Financial transparency

[Staryflight445]

Aibu I’m thinking that being financially transparent with your husband/ wife is extremely important?

How financially transparent are you?

I should say I do have a spreadsheet which contains details of my bank accounts, investments, pension, insurances etc. He’s never actually seen it though.

DH isn't very honest when it comes to money, drives me mad. So now I have one savings account that I keep private.
I control the joint account as it's mostly for household and child related stuff, I don't have much for luxuries for myself but he keeps a good amount for luxuries for himself. He's quick to point out that he is the sole earner if I complain, big downside of being a sahm.

Separate bank accounts our salaries are paid into, both pay into a joint bills account. Our personal accounts are then used for our personal expenses and we have individual savings/investments. Totally transparent with each other when it comes to salaries/bonuses. I manage our finances and know roughly what he has in savings, he knows I have a decent amount of savings but I think I have much more than he thinks. He doesn’t take much interest in our finances as he’s knows I’m on top of it and I wouldn’t hide/lie about what I have saved, but he doesn’t ask.

I took over all of our budgeting and accounts a few years ago so I have access to all the banking records now.

I think it's really important, one of the (many) reasons I split up with my EXDP, was that he was not.

I wanted us to have a joint account which both salaries would go into, then have our own accounts outside this for transferring equal amounts to.

Despite the fact that I earned twice what he did, he refused on the basis that "I might steal all his money" 🙄🙄🙄 Together we could have saved a vast amount of money, as having two pairs of eyes on transactions would likely make me more cautious about spending, however it was not to be, due to his distrust.

Now, having had 2DC with my EXDP, I would share limited information with a new DP, as I feel my money is my DC's. I would be unlikely to move in with a new DP for the same reason.