AIBU to ask your most ridiculous PFB moment...

[OgdensGoneNutFlake]

Inspired by the "first ice cream" thread, I wondered whether anyone had any embarrassingly Precious First Born tales of their own?

None of mine are particularly memorable at this moment, but essentially my second born has had a lot more chocolate, late nights, gopping nappies and soil-eating than my little angelic PFB ever did (and he's altogether happier for it!)

@Birchwoods

I took my PFB to the doctors because her bum crack was really long.

Convinced myself DC1 was colourblind as they never put the Galt pop up people back into the right colours. They were about 10 months old

@Hoppinggreen

I have told this story on here before and other people have mentioned it as well. I had read that in order to make sure your baby was warm enough when you went out but not too hot they should be wearing one more layer than you. I got us both ready to go for a walk and realised we were wearing the amount of layer so I did the obvious thing. I took off one of my layers - made perfect sense at the time!!

🤣🤣🤣🤦‍♀️

@PookieHook

I took my PFB to the baby clinic in tears of panic because I could feel his spine along his back and thought it was too close to the surface of his skin I will always be grateful to that woman for not laughing in my face and at least waiting till I was sent on my way, totally reassured.

My Dad was worried about my eldest sister having a cold nose when she was a newborn and the midwife had to explain to him that she wasn't a dog so it wasn't a problem . To be fair to my Dad he was bought up on farms and was around a lot of animals

Maybe the midwives should get together and write a book of incidents like this! I recall the SSAFA nurse, the military equivalent of a Health Visitor I suppose, calling after No 1 was born, she said everything was fine, lets crack the sherry open! She told me of a very young new mother who had come into the clinic in a panic because her newborn had developed tiny bruises on his chest She looked at him and was puzzled until she saw the mother redressing him, pushing the poppers on his babygrow into his little chest rather than lifting them for fastening. I don't know if it was on here or somewhere else but one couple used paper plates because the noise made by eating off a normal plate would disturb their newborn, no TV, radio, music allowed on because of the 'noise'. Mine would nod off if I used the hoover.

SIL had her first baby the start of the week and has mentioned they are setting alarms to wake the baby up, I don't have the heart to tell her not to!
When DD was 2 weeks old I had researched oral thrush and was convinced she had it as her tongue was white. Went to see the GP who told me it was dried milk. She was very sympathetic though and even gave me a prescription just in case she did get it
DD had about 10 dummies and I used to alternate them to make sure they all got used. The ones that weren't being used would be sterilised and put in individual boxes. I used to line them up so I they were used in order. DS has 4 dummies, left in random places, coat pockets, on the fireplace, changing table. I use whichever one I find first. He's 11 weeks old and they've only been sterilised once, 11 weeks ago. My version of sterilising them now is popping them in my mouth.
From 2 weeks old I used to have baby tv on all day as background noise for DD. I have pictures of being up in the night with her with baby TV on. She'd be asleep and instead of watching a box set I would be watching baby Tv. We don't even have the kids tv channels now for DS and not planning to. I look back and think what a saddo I was watching that all bloody day.

@PookieHook

I took my PFB to the baby clinic in tears of panic because I could feel his spine along his back and thought it was too close to the surface of his skin I will always be grateful to that woman for not laughing in my face and at least waiting till I was sent on my way, totally reassured.

My Dad was worried about my eldest sister having a cold nose when she was a newborn and the midwife had to explain to him that she wasn't a dog so it wasn't a problem . To be fair to my Dad he was bought up on farms and was around a lot of animals

🤣🤣🤣this one made me spit out my tea🙄

@mummyh2016 even worse than that...the first day we had our kitten home I had no idea what to do with it, so I put Supervet on, thinking she might want to see some other animals 🤣🤣🤣

@Rainallnight

Ok here’s mine.

We adopted DD at 8 months old. I was absolutely besotted and still want to cry a bit when I think about it. She had been in foster care since she was born and had been quite neglected there - spent most of her time strapped into a rocker. I became OBSESSED with the fact that she hadn’t done any tummy time and tried to get her to do some but she absolutely hated it. Cried and was really bored and fed up.

So I bought some animal slippers and tap danced in front of her in our living room to entertain her during tummy time.

When I look back at myself

This is honestly the sweetest thing.

@medicmummm

Friend took baby to the GP once worried about blue lines on her PFB’s head when he cried…

….. veins

I'm a GP and I've had so many similar. But I love them - it's lovely to see a healthy baby and be able to reassure.

Just before Covid, I did an 8 week check on a first born (no health concerns). She was dressed head to toe in white frills, her travel system was bright, perfect white, and both parents washed their hands before lifting her out, despite only touching her through her clothes. Bless. I wonder what colour that buggy is now?

This thread triggered a memory of an email I sent BIL and SIL - who have two children of their own AND SIL is a trained and highly experienced early years expert - when they were looking after DD overnight. I did at least open it by saying that I trusted them completely and they didn't have to stick to the instructions - but I then went on to write out a detailed schedule (in some places with five minute increments to the timings!) including the following gem about bedtime:

"Give her a cuddle goodnight, put her in her cot, turn on her My Hummy white noise machine (just squeeze its tummy for a few seconds), put her dummy in her mouth and give her a muslin (saying "here's your dummy and here's your cuggy"), then pat her on the tummy and say "Night night precious girl, night night [DD]", turn the light off with your hand still on her tummy, pat her again and say "Night night [DD]" and then walk straight out."

I am cringing myself inside out even reading it.

Wouldn't use the electric toothbrush while PFB was in the room, was worried about damaging their hearing.

@Laiste

I wouldn't allow horror films on in the evening while DD1 was in the living room with us (fair enough. nasty noises) but then when, for a while after she was 6 months+, and old enough to be upstairs asleep in her room, i still refused to have them on on the TV downstairs

I think if you'd asked me why back then i might have muttered about 'bad vibes'.

I did get over it.

I cried after seeing IT when I was pregnant because "she might have heard it in the womb and been scared and also the evil might have seeped into her!!!"

Unbeknownst to me, DH then watched the entirety of a v. gruesome crime drama when he got up with her in the early mornings!

@AmericanStickInsect - I insisted on my DS having colour-blindness tests done at the hospital when he was about 2 because he could name colours fairly confidently but had started to describe all his toys as 'reen', and I was convinced he had some weird kind of red-green colour-blindness and everything looked green to him. The ophthalmologist very politely went through the motions but said that he was far too young to do a reliable test. A week or two later, DS pointed at a photo of himself and said 'Reen!' and I realised that it was his way of saying his name (a slightly fiddly Welsh name that begins with R and ends with N), and that he'd just been saying that the toys were his

I do remember reading that the HV would want to know how many words he could say at his 18-month check and religiously noting down every new utterance in a numbered list in a Word document, which I printed out to show her. She looked at me as if I were completely insane

I love this!

I love this thread! Those hormones make us all go a little bit crackers.

DD went to my Mums for a weekend and I made my Mum write down all feeds and nappy changes and naps. Surprisingly she agreed, I must have scared her.

I took my PFB to my Dad's whilst I went to an appointment. Bearing in mind I'm one of six and he was a very hands on dad. I went with two sides of A4 instructions, bottles of cool boiled water, enough food and snacks to feed an army and strict instructions not to give him water from the tap at any point (in fact I boiled the kettle and filled a jug to cool in case he drank the three bottles I had prepared. I expected to be gone less than an hour

Some memorable ones

a) a mum of a child in a pram on the bus telling my partner that she wouldn't tell my partner his name "as they might be a paedophile" - to be fair, they were just making conversation
b) a mum (with PND, as we later discovered) asking someone who looked a bit odd to leave a party "as she was upsetting my child" - it wasn't even her party
c) a dad asking everyone on a very crowded London bus to stand at least 3 feet away from their new born (this was pre-Covid!)
d) a mum ringing up school admissions and asking me if there would be a place for her child at a vastly oversubscribed school if she applied early enough. I explained that it didn't work like that in the state sector (you would be surprised how many people think this is the case) and asked how old the child was - "2 weeks" came the reply :-O

DC1 is 3 and we potty trained last summer. I went with the method of putting her on the potty/toilet every hour and for days I kept a diary of every attempt to use the toilet, every accident, whether it was a number 1 or 2, etc. I kept that up for about a week until DH found my potty training notebook and asked what on earth I was doing. Apparently trying to see some kind of pattern in potty training a 2 year old...I abadoned it after that conversation.

I've been laughing along at these then I remembered this

Don't give ds (10 now) caffeinated drinks (lemonade etc fine occasionally).

Was in a chip shop with ds (then 7) at lunchtime. Couple of boys ages 10-12 were buying chips and cans of irn bru. Ds watched them leave and then remarked "those boys don't look 18 but they must be because they have irn bru"

Turns out he thought our rule was because irn bru was a beer and for grown ups. Worrying, because I drank it every day (sugar free!) and he must have thought I was a right boozer!!!

I rather embarrassingly had an issue with anyone naming their child the same or similar name to DC1. Not like his name is totally unique or anything weird, it’s a perfectly usual name just not super common and not top 50. I hated hearing anyone use the same name, it just pissed me off.

I refused to walk down the fridge/freezer aisle in the supermarket with my ten day old baby 😬 despite the fact he was wrapped up cosy in his buggy

First time I left my PFB, she was with my wonderful mother. My Mum has 4 adult children and my PFB was her 6th grandchild.
I left my mum with routine, a sheet of things to look out for (rashes, temp etc)
When my mum said 'I think I know what I am doing darling' I got cross with her and said 'no you have never had a breast fed baby in your care, you need to make sure the bottle is held right and that she is fed on demand so don't think there is a 2/3 hour wait'
My mum just said 'yes, iput, I will follow all instructions' I felt like she was mocking me so I spent half an hour telling her I won't go to the wedding and will make sure my baby is looked after properly.

When I was at the wedding I spent a lot of the time texting mum to check in, I got annoyed if she text me back instantly as I was worried she wasn't looking after DD. I then got worried if she didn't text me back in good time.

@Aaaabbbcccc

Pre birth but I emailed a nasa scientist because I was worried I had been exposed to a solar flare when in a plane. Read too many academic journals., the lovely scientist (an older man) very kindly reassured me and explained the science to me. I will never forget that.

I love that the NASA guy wrote back to you!

Can anyone tell me why some people wouldn’t want someone with nail varnish on holding their baby?

@SilverSplitsTheBlue

There was a hilarious thread on here which was similar. One mother fell to the floor to bang her head to test how hard the floor was after her PFB fell over. While the in laws looked on aghast.

Another one was tempted to walk down her local high street with her PFB aloft so all could admire his beauty.

My absolute favourite (post of all time ever) was a mum who took her DS to the doctor, he asked her to hold her DS's head and hip (iirc) and she positioned her newborn's one hand on his head, the other hand on his hip in a juvenile YMCA type pose. That post cheered me up for weeks.

I just laughed until I cried at this! That never happens to me! My 6 year old asked what I was laughing at and even he laughed when I told him 😂 🤣 😅