If you don't fear (or struggle with) sickness bugs, how do you feel about/deal with them?

[707smile]

Hi,

I have very severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (contamination and other obsessions) and vomit phobia. I'm constantly terrified of contracting stomach bugs to the extent that I'm agoraphobic and unable to do the vast majority normal activities. I particularly struggle with eating as I'm terrified of catching Norovirus (which is often caught from someone handling your food with the infection) or bacterial food poisoning.

If you don't have Emetophobia or any particular anxiety around stomach bugs- how do you feel about and deal with bugs?

Thanks!

It's not something I look forward to and/or enjoy but I don't think about it really unless I start to feel unwell. It's horrible at the time but it's a part of life and I know I'll get through it so I just don't think about it really unless I get unwell.

I'm a bit cautious with food eg never go over used by dates even though I know they're not set in
Stone . When I ate meat I was very wary of chicken and am more relaxed about food since giving up meat - I'm very food safety conscious but also very on it with hand hygiene - cos of work I'm always ring and watch free anyway and short nails etc and if the kids do have a bug it's loads of ventilation and zoflora

I am emetophobic, but I'm nowhere near as bad as I used to be and don't really spend much time obsessing about it - unless something happens to bring it to the forefront of my mind.

When I was a teenager, If someone in the same class as me had a sickness bug, I just wouldn't eat anything for a few days until I felt the risk had passed (I reasoned that I couldn't be sick if there was nothing in my stomach, but now I'm a bit older and wiser, I know that that isn't necessarily the case!). If I went out to eat, I would only eat chips - yes, chips and nothing else because I reasoned that chips didn't give you food poisoning.

These days, I'm a lot more relaxed. However, if I went abroad, I would probably revert to eating just chips (and maybe crisps) and if one or more of my children has a bug, then my husband deals with it - he finds that easier than dealing with my anxiety about it.

I have had some EMDR related to my fear and I think that it has helped. Also, instances of it being few and far between (I'm blood group B) have lulled me into a false sens of security, I think.

If I do get ill though, I will pace about for hours and hours until the nausea passes - it's exhausting and I so wish I wasn't so scared. I still can't quite compute that I could vomit and still be OK........

I said that my husband would rather deal with the kids than cope with my anxiety - the last time one of the kids was ill, he forbade me to come home from work and told me to go and check into a hotel for the night!

Made me feel like an awful mother for abandoning my child when he was ill, but dh said I'd just upset him even more.....

Ive been struggling with bulimia for years so the idea of being sick, horribly, fills me with joy. Like a job I don't have to do myself.
I see being sick or having the shits (something I regularly deal with as my digestive system is fucked) as an easy way to meet my goals.

It's horribly wrong and I know this but it doesn't change my mindset

Sorry this is such difficult thing for you OP. Like others have said, I never think about it and I'm very rarely sick or ill. I seem to have a strong stomach, can only remember having food poisoning once when backpacking in a developing country and didn't feel nauseous at all with any of my pregnancies.

I don't mind being sick because I almost always feel better afterwards

Honestly I just have random thoughts like "I really should chew my food better" 😬

I'm with you OP. I don't have OCD, but definitely feel very differently about norovirus than colds, chicken pox, even Covid. Unlike a PP, even when the pandemic started, I was of the view that I'd rather take my chances with it than get norovirus again!

I think one reason is that maybe emetophobes are more prone to getting sick bugs than those who treat them like any other illness? Because we know how hideous they are and they're not that uncommon?

I've also heard the blood type theory and I am also unfortunately type O. I had numerous sick bugs as a child and then luckily had a hiatus until I had my own children (interspersed with two bouts of food poisoning from restaurants and one contracted in Asia though I don't fear food poisoning in the same way as I have more control over that I guess!)

My biggest fear is contracting sick bugs from my DD as that has been my source for the past five years and sadly she has inherited my sick-proneness genes... For the four years before the first lockdown, she (and subsequently I) had one sick bug a year... Then because of social distancing, a break of nearly two years.. But then she seemed to make up for it by having five in the space of five months(!) I was super-obsessive with bleach, face masks etc though and touch wood managed to avoid... But still terrified despite this 'exposure'!

Touch wood, my DS does not seem to have the sick-gene and has never been sick through illness.

I think my biggest fear is it going through all four of us and having to deal with that..

So definitely in awe (and envy) of those who never seem to get sick bugs... I'm not sure I believe the stat of only ever having 5 in a lifetime.. Definitely not the case here!

I am lucky in that I don’t get sickness bugs. B type blood. I do however get the worst hangovers where I puke and puke. I do my utmost to get the sick out as quickly as possible including sticking my toothbrush down my throat to make me sick. When a kid gets sick, it’s a bit gross. But I am more concerned about them not feeling bad/scared/ashamed of being sick
So I play it down loads.

@Jadebanditchillipepper

I said that my husband would rather deal with the kids than cope with my anxiety - the last time one of the kids was ill, he forbade me to come home from work and told me to go and check into a hotel for the night!

Made me feel like an awful mother for abandoning my child when he was ill, but dh said I'd just upset him even more.....

Amazing DH!

Interestingly, I'm the opposite.. As much as I hate it, I have to deal with it as I can then 'control' it a bit more.. I don't trust that my DH would do a good enough job with the bleach, keeping himself away from the vomit so then I'd worry about him/DS catching it.

I practice normal hand washing hygiene, wash and clean my plates, cutlery etc carefully as do most people.
Nobody enjoys being ill or vomiting but it's simply a function of your body working to protect itself. And that's a good (if not exactly pleasant) part of being a human.
That's how I see it, when I am (rarely) puke-y

I had a fear of sick etc. Even someone feeling sick near me would make me start to shake etc. Then my dd1 got very ill and I had to deal with it. She's 5 now so understands to go to the loo to be sick but my dd2 is only 10 months so it just comes out. I thought I was over my fear.

However me and dh got food poisoning from chicken and him throwing up made me shake and cry again. So it seems I can deal with the kids but not him.

@GrandTheftWalrus

I had a fear of sick etc. Even someone feeling sick near me would make me start to shake etc. Then my dd1 got very ill and I had to deal with it. She's 5 now so understands to go to the loo to be sick but my dd2 is only 10 months so it just comes out. I thought I was over my fear.

However me and dh got food poisoning from chicken and him throwing up made me shake and cry again. So it seems I can deal with the kids but not him.

My DD is also 5 and now such an expert(!) knows when she is going to be sick and just takes herself off to the toilet. She is very stoic about it and although she says she 'hates being sick', doesn't make a fuss about it... I'm glad she doesn't have my fear...

I have type O blood and I don’t think I’ve ever had a sickness bug in my life. Neither have my kids. If my stomach is upset I am 100% going to have diarrhoea not sickness

Don’t get me wrong, they have all been sick, but never a prolonged thing.

@Pixies74 last time she was ill she took herself off to the loo to be sick and then went to her bed lol.

I've been emetaphobic for yrs.in my 50,s last vomited over 45 yrs ago.
I hated it when the dcs were ill which was rarely tbh.
Bizarrely I'm better with pain and don't mind pushing myself physically but someone vomit and I'm shaking !!
My dsis tells me nausea is worse than vomiting but I'm not convinced.
I find keeping super busy helps push the negative thoughts away.
They are irrational after all.

I used to be like you to a less extreme level. Exposure has worked for me. I had kids and between us we've all had a few stomach bugs over the years. I get more relaxed with each one because each time I realise that it is soooo not the end of the world! It is nothing like as bad in reality as it is in my head and they are usually over very quickly. I've also realised that not everyone family member gets the bug every time and the panic is honestly just Not. Worth. It.

I still avoid people who might be contagious and use extra good hygiene if someone in the house is in ill (and good hygiene in normal circumstances too) but I think this is just good sense and I'm no longer over the top about it. Life is better.

@Goldfishjones

I used to be like you to a less extreme level. Exposure has worked for me. I had kids and between us we've all had a few stomach bugs over the years. I get more relaxed with each one because each time I realise that it is soooo not the end of the world! It is nothing like as bad in reality as it is in my head and they are usually over very quickly. I've also realised that not everyone family member gets the bug every time and the panic is honestly just Not. Worth. It.

I still avoid people who might be contagious and use extra good hygiene if someone in the house is in ill (and good hygiene in normal circumstances too) but I think this is just good sense and I'm no longer over the top about it. Life is better.

That's really good to hear Goldfishjones!

Thanks @lakeswimmer ! Also that's great that you're very rarely ill.

@ChiefWiggumsBoy, that's interesting and I think really rare for someone with O blood type. If you've all been sick at different points it is possible that those were caused by sickness bugs though- some pass really quickly and don't cause diarrhoea. If you have never had a bug then you're really lucky! :)

I'm sorry to hear that @whatisforteamum, does it affect your life quite a lot too? TBH I think your Dsis might be right- I have an absolute phobic/panic response to other people being sick because it might be contagious (and actually is just traumatic as an emetophobe) but I do actually think the nausea and stomach pains in stomach bugs are worse than the vomiting.

I think you might be right @Pixies74 , I remember having a lot of sickness bugs as a child and teen. I do think if I had type B blood and had not experienced Norovirus, I probably wouldn't have Emetophobia.

That's so kind of your DH @Jadebanditchillipepper and great that EMDR helped you. It didn't work for me but I've heard from other people who've found it helpful too. I have the 'safe' and 'unsafe' foods thing too and totally understand why you could eat chips and crisps and not other foods!

I'm so sorry to hear that @SliceOfCakeCupOfTea , I really hope things get better for you as it must feel be so horrible to struggle with.

Don’t really think too much about it. Obviously practice general hygiene - washing hands after using the toilet, good kitchen hygiene etc, but if I get it, I get it 🤷🏻‍♀️ One of those things where once you’ve got it all out (from whichever end it comes) you feel almost instantly better, so I’d rather spend a couple of days spewing my guts up and be done with it than have a flu-like virus that drags on for weeks (I’m looking at you Covid )

@TomatoCultivator

Have you noticed how often vomiting is used to signal distress in films/series these days? It has taken the place of other acting

Tell me about it, liesdonot!
As an emetophobe I have to get films and series vetted before I can watch them and it’s amazing how many have gratuitous vomiting scenes.

Yes, it's weird how frequently it's used to signal distress. I can actually cope with watching actors fake vomiting now after some ERP in the past but still find it unnecessary!

Not pleasant and I'm careful with food hygeine to avoid them but I am not scared or worried about it. I always deal with it the old fashioned way and its never let me down

starve 24 hrs since last incident of vomiting - usually feel too shite to eat anyway, never been a problem

drink (tiny sips a lot) only cooled boiled water during this time, with half a teaspoon sugar and a tip of a teaspoon salt per litre. Do not drink mineral water, it has to be cooled boiled water so tap is fine. If you insist on mineral water, boil and cool that as well.

I've had maybe 4 or 5 sickness bugs in my entire life (42) and only one since being an adult, that was 15 years ago

DD has had 2 in her entire life (24) and none at all since being an adult

@Ringmaster27

Don’t really think too much about it. Obviously practice general hygiene - washing hands after using the toilet, good kitchen hygiene etc, but if I get it, I get it 🤷🏻‍♀️ One of those things where once you’ve got it all out (from whichever end it comes) you feel almost instantly better, so I’d rather spend a couple of days spewing my guts up and be done with it than have a flu-like virus that drags on for weeks (I’m looking at you Covid )

Yeah I can see why most people feel like this but having recently had Omicron (reasonably badly, for quite a long time), I would rather have it once a week, every month than catch one sickness bug a year. I think that's because even at my most ill with Omicron I could still read/use my phone/think whereas sometimes with stomach bugs, the nausea is literally the only thing you can think about and the symptoms are just overwhelming.

What will be will be is how I think about most things. If I get a bug, I will get some time off work and some rest, albeit not a pleasant one. And then I will recover and it will become a distant memory not long afterwards. I really feel for you. My DD is currently worrying about moths as we get the odd one in our house and it is stopping her sleeping. I just don’t know how to comfort her as logic doesn’t seem to make any difference.

How many stomach bugs have you actually had? I haven’t had one in about ten years (and that was diarrhoea not vomiting), and DS5 has literally never had one. So obviously it isn’t something that bothers me much, because it isn’t really a frequent issue.

I also don’t have a particular problem with vomiting. Obviously I’d rather not, but if it was a choice between a stomach bug and something affecting my mobility, like breaking my leg, I’d go with a stomach bug every time. Stomach bugs are annoying and make it hard to get stuff done/tie you to the house, but they are usually over in 24hrs. I’d find a broken leg far more frustrating and for a far longer period of time.

I really don't like being sick or feeling sick myself but not so bad if it's other people. In terms of germs I just think there are so many risks in life that I take everyday without even thinking about it, plus all the much worse things that could happen to me (car crash, heart attack, lightning strike!) that I'd rather not dwell on any of them and enjoy each day as I have it. I notice the small, nice details around me, and put things around me which bring me joy like plants, pictures, pets!