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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask your most ridiculous PFB moment...

333 replies

OgdensGoneNutFlake · 07/04/2022 20:05

Inspired by the "first ice cream" thread, I wondered whether anyone had any embarrassingly Precious First Born tales of their own?

None of mine are particularly memorable at this moment, but essentially my second born has had a lot more chocolate, late nights, gopping nappies and soil-eating than my little angelic PFB ever did (and he's altogether happier for it!)

OP posts:
Thejoyfulstar · 08/04/2022 14:24

I'd read that you shouldn't sleep with your baby if you had been drinking alcoho. I wouldn't let my husband sleep in the same room as me and PFB if he'd had a beer, even though I didn't co-sleep and the baby slept in a crib. I thought the baby would breathe in the alcohol my husband breathed out if we all shared a room together.

SirChenjins · 08/04/2022 14:25

@LuckySantangelo35

Can anyone tell me why some people wouldn’t want someone with nail varnish on holding their baby?
Nail varnish and nail extensions increase the risk of disease transmission - pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29533568/
allfurcoatnoknickers · 08/04/2022 14:27

Baby DS hated baths, would scram an scream whenever he had one. Turns out I was so terrified of scalding him that I was basically dunking him in tepid water and he hated it and was freezing Sad.

Princetopple · 08/04/2022 14:38

I left my baby at a few months old with my mother in law to go for some food with his dad. I was convinced that she wouldn't be able to look after him properly. I wrote out four A4 pages of instructions on exactly what to do and when. I was so worried about her not looking after him properly so kept texting for updates. When we got back she said "oh he seemed a bit hungry so I gave him a banana" and it was OUT of his routine! I hadn't provided a banana! I was so angry I bundled him up, took him straight home and refused to speak to her for a week or so.

For some reason, when I told my own mother about this incident, she agreed with me and said that my reaction was perfectly reasonable... I suspect she was a little jealous about the other nan getting some baby time and was hoping she'd get him all to herself in future. I feel so embarrassed now when I think about it.

LuckySantangelo35 · 08/04/2022 14:40

LuckySantangelo35
Can anyone tell me why some people wouldn’t want someone with nail varnish on holding their baby?
Nail varnish and nail extensions increase the risk of disease transmission - pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29533568/

Wow that must be minimal risk though! It’s not as if you’re poking your fingers in the baby’s mouth either

Princetopple · 08/04/2022 14:41

I was also convinced that something was wrong with him when he was a week old or so because he looked so red faced all the time. The midwife came to the house and told me he was just really hot because I had him in so many layers. We had the heating up full blast, a babygrow, knitted cardigan, woolly hat and then layers of blankets. The poor little thing. I'm not sure why I thought he would need to be so warm - probably after experiencing how hot they keep the maternity wards.

Ohmnomnom · 08/04/2022 14:43

While pregnant, I remembered a nasty mosquito bite I had on holiday in Greece last year. Became CONVINCED I had Zika virus and that my baby would be born with microcephaly. I remember grilling the lady doing my scan and when she mentioned that baby was slightly big for his age I broke down in tears.

Dietcokeaddiction · 08/04/2022 15:07

Being a doctor with paediatric experience was massively helpful - either that or I was just a careless mother full stop.

I gave my PFB dates at 9 months and then was confused where the stones had gone (she ate them too). I also gave her milk straight from the fridge - my grandmother had conniptions but it did no harm 🤷.

AdaColeman · 08/04/2022 15:08

Through pregnancy and afterwards, I played Mozart & Tchaikovsky daily, convinced it would help PFB to become a musical genius.
A less musical person than DS it would be difficult to find! Wink

SirChenjins · 08/04/2022 15:15

@LuckySantangelo35

LuckySantangelo35 Can anyone tell me why some people wouldn’t want someone with nail varnish on holding their baby? Nail varnish and nail extensions increase the risk of disease transmission - pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29533568/

Wow that must be minimal risk though! It’s not as if you’re poking your fingers in the baby’s mouth either

Not when you're the mum of a PFB - everything poses a monumental and very real risk Grin
SandyClaws6 · 08/04/2022 15:24

I have quite a few of these!

Sleeping on the sofa for the first 11 months of DS' life as I wasn't ready for him to go in his own room and his cot wouldn't fit in our bedroom.

When DS was about 4 months he started rolling to sleep on his Tummy I was so paranoid about SIDS that I set myself an alarm for every hour to wake up and check/ roll him back! My mum even diligently did this when she stayed over and had him overnight as I was so worried, mortifying! This went on for about 6 weeks until I realised how ridiculous I was being.

Tall Dh accidentally bopped DS' head on the ceiling light so he purposefully hit his own head on it to check it wouldn't have hurt him.

More recently we were playing football in the living room and I accidentally kicked the ball in DS face, it's such a soft ball he didn't even flinch, I still made DH kick it at my face to check it wasn't hard.

I have so many more like this but it's nice to see all the strange PFB things others have done as well Grin

Hoppinggreen · 08/04/2022 15:25

@AdaColeman

Through pregnancy and afterwards, I played Mozart & Tchaikovsky daily, convinced it would help PFB to become a musical genius. A less musical person than DS it would be difficult to find! Wink
When I was pg with Pfb DH used to insist I lay there with headphones attached to my bump so he could play Mozart to her in the womb He’s still convinced it is the reason for her excellent GCSE results last year
catoftheland · 08/04/2022 15:31

My baby was born during lockdown so we were sent to paediatric a&e for minor ailments instead of our GP, which was great as always empty, but you had to share a wait room with general a&e.

I took DS in for food allergy tests and the only other person in a&e wait was a man dressed in a prison issue outfit and handcuffed to two officers.

He was talking loudly about his crime (murder) and how his kids don't want anything to do with him. I remember thinking that he MUST be a monster because despite being a father himself he'd not once looked over or exclaimed how cute DS was ConfusedConfusedConfused

Only a truly evil man wouldn't admire the most beautiful baby in the world (who certainly did not look like a potato with hair).

EliyanahM · 08/04/2022 15:46

@catoftheland
Only a truly evil man wouldn't admire the most beautiful baby in the world (who certainly did not look like a potato with hair).

Lol. I've felt this way about little old ladies and people on the bus before.

edwinbear · 08/04/2022 15:48

So, so many. I was quite obsessed that bf DS wasn't actually getting enough to eat. I kept a notebook, detailing every time he fed, how long for, which side, what the contents of his nappy were etc. I set three hourly alarms in the night to feed him - if he was asleep, I'd wake him up - if he was in a deep sleep, I'd get a wet flannel and wipe it over his face to wake him in case he wasn't sleeping, but in some sort of food deprived coma having gone a whole 3 hours without eating.

Eventually, I bought my own set of electronic baby scales and I'd weigh him before and after every feed to check he was marginally heavier afterwards and therefore had taken some milk in. I realised I'd gone way OTT when I took him to A&E because I was so convinced he wasn't getting enough milk - the very understanding and patient doctor took one look at his chubby cheeks and chunky baby thighs and gently enquired if he was my PFB. He's now a lean, athletic 12yr old with absolutely zero interest in food - I think I put him off for life in those early months!

Couchbettato · 08/04/2022 16:18

Not being able to put DS down to go for a shower when it was just us in the house incase he died.

It was actually PNA but if I could do it again I'd just bung him in his cot with cbeebies on.

isurvived3under2 · 08/04/2022 16:28

@MrsAvocet I distinctly remember my DM cleaning her nipples before every feed with my sister (I'm 10 years older so I remember well). She used some kind of sterilised gauze thingy (not in the UK so not sure if this was a thing here - but your MIL might not have been completely batty!)

MrsAvocet · 08/04/2022 16:49

[quote isurvived3under2]@MrsAvocet I distinctly remember my DM cleaning her nipples before every feed with my sister (I'm 10 years older so I remember well). She used some kind of sterilised gauze thingy (not in the UK so not sure if this was a thing here - but your MIL might not have been completely batty!)[/quote]
Yes it did used to be advised to clean your nipples pre feed .It's outdated advice likely to cause more harm than good, but it does kind of have some logic to it. The batty bit was that she was expecting me to use red hot water straight from the kettle!

Herejustforthisone · 08/04/2022 16:56

I wasn’t PFB at all. I’m not boasting or mocking, all these totally bonkers things come from a place of intense love and good intentions. And they are absolutely hilarious.

But I was so casual with my first that my in-laws would tell my husband they didn’t think I was taking it seriously Confused Now, before I get a rollicking, I wasn’t negligent, I did everything I needed to and more, it just didn’t bother me when he cried so I wouldn’t leap to his attention always, we both slept really well at night and they used to say I should wake him for feeds, they couldn’t believe I’d bath him in the kitchen sink, or that I’d put him outside in his pram to nap, or that I’d take him to the stables with me and let him nap in his pram as a newborn while I mucked out, or that I’d let him be on his play mat on the floor with dogs in the house, or that I did baby led weaning as well as frozen dollops of mush. They didn’t like that I exercised in pregnancy either and didn’t swap my car for something eminently more sensible. I suspect they’d have found fault with me, whatever I did. When I told them I laughed rather than cried when my baby had his jabs, that sort of sealed the deal that I was a monster.

With my animals, however, I’m PFB in the extreme. Think laminated lists of instructions, complete with emergency contacts.

Popsicle27 · 08/04/2022 17:40

I took my DD to the GP because I had dropped a crumb in her eye whilst feeding herBlush

Yogity · 08/04/2022 18:01

DD is still young so this feels fresh! Massively PFB here. I did not expect to be like that at all!

-When I went to baby groups I would feel a little embarrassed because DD was clearly much more beautiful than the other babies and I didn't want to upset the other mums.

-I slept in a sleeping bag or ski thermals for months fear our duvet would migrate into her next to me crib and suffocate her

-I was devastated when we started swimming classes at 12 weeks old and she just floated and didn't kick her legs like some of the other babies

-I threw a strop when out for lunch and DD had a nappy explosion because I only had a babygrow spare in the changing bag and I had degraded her by putting her into pj's in a restaurant

  • Probably my worst, i booked two separate photoshoots so that DD could warm to the photographer like a screen test and not feel frightened. The photographer must have taken pity on me for being PFB cause she only charged a negligible amount for the first one and spent most of the time cooing and making DD laugh. I'm humiliated at the thought now!
incognitoforthisone · 08/04/2022 18:23

With my animals, however, I’m PFB in the extreme. Think laminated lists of instructions, complete with emergency contacts.

@Herejustforthisone I regularly look after my sister's dogs and she leaves me four to six sides of handwritten A4 paper every time. The instructions include which side of you each dog prefers to be on when you walk them on the lead, which hole their collars must be adjusted to, how to check them for ticks and what to do if I should happen to find one, and my personal favourite, the correct temperature to which I should heat up the water to soften their dry food, along with many, many other instructions. And yes, emergency contacts for the vet, the out of hours vet, and the other vet in case the first two aren't available.

I have decades of experience with dogs - including her dogs - and have zero requirement for the instructions, but I actually find it a little bit endearing because I know it just comes from how much she cares about them!

CuddlyCactus · 08/04/2022 19:56

-I slept in a sleeping bag or ski thermals for months fear our duvet would migrate into her next to me crib and suffocate her

This is hilarious @Yogity GrinGrinGrin

110APiccadilly · 08/04/2022 20:25

DD was term but small (well under 5lb) and I was told to feed her at least every three hours to start with. My mum came round to look after her for a bit so I could get a nap in.

I woke up, glanced at the clock, and thought it had been four hours since I went to sleep. I raced down the stairs into the living room (IIRC, I was either naked or only wearing pants - obviously I couldn't wait to put any clothes on while DD was starving) asking my mum what on earth she thought she was doing - didn't she know that DD needed a feed an hour ago?! Mum, holding a very content sleeping DD, looked at me in confusion and explained to me it had been one hour since I went to go and have a nap. I had failed to read the time in my panic.

I also phoned 111 twice in two separate incidents because my refluxy baby had been sick in a way that seemed to me slightly different to normal.

In retrospect, I think I was a lot less rational about her as a newborn than I thought I was. The shock of her being so small (we didn't know till she was born) did a bit of a number on me.

BurgerKingAddict · 08/04/2022 21:03

@Rainallnight

Ok here’s mine.

We adopted DD at 8 months old. I was absolutely besotted and still want to cry a bit when I think about it. She had been in foster care since she was born and had been quite neglected there - spent most of her time strapped into a rocker. I became OBSESSED with the fact that she hadn’t done any tummy time and tried to get her to do some but she absolutely hated it. Cried and was really bored and fed up.

So I bought some animal slippers and tap danced in front of her in our living room to entertain her during tummy time.

When I look back at myself Hmm

I don’t think that’s PFB behaviour I think that’s just being a good mum and it’s sweet.