So she has both our last names but as introduce her as his surname.

It doesn't matter who's, or how many, last names she has. Or if you were married. You can't change a child's name without the permission of everyone with PR.

They can change it themselves when they are 16 though.

English law places no restrictions as to what surname may be registered for a child in the UK.

ie. You can use father's surname, mother's surname, both (hyphenated or not and in any order) or even something completely unrelated to either parent.

it's nice to know that whatever happens in life all siblings will share the same name.

That isn't true though.

It's the 21st century surely we have the right to name our children as we wish?

You have that right already.

Does this sound unreasonable??

Does what sound unreasonable?

All you have done is posted something that is allowed and said it should be allowed

Yeah you can give them YOUR surname - if the childrens father is OK with it. But you must expect everyone to assume that HE is not the father of any of the children. Coz that's what will happen.

Yeah you can give them YOUR surname - if the childrens father is OK with it. But you must expect everyone to assume that HE is not the father of any of the children. Coz that's what will happen.

What a weird view of the world you have. If a child has its (alleged) fathers surname, do you presume that SHE is not the mother of the child?

@HulaTheHedgehog

Yeah you can give them YOUR surname - if the childrens father is OK with it. But you must expect everyone to assume that HE is not the father of any of the children. Coz that's what will happen.

Really?

It’s vastly more likely that people will assume the family name is also the husband’s name, surely?

Of course it's legal and allowed but many posters are avoiding the point that lots of people get funny about it - esp men and families of dads when this is suggested.

I have friends who have done it but the dads weren't particularly happy, as there is a social expectation that a child have the father's name - and when it doesn't, the assumption is that he's not the father.

So in my view it's as acceptable as giving it just the father's name.

I'm a big fan of double barrel names so that each parent's connection is recognised, but people get very funny about them for some reason

If you are married your husband gets equal say. If this is going to be problematic then you are best to have children without being married as it's then solely your choice. Assuming you are in the UK.

My children have my name . The eldest is 30 now.
This is nothing new.
If you want to do it then do it.

@HulaTheHedgehog

Yeah you can give them YOUR surname - if the childrens father is OK with it. But you must expect everyone to assume that HE is not the father of any of the children. Coz that's what will happen.

@MissTrip82

Really?!

It’s vastly more likely that people will assume the family name is also the husband’s name, surely?

Don't be pedantic. I OBVIOUSLY meant people will assume the man isn't the childrens father, when they discover he has a different surname to the children, (and the childrens mother !!!)

it's nice to know that whatever happens in life all siblings will share the same name.

Give them whatever surname you want, but this isn’t true. They can change their own surname later in life.
Obviously YANBU to want to give your child your surname.

I have both my dad’s and my mum’s surnames. As does the whole of Spain. My children will be having one of my names and one of their dad’s. It’s been centuries since this was implemented, and Spanish people manage to cope just fine. Of course it’s not unreasonable to want your child to have your name.