Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Letting DS sharing his Easter prize

74 replies

DragonFlowers4 · 09/04/2022 19:09

Had a call from the school yesterday to say that DS(7) had won the school Easter raffle and could yhey put his picture on the schools social media page. I said yes and a few minutes later there was a picture of DS with a massive hamper full of different Easter eggs and sweets.

So I went to pick him up from school and the teacher asked me to come into the classroom where DS was sitting with his prize. DS declared he wanted to give some of his prize to the egg collection the school was having for charity but the teacher said he had to wait to ask me first.

So I talked to DS about it for a bit and he was still really keen to give some of it to the collection and ended up putting in some of the medium Easter eggs (around 5 in total)

DS then gave a giant Easter egg and a cuddly toy to his sister and a medium Easter egg for his best friend.

DS was still left with a giant egg and a cuddly toy for himself, a medium Easter egg and loads of little chocolate eggs and bags of chewy sweets and chocolate rabbits. He was really pleased with all thus and I told him how proud he was for sharing his prize.

Anyway so today the DCS went to ExHs house and I got a call from him at lunch asking why I had let DS give away most of his prize. He had seen the picture of social media and had asked DS about it and DS had told him what he had done.

ExH was really angry with me, he said I had let DS give away a his prize and DS would be upset when he looks back and realises that I didn't protect him form losing out.

I explained that it was DSs idea but Ex said I should have stopped him and DS will be upset later on. I gave up in the end cause we were just arguing around in circles so I hung up. But now he keeps sending me messages asking if I can get the eggs back and saying that he will buy the kids extra Easter eggs to make up for it.

So now I'm sitting here feeling guilty that I didn't talk DS out of it. While it was DS who brought it up I was quite pleased when he wanted to give some away. The DCS already get around 7 Easter eggs at Easter plus loads of extras from family and I wasn't keen for him to have double that again.

So was I being unreasonable to let DS give his prize away without stopping him or thinking about it more.

OP posts:
Haus1234 · 09/04/2022 19:40

What a kind boy. I assume this attitude is all part of the reason why their dad is an ex!

Original poster
DragonFlowers4 · 09/04/2022 19:40

Well there's a lot of backstory between EX and I.
A lot of the things we did with the DCS he now disagrees with for example at Easter we always got the DCS a book or a craft activity for Easter because they have so many sweets from other people. EX always thought this was a great idea and loved choosing things for them. But now he's decided that I'm being mean and I should just get the kids chocolate cause its Easter.

OP posts:
tkwal · 09/04/2022 19:41

What a lovely son you have. Willing to share his prize instead of hoarding it all for himself. He got to enjoy it by sharing it . I would remind his dad that he's an ex for a reason

Soubriquet · 09/04/2022 19:45

What a kind boy. He has a good heart

Good on him and good on you for letting him

Georgeskitchen · 09/04/2022 19:46

I bet your glad this tool is your ex
What a lovely generous and thoughtful son you have. You should be very proud of him. You are absolutely NOT being unreasonable letting him do this!!

SalmonEile · 09/04/2022 19:46

So there was 9-10 Easter eggs in the hamper as well as the smaller bits (that he kept)

Your ex is being weird.
Your son did a lovely thing by wanting to donate and sharing with his sister and his friend !
No child needs ten Easter eggs , he hasn’t missed out on his prize unless he never gets chocolate any other time of the year and surely a hamper like that is designed to be shared.
It was also a raffle and therefore just lucky , not like he worked for it and had his hard earned reward taken off him against his will!
If he’d won a thousand quid and wanted to give most of it away I might think your ex had a point but honestly it’s just chocolate
Ignore him If he wants to replace the eggs then more fool him he should be praising his sons generosity

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 09/04/2022 19:46

So glad your ex is your ex with a nasty attitude like that! Your DS sounds like a lovely thoughtful young man, no wonder you are proud of him. Pity his dad is - whatever he is.

OnaBegonia · 09/04/2022 19:49

How is he losing out? It's eggs he never expected to have, can you get them back? how ridiculous and selfish. Your Ex sounds like a compete twat.

Comefromaway · 09/04/2022 19:50

What a lovely, kind boy you have raised.

huuskymam · 09/04/2022 19:51

Your son is a little sweetheart and would probably have been upset if you hadn't let him share. Your ex is an arsehole.

StScholastica · 09/04/2022 19:52

Be proud of your boy, he sounds lovely.
Your ex on the other hand.......

Mariposista · 09/04/2022 19:53

Your ex is insane not to think your kid is a really kind, unselfish and mature child - not many 7 year olds would have done what he did. He should be proud of him!

CaptainMyCaptain · 09/04/2022 19:55

Your son sounds like a wonderful, kind boy and you should be proud of him. It was a lovely thing to do and your ex is a twat

AntarcticTern · 09/04/2022 19:57

Stop engaging with him OP. "Ok, thanks for your opinion."

Original poster
DragonFlowers4 · 09/04/2022 20:00

Well thank you all for making me see sense. EX just has this way of making me feel like I'm going to mess up the DCS by doing the wrong thing.
He is still messaging me now saying that he is going to buy the kids more eggs and making it sound like he is covering for me mistakes.
I told him he didn't need too the DCs were happy but of course he just keeps saying that DS will be upset when he realises I didn't stop him giving away his prize.

OP posts:
Stomacharmeleon · 09/04/2022 20:03

Ignore ignore ignore....
And do something nice for you.

SnackSizeRaisin · 09/04/2022 20:05

DS will be upset when he realises I didn't stop him giving away his prize.

That's a weird thing for him to think. If your ds does say this, just remind him how happy he made the people he shared with, and what a kind person he is.
You could also say that eating all that chocolate himself would have been unhealthy and bad for his teeth.
A prize like that is obviously designed to be shared anyway

GetOffTheTableMabel · 09/04/2022 20:08

You DS sounds lovely and it was clearly the right thing to support and encourage his ideas about sharing. It sounds as though you need a way to bring a close to circular discussions with your ExH because they really just amount to him hectoring you.
Something like “I have understood your point but I don’t agree with you and I am not going to change my mind”. He sounds like a selfish gobshite and the point of not being married to him anymore must surely be that you don’t have to listen to him ranting on and on.

DebussytoaDiscoBeat · 09/04/2022 20:10

Did your son give any of the easter eggs to his dad? Not saying he should have done, but was wondering whether there was some misdirected anger going on from you ex (who sounds like a selfish dick).

FatEaredFuck · 09/04/2022 20:12

No wonder he's your ex!

Original poster
DragonFlowers4 · 09/04/2022 20:13

Your right I'll stop replying it's getting me nowhere anyway.
I agree I think it was designed to be shared, it would be a lot of chocolate for one person even if he got nothing else at Easter.

OP posts:
Holskey · 09/04/2022 20:14

You're right, he's wrong, and that would be far too much chocolate for one little boy anyway.

Babdoc · 09/04/2022 20:16

Your ex is just looking for ways to mess with your head and guilt trip you. If DS hadn’t shared the hamper, ex would probably have complained that all those eggs will rot his teeth and that you are raising him to be selfish.
Stop doubting yourself, OP. You were right to support your DS’s lovely decision.
Easter celebrates the resurrection of Jesus and the triumph of love over evil. You and DS’s actions are fully in the spirit.

Chloemol · 09/04/2022 20:19

YANBU, your ex is a dick and it looks like your son is, thankfully, not taking after him

He sounds a very kind little boy and you should be very proud of him and how you are bringing him up

jellybeanteaparty · 09/04/2022 20:20

My concern is that Dad may be saying stuff to your son that then makes him feel sad he shared it so perhaps have something up your sleeve. Along the lines of I am so proud of you sharing your hamper ( you will not miss out on chocolate this Easter) that I got your favourite meal/a book/a craft set/something for your room/trip out