Financial transparency

[Staryflight445]

Aibu I’m thinking that being financially transparent with your husband/ wife is extremely important?

How financially transparent are you?

I think its extremely important if you're married since you're legally bound. I'm not married any more so there's no need to be transparent with anyone.

100% transparency in our home.

My husband and I have separate accounts but are talking about getting a joint account. Currently he transfers over a set amount to an account which we then pay for certain things out of. We both know how much the other earns and he know what saving pots we have for things like car insurance and road tax, cleaner etc

You don't necessarily need to be 100% transparent, but it needs to be fair.

Joint costs paid for out of joint income, discussion and agreement about larger purchases, lifestyle, savings, equality of pensions even when one party has stepped back/given up work to look after DC.

But each party also has some personal money that they are free to spend on themselves or save without scrutiny from the other.

We have very little which suits both of us.

Joint bank account...both sets of wages go in and we both spend from it. Completely transparent. We also have joint savings

It’s totally vital.

Transparency on what you earn, your major assets and debts, discussion of big purchases - totally.

Needing to see every purchase - fine, as long as it doesn’t tip over into controlling (or be perceived as that, even u intentionally).

Hmmm well we have pay all bills jointly, have joint savings and know what eachother earn, but I don't know how much exactly he has in personal savings and he doesn't know how much I have, works for us. I'd be really annoyed if he was in debt though and didn't say.

We have separate accounts but 100% transparent

I’m not because he’s not. Money has gone out of our joint account and savings account to pay off his credit cards. I don’t get to see any CC statements as it’s all on line.
It’s one of those things where partners are entitled to privacy.

Depends on what you mean.

Financial transparency for somes means going through a statement and getting g the partner to account for every penny spent. That could just be abuse, depending on the back ground.

It could mean ensuring things are fair and everyone knows the income, savings debt levels etc.

My stance is that I won't marry anyone because I don't want to be legally and financially tied to anyone. I don't expect it from him either. He can't leave me in a poor financial position, so we are OK with that situation. Dp knows roughly what I earn. I know what roughly he earns. We know what we are paying in bills. I'd we are saving for something we know what each other is putting away for it and then that's it. He knows I have investments. But no detail about them.

We're 100% transparent but we've been together for a very long time since our late teens. From our wedding we shared all income and outgoings and only have joint accounts and joint credit cards so everything is completely visable.
The downside is that there are no surprises for gift buying but I prefer that to having secret debts.

Next to no transparency. Always been the same and we’ve been married for 28 years. Works for us, we never argue about money but I realise this is a minority position! We are financially independent in that neither of us depends on the other’s income (I am the higher earner).

We have a joint pot for house bills, split according to our earnings....then whats left is our own. However we know each others rough savings pots and neither of us are in debt. We dont have kids, I guess it would be different if we did.

Separate here. He never asks so I don't tell!
4 dc and only 1 is his. I am no way justifying my spending on my dc so can't see how joint finances would work for us.

Interesting mix of responses here, thanks!

Not much really .. we have separate accounts, and a “billing account” - we both transfer into the billing account, but keep other stuff separate. I pay for day to day running with my account, DH does all the saving from his . Works fine for us, been together 20 years

Definitely transparency for big things but not the finer details.

We both know what our overall financial situation is - how much each other earns, bills, savings, etc. We both get an equal amount of spending money and big spends are joint decisions.

But I don't know what he spends his money on day to day and vice versa. I think a certain level of privacy is right, but we need to each know where we stand in order to plan our future, retirement, emergencies etc

All pretty clear here. Dotted around in various places, I tell DH, he probably doesn’t listen, but he’s not bothered about money really so I put it where I think it’s best. No secrets, but I guess I could hide it if he’s not paying attention!

I know about DHs finances and our joint ones; I’m also quite switched on about where any disposable income of his goes.
He doesn’t seem bothered to know much about mine

We have nearly 100% transparency, both salaries paid into the joint account and all bills, child related expenses & savings come out of that account. We each transfer the same amount of money each month to our own account and that is ours to spend or save as we wish.

100% transparency with us. I'm constantly asking my DH to update me on his financial position and I do the same in return.

We have separate bank accounts and don’t really discuss money but we don’t really need to - we both have enough.

I probably have more of an idea if his position than he has of mine, but that’s because he just doesn’t really care.

100% transparent here, we have separate accounts but we open them up together a few times a month and sort out who is paying for what and how much we can afford to save each month.