Should I have a baby?

[TheBigQuestion]

Posting here for traffic: DD is 8, likely has high-functioning autism, and is lovely but looking after her is demanding - she has daily outbursts which need us to be very calm and reassuring to help her emotionally regulate herself. She has also never slept on her own, though shes now on melatonin, which has been transformianal, and she's keen to try sleeping on her own now. DH is supportive, but I do all tbe fact finding and coming up with strategies to support DD, and he almos certain has ASD himself, and fi ds it very hard to sense her moods and emotionally support her.

DD was a very high-needs baby (never slept, cried lots, needed to be held constantly), and I was so traumatised that I swore I would never have another child. More recently, Ive figured out that the way to look after her is to be really kind, empathetic, cuddly and reassuring (even when she is having a melted about something bonkers li brushing her teeth, or something that happened 6 months ago) - none of which is me at all, except I've done it so often that it IS (at leads part of me) now.

And completely unexpectedly, my body has decided that this means I'm ready to have a baby: I am so, so broody.

So mumsnetters, should I do it? Vote YABU if you think.its nuts to consider another chikd at age 44 with a difficulty -to-manage 8 year old, and a husband who can't fullly manage her. Vote YANBU if you think.its always nuts to have kids, and that I am so used to sleep deprivation that a baby will be no problem, and chubby baby wrists are wortg it all. And please excuse typos: my tablet hatesme and would vote YABU.

I have 2 children on the spectrum and they have a big age gap. I found it easier with dd 15 cause I was younger and had a lot more energy. I've found it harder with DS 5 I'm more tired and have no energy most days.
What made things worse was throwing a new baby into the mix DS 5 is still struggling having a baby in the house 5 months on. When the baby cries it cause DS to have a full blown meltdown.

You've got your work cut out with DD and DH, and have risen magnificently to the challenge. I don't doubt you'd do so again if you had another high needs baby. Which is a possibility to consider, given your age. Menopause on the horizon too.

But I'd be less sanguine about how DD and DH would cope with another high needs baby. They both sound as if they are at full stretch already and there might not be any give left in them.

In your shoes I'd probably stick with one and not risk breaking the family camel's back.

I have ten years between mine, both NT, I was 25 and 35 and it was still is a massive struggle.