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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Letting DS sharing his Easter prize

74 replies

DragonFlowers4 · 09/04/2022 19:09

Had a call from the school yesterday to say that DS(7) had won the school Easter raffle and could yhey put his picture on the schools social media page. I said yes and a few minutes later there was a picture of DS with a massive hamper full of different Easter eggs and sweets.

So I went to pick him up from school and the teacher asked me to come into the classroom where DS was sitting with his prize. DS declared he wanted to give some of his prize to the egg collection the school was having for charity but the teacher said he had to wait to ask me first.

So I talked to DS about it for a bit and he was still really keen to give some of it to the collection and ended up putting in some of the medium Easter eggs (around 5 in total)

DS then gave a giant Easter egg and a cuddly toy to his sister and a medium Easter egg for his best friend.

DS was still left with a giant egg and a cuddly toy for himself, a medium Easter egg and loads of little chocolate eggs and bags of chewy sweets and chocolate rabbits. He was really pleased with all thus and I told him how proud he was for sharing his prize.

Anyway so today the DCS went to ExHs house and I got a call from him at lunch asking why I had let DS give away most of his prize. He had seen the picture of social media and had asked DS about it and DS had told him what he had done.

ExH was really angry with me, he said I had let DS give away a his prize and DS would be upset when he looks back and realises that I didn't protect him form losing out.

I explained that it was DSs idea but Ex said I should have stopped him and DS will be upset later on. I gave up in the end cause we were just arguing around in circles so I hung up. But now he keeps sending me messages asking if I can get the eggs back and saying that he will buy the kids extra Easter eggs to make up for it.

So now I'm sitting here feeling guilty that I didn't talk DS out of it. While it was DS who brought it up I was quite pleased when he wanted to give some away. The DCS already get around 7 Easter eggs at Easter plus loads of extras from family and I wasn't keen for him to have double that again.

So was I being unreasonable to let DS give his prize away without stopping him or thinking about it more.

OP posts:

Original poster

DragonFlowers4 · 09/04/2022 20:21

No he didn't give his dad an egg.
He has taken some of the sweets to share with his dad and sister while he is there.

I don't know if it's cause he didn't get an egg I feel like it's more he just likes trying to upset me. When we where together I used to tell all the things I worried about while being a mum and now we are separated he seems to use these insecurities to try and get to me .

OP posts:

Original poster

DragonFlowers4 · 09/04/2022 20:24

Yes I'm also worried he might say something to DS to make him feel bad. Luckily DD is also there and will probably tell DS hoe pleased she is in my absence (she loves chocolate and was over the moon he gave her a giant egg)

OP posts:

Floralnomad · 09/04/2022 20:24

Just ignore him , your son sounds like a lovely little boy .

PinkSyCo · 09/04/2022 20:25

Aww what a lovely little boy you have. It’s such a shame his dad was so negative about his kindness and I do hope he hasn’t made your DS feel bad for being nice.

Hankunamatata · 09/04/2022 20:26

Your ds still has loads sweet stuff left after his lovely gesture. Your ex is a twat.

Neverreturntoathread · 09/04/2022 20:27

Your ex is just looking for an argument.

Is he seriously suggesting that a seven year old should eat that much junk and sugar?!! Giving some of it away was the only rational thing to do with it.

LibrariesGiveUsPower · 09/04/2022 20:32

Your ex is clearly an ex for very good reasons.

Your son sounds like an absolutely awesome kid. Well done for being an awesome mum.

LibrariesGiveUsPower · 09/04/2022 20:33

@DragonFlowers4

No he didn't give his dad an egg. He has taken some of the sweets to share with his dad and sister while he is there.

He’s 100% trying to upset you

AngeloMysterioso · 09/04/2022 20:34

Your DS is a sweetheart. Clearly not a quality he inherited from his father…

IggyAce · 09/04/2022 20:34

Your ds sounds lovely and the world needs more people like him and definitely less of those like your twat of an ex.
Seriously there is no way your ds would have eaten all that chocolate.

dworky · 09/04/2022 20:36

I've come across ultra selfish people like that & because they would never consider doing anything for anyone else, they consider it a weakness & look down on those who do.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 09/04/2022 20:40

Your son did a lovely thing and he'll look back and see what he did was a lovely thing. Your son sounds lovely and really kind, thankfully he sounds nothing like his father.

PrinnyPree · 09/04/2022 20:44

Your ex is an absolute nobsplash that he is actively trying to negate your son's good deed!

Your son will be enjoying the feeling of benevolence and it is probably the first time he's ever really had the opportunity to do such a kind thing on that scale, how dare your ex try to take that away from him!

user75 · 09/04/2022 20:46

Your son is an absolute credit to you, well done :)

stuntbubbles · 09/04/2022 20:46

What a lovely kid – well done. And what a bellend ex.

sqirrelfriends · 09/04/2022 20:56

He has a kind heart OP, it's something you should be really proud of.

Silverclocks · 09/04/2022 20:59

Your DS will remember the day he won and was able to make lots of people happy far more than he'll regret not keeping the chocolate to himself (I.e. not at all)

I think you have to assume ex was having bad day and this is about something else entirely.

Luredbyapomegranate · 09/04/2022 21:02

I can see why your Ex is an ex

Insane. And mean spirited.

You and your son sound like you have a fabulous relationship and he is growing up to be delightful young man.

RightOnTheEdge · 09/04/2022 21:03

He's a total ding-dong!
Just ignore him OP and thank your lucky stars that he's your ex and your lovely, kind boy obviously takes after you.

Clarinet1 · 09/04/2022 21:05

I’m with everyone else - your DS did a lovely, generous thing of his own volition (after consulting you, the parent in charge at the time). His father is being totally U! I would be very proud if he were a child of mine!

runsmidgeOMG · 09/04/2022 21:21

Wow OP !!! What an ex...

You've done right by your son, you really have and don't let his downright abusive approach make you feel otherwise.

When your son comes home reiterate what a great thing he did and honestly I think he'll still agree.

Hugs for you !

Belkell · 09/04/2022 21:25

This post absolutely nails it for me.

It’s so rare as a kid that you ever get the chance to be generous on and kind of grand(er) scale. This could wel be a defining moment for your son, a first taste of the feeling you get when you do something nice

Don’t let twatfeatures piss on it. And remember he’s only pissing on it to fuck with YOU. Not because he particularly cares. He could perfectly well reward your son by saying that was so kind and generous of you I’m going to reward you with a treat equal to what you have given away. And not mentioning it to you except in passing after the fact.

But he hasn’t done that has he. He’s just leapt onto the opportunity to fuck with you. And piss on a child’s chips for good measure.

KateTheEighth · 09/04/2022 21:43

Your ex is a dick

No child needs that much chocolate

vivkensington · 10/04/2022 08:09

How many eggs does a small child need?! My first thought was it would be ridiculous to give that amount of chocolate to one child. So can't understand what the problem is with giving some away.
Your boy sounds lovely

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